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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this ridiculous?

29 replies

sparklerainbowglitter · 03/09/2010 18:15

DD, 13, has just announced that for her school swimming lessons they are allowed to wear shorts and T shirts over their swimwear if they are uncomfortable with their body. AIBU or is this just ridiculous ?

OP posts:
sorrento56 · 03/09/2010 18:16

What is wrong is the saying "if they are uncomfortable with their body." They could have said you can wear a t-shirt over your costume if you want.

IlooklikeGrotbagstoday · 03/09/2010 18:16

I wouldn't want to wear shorts and t shirt, it makes it a lot harder to swim!

Clumsymum · 03/09/2010 18:17

UTTERLY POTTY !!!

to me it seems to encourage the idea of being 'uncomfortable with your body'.

Algebra18MinusPiEquals16 · 03/09/2010 18:21

I guess it's good that they are allowed to, but I admit I feel really sad when I see teenage girls wearing clothes over their swimwear in the pool. and it's always completely gorgeous, would-kill-for-that-body type girls! don't get me wrong, I'm glad they aren't wearing tiny bikinis, but it's horrible that these beautiful young women feel so bad about themselves that they feel the need to do it :(

Marjee · 03/09/2010 18:22

I think thats a really good idea, at that age I was so insecure I'd have hated wearing a swimming costume in front of my classmates and teachers. They probably could have worded it better though

sarah293 · 03/09/2010 18:23

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HappyMummyOfOne · 03/09/2010 18:24

I think its a good idea too, I suffered with really bad spots on my back and hated swimming with school.

atswimtwolengths · 03/09/2010 18:26

I think it's a great idea! It would help anyone who was unhappy with their body - why is that a bad thing? Plenty of teenagers don't want to show their bodies to other girls or other boys.

Original poster
sparklerainbowglitter · 03/09/2010 18:27

Trouble is, my as my DD says - "I'll probably have to as everyone else will" even though she loves swimming and recognises it is completely inpractical. Have to agree that if you didnt have a complex about your body to begin with the whole thing suggests that you ought to!

OP posts:
seeker · 03/09/2010 18:28

Good idea - but not if thay actually said "if you are uncomfortable with your body". If they just said "If you want to wear a t shirt, that's OK so long as it's not too floppy" that would be fine.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 03/09/2010 18:28

Much harder work to swim, but then more calories used so these girls might end up with the bodies they want.

addictedisgettingexcited · 03/09/2010 18:36

at that age i would have jumped at the chance to wear shorts over the top of my swimming costume.

it is sad that there are young girls unhappy with their body's but there are also class mates who tease and bully because your too thin, too fat, have a birth mark, have strech marks, dont shave your legs yet - i could go on and on.

i was very thin but still got teased about my weight, size and how i looked Sad its taken years for me to be happy with who i am, i'm not saying a pair of shorts would have stopped the teasing, however it would have made me feel more comfortable about the parts of my body i was teased about. and it would have meant the girls wouldn't have had to see the parts i was already worried about and have teased something that i was more confident on.

Booboobedoo · 03/09/2010 18:46

As a teen I spent one year faking sick notes every week (bar one when I forgot) to get out of swimming.

If my school had suggested what your daughters' school has, I'd have swum.

I physically couldn't bear the idea of being seen in a swimming costume by my peers.

It doesn't matter if it was 'wrong' or 'sad' - it was as it was.

I think a way to help more self-conscious girls engage with sport can only be a good thing.

mumtoabeautifulbabyboy · 03/09/2010 18:49

How lucky you are that your DD is confident about her body. Many, many teenagers are not, and for them swimming can be excruciating.
Good on your school for caring enough about the children in their care to try to make swimming something everyone can participate in more confidently. I had PE teachers at school who would have actually enjoyed making their pupils feel embarassed.:(
The owrding doesn't sound great but then again messages can get lost in translation! This may be your daughter's interpretation of the message:)

lolapoppins · 03/09/2010 18:50

I think it's a good thing. Kids can be viscious to each other about thier bodies.

nancydrewrocked · 03/09/2010 18:51

YANBU - it's ridiculous.

PixieOnaLeaf · 03/09/2010 18:53

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Original poster
sparklerainbowglitter · 03/09/2010 19:02

I completely understand about feeling unhappy with your body - thats part of being 13 (or even 40+). I think part of growing up is learning to accept the way you are and realising that we are all different shapes etc. This kind of approach seems to be saying if you think your body is strange it probably is so cover it up!!

Also in this case I would think wearing clothes actually stops you swimming properly.The message to the girls seems to be - what you look like is more important than what you are actually doing.

OP posts:
BabyDubsEverywhere · 03/09/2010 19:03

My whole year group got out of swimming from the age of 14 as one of the LADS brought a note from his mom asking for him to be excused as it would make him a target for bullying (he was quite large) he told his mate how he got out of it, it spread around the edge of the pool and we all walked out of the lesson. from then on they had to make optional as they kept getting walk-outs Grin

Surely the teenage years are by far the most self-consious, i cant see the problem with shorts and tshirts, if i could wear shorts and tshirt now without looking odd id go swimming.

sarah293 · 03/09/2010 19:07

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Clumsymum · 03/09/2010 19:48

" I think part of growing up is learning to accept the way you are and realising that we are all different shapes etc. This kind of approach seems to be saying if you think your body is strange it probably is so cover it up!! "

Exactly !!

Look in my estimation 95% + of us hate something about the way we look. But you have to get used to it. If you can't accept yourself, no one else will either!!

I thought there was this whole campaign to stop girls thinking they had to look like models. This just highlights the problem.

And yes, kids can be vicious towards one another. But it's that issue we should be dealing with, stop the bullies.

sarah293 · 03/09/2010 19:50

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Notyetamummy · 03/09/2010 19:56

Hey,

At least they get to wear their cosies underneath - when we were at school, if we forgot our swimming cosies we had to wear our white t-shirt and shorts into the pool and they went see-through.

We also had to shower naked with the PE teacher watching us and taking a register as we left to make sure that everyone had properly washed.

The same PE teacher also kept a record of when our periods were so that we didn't skive swimming by saying that we were on. I was irregular and she always made a scene about how I must be lying as I was on last week - I then had to run round the field.

I think your DDs school sounds very understanding about the fact that teenage girls may have confidence issues.

rainbowinthesky · 03/09/2010 19:58

What a fantastic idea. WIsh they'd allowed us to do this when I was teen. It would have meant far more girls swimming in school rather than crappy excuse notes from loads everytime we had to swim.

rainbowinthesky · 03/09/2010 20:00

Notyetamummy - we had PE teachers like that. I was also very publically humiliated when having irregular periods as I had a note not to shower too. My mother went ballistic and I got an apology from the bitch PE teacher.