in not wanting dd portrayed as a freak

[whatkatydidathome]

dd has just started a new middle school. She is "odd" - not much in the way of social skills and very much a walking encyclopedia. She had a friendship group set up at her first school to enable her to learn to interact and we had meetings with the SN staff at her new school to ensure that they knew what to expect.

Like all the new starters she has a year 8 child as a "buddy" to help her settle in.

We found out today that this buddy has been taking dd around the school "showing her off" to all her year by getting dd to "say something". dd is fine with this as she says that everyone thought that she was v clever but she also said that y 8 boys are now saying that she has frizzy hair, looks odd etc which is not surprising given that she is being falunted around like this by her buddy.

AIBU here in not wantign her buddy to be dragging her around and pointing her out to people like this? We really wanted her to make a new start here adn get rid of her "odd and different" image (which has previously resulted in her getting name called etc which she does not have the social skills to cope with).

Aw your poor dd, I really think you need to approach the school. The girl isn't mature enough or responsible enough to help your dd I think. Luckily in secondary school there are such a volume of kids that 'odd' children seem to be able to find a nice group of children after a while, my bmcousin is alot like you described and he found a nice steady group to knock bout with. Hope your dd is ok xx

Btw-did you watch the big personality test on BBC one? Part of the child of our time series?

hmmmm I wouldn't be too worried as yet. It sounds like the buddy has been over enthusiastic with introducing her to people.

I am guessing the yr 8 boys would probably have made fun regardless... well I they are anything like the yr 8 boys I have met.

I think that it is great to help her socialise, but that in reality she needs to embrace her quirkiness. If this is who she is it will be hard to break from it, and kind of unfair. I think reminding her it is ok to be different, but that some people see this as a chance to make fun, and that is not ok. I think self asteem building needs to allow for her own personality, and pointing out that those picking on her are wrong to do so. They are the ones with a problem.

Apparently the middle school ds will move to has people who pick on you for the wrong trainers... how very sad. I only hope ds (who is a unique personality too), fares well... (I don't have to worry about it just yet).

Hope the experience doesn't daunt your DD too much

YANBU - I would have a word with school and demand that this buddy is "spoken to", how awful for your DD - it's early on in the term so hopefully she can team up with someone else and put these first few days behind her x kids can be so cruel so sad for you x

The buddy might be impressed? She is only just older than your DD.

This may be a silly thing to say as I don't have children, so please ignore it if you think it's daft - but maybe the buddy didn't even realize your DD had poor social skills? Maybe she was impressed with the chatty 'walking encyclopedia' aspect and thought it would be fun for your DD? I only say because some children are very nervous answering questions and are impressed by someone else who can.