To just list all the things DH has done to wind me up in the past few weeks?

[Pioneer]

Turned on the hot tap in the bath, resulting in DS scalding his hand after I had repeatedly told him to put cold in first or use the mixer tap.

Shouted "Now look what you've done!" to 2.1 yo DS when above incident happened.

DS has suddenly started being a bit of a nightmare going to bed. It took me over an hour to settle him last night. I had left all the ingredients out on the worktop for tea (simple vegetable pasta). When I came down at 8.30 DH was lying on sofa watching TV.

Constantly tells me that he has "no time" to do anything in the evening when he lies on the sofa watching TV and surfing net from 7.30pm until 10.30pm.

Arranged with his sister for our nephew to come up and stay for a few days during the week, when DH is at work, without telling me. I found out at teatime and DH was picking him up at 9pm. He is no trouble, but I would have liked to have been asked.....

Tell me if IABU as I am having a bad day

Feel free to use this space for your own DHisms...

Just wondering if we are married to the same man really!

YANBU IMO

In the space of 48 hrs DH....

Left a big floaty poo in the loo....I mean really!

Turned the dishwasher on for 4 teaspoons and 1 plate

gagged at a pooey nappy and then couldn@t continue ( which is outrageous when you consider my first point)

Made tea for himself ( while I was in the same room)

forgot to order the online shopping

played 2 rounds of golf.

Oh MrsMoosickle I really think we are!

The poo thing has happened here too, either that or inch thick "skidmarks"down the back of the toilet

My DH also can't handle dirty nappies - he has to hold his breath and insists I help as he can't do it on his own ....

Oh well at least I know I'm not alone.

I frequently have to stop myself from screaming "How stupid/selfish/disgusting are you!"

I pointed out to my DH today that he says "I want" more than our seven year old does! He also went to the bakers and came home with three cakes - one for him, one for eldest DS and one for youngest - none for me. I threw a tantrum and he went and bought flowers! Where's my bloody CAKE???? Flowers are just work - find a vase fill it up etc - cake is cake! Is that ungrateful?

Now he's announced he's going down the fucking fishing lake tonight!!! Give me strength!

Mine gave DD a biscuit 15 minutes before her tea was ready today at 4.45pm. When I told him I'd just said she couldn't have a biscuit because it was nearly tea time, he said "well, I didn't know!". Weird, because I'm sure he can tell the time just fine when it's nearly time for Match of the Day to start?