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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to 'allow' DD1 to get herself a job?

25 replies

EccentricaGallumbits · 02/09/2010 15:55

She is 14 and been looking for a job for a few months so she can earn some pocket money and save up for the things 14 year old girls want, like a flash phone, mascara and diamonds.

Anyway - she's had some trouble as theres lots of rules about what children can and can't work as but eventually has mangaed to get herself a regular monthly local paper drop - paying £65 a month. The area she has to deliver to are a bit spread out across our smallish town.

So she's thrilled to bits. I'm rather glad that she's done it all herself and all fine.

Until a few comments from work collegues / acquaintances who think i am unreasonable for 'making' my child work and think she'll not be safe.

So am I? It's not like i'm sending her up a chimney. She wants to do it.

OP posts:

BitOfFun · 02/09/2010 15:56

Of course you are not unreasonable. It's excellent that she wants to work, and will stand her in great stead for the future.

mumeeee · 02/09/2010 15:58

YANBU. Your DD sounds very sensible and well done to her tohave managed to get a job. DD3 18 has been trying hard for about 18 months and has not got anything. She's at college so just wants a Saturday job.

TheNextMrsDepp · 02/09/2010 15:59

Whaaaat? I'd be chuffed to bits if I had a 14yo who got off her arse and found herself a job. How can anyone think you're forcing her?

As for personal safety, as long as she applies the same rules she would use if she were out alone anywhere else, she'll be fine.

mousymouse · 02/09/2010 15:59

that sounds fine to me. I did paper rounds once a week at that age to about 300 households. rural village so took me some time...

scurryfunge · 02/09/2010 16:00

Strange comments from your colleagues....maybe they do not have teens.

bellabelly · 02/09/2010 16:00

I think it's great. I gave up my weekly paper round pretty sharpish though - it's awful hard work so just be supportive if she finds it a bit much. Got job soon after waitressing at a local restaurant and it seemed like a doddle in comparison - and it was more money! Great that she is motivated. What are your friends worried about exactly? Her safety? Or that she shouldn't be working full stop? I loved having a bit of money that I'd earned for myself - good lesson in self-reliance imho.

wigglesrock · 02/09/2010 16:01

YANBU I did a paper round at 14, really enjoyed it but do remember in the depths of winter, coercing my wonderful dad to drive me round delivering the papers

Original poster

EccentricaGallumbits · 02/09/2010 16:02

odd isn't it. someone said 'i'd rather give them the money myself'. I wouldn't. I can't afford to and if she wants shiny tgadgets then i think she's quite old enough to earn them.

OP posts:

comtessa · 02/09/2010 16:02

YADNBU! I worked at a stables at the weekends from when I was about 9 years old until I was 18.

(Sadly reflects that DD likely won't have same opportunities due to Health and Safety etc)

sloanypony · 02/09/2010 16:03

Let her do it.

My mother didn't let me get a job until I left school at 18. She didn't want anything to distract me from my studies and she didn't want to have to drive me there or pick me up.

Consequently I never had any money.

The minute I graduated, which co-incided with my 18th birthday, she demanded that I go out and find a job (didn't even let me sit around for the weekend after the Friday exams finished). I went out to try and get a job, it took a good while because they could employ 15, 16 and 17 year olds cheaper (minimum wage thing in my home country) AND I had no experience to make it worthwhile employing an 18 year old at the higher rate.

I did get a job in the end though, at a dogey pizza place in a terrible part of the city and all she did was moan about how worried she was me getting there and back which is fair enough but beggars aint choosers.

There was no pleasing the woman!!!

sanielle · 02/09/2010 16:04

I think that it is weird your colleagues have an issue with it.

Tell her to mind the Sunday supplements though my DH says they are a killer (or at least they were 20 years ago when he had a paper round

loola2shu · 02/09/2010 16:05

I think its brilliant, I worked summer holidays from the age of twelve as a receptionist (in an office) for a friend of the family.

I think having a good work ethic from a young age is fantastic, certainly makes you appreciate the value of money!

Well done Eccentrica Jnr!

I wish my 16year old neice would do the same instead of pestering my poor mum for pocket money all of the time

SeaTrek · 02/09/2010 16:06

YANBU at all! I had my first paper round at 12 (shared it with a friend who was 13) and I have had a job ever since. i do remember the year I got my paper-round having shocking success at the school cross-country (usually waddled in around the back somewhere, chatting and managed to win it!). It is a wonderful thing for a teenager to have a job (speaking as a secondary school teacher here!).

Original poster

EccentricaGallumbits · 02/09/2010 16:07

now i'm remembering sunday paper round in december (circa 1989 when loads of people ordered papers) it was chuffing awful.

at least this one can be done any time during a particular week each month so she can avoid rain and darkness.

OP posts:

BigBadMummy · 02/09/2010 16:08

DNBU at all! How great that you have instilled such a great work ethic in your DD and that she sees that things have to be earned.

I would be incredibly proud.

You have hardly sent her up a chimney or got her working in a sweatshop!

A paper round is almost a rite of passage and I wish my DCs would do one but boarding school and early morning school runs make it impossible.

JaneS · 02/09/2010 16:10

Your colleagues are jealous she's so sorted out.

I can imagine she might want to drop the job after a bit if it's too hard, but I think it's great she wants to give it a go. For what it's worth, my parents didn't 'make' us work (ie., didn't let us), and the result was that it was much harder to apply for casual work later on (no CV, you see - if you're applying for something like student bartending, they do care that you used to have a paper round). And I think it's a bad mindset to get into - keeps you more childish. It's great that your DD takes responsibility for herself. Giving her the money wouldn't be anything like as good.

Original poster

EccentricaGallumbits · 02/09/2010 16:10

trying to persuade her she'll need one of these

OP posts:

Deliaskis · 02/09/2010 16:11

I can't see why anyone would have an issue with it. I think it's good to learn the value of money at a young age - you look at something you want, you think about how many shifts waitressing it will take you, and decide whether it's worth it or not. Also teaches you a bit about responsibility as getting b0ll0cked by a teacher or your Mum is no longer the only way to get in trouble.

Also gives lots of teens a glimpse of the kind of jobs that some people do all the time, which can help them to shape their own future (either as in a 'help I don't want to flip burgers all my life so I'd better study hard' kind of way, or in a 'I had never thought about catering/hospitality as a career but I am really interested in it' kind of way).

I realise that all of the above is based on my experience of waitressing from the age of 14, but the same applies to any job really.

ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave · 02/09/2010 16:11

YANBU. And aa paper rounds (as you said, normally a bit of a nightmare job) go, this is a really good one.

AbsofCroissant · 02/09/2010 16:13

YANBU, your colleagues are barking. It's brilliant that she's gone and decided this for herself, and gotten the job, rather than expected you to pay for everything.

Original poster

EccentricaGallumbits · 02/09/2010 16:16

So I am not bonkers and can take full credit for DD1 being such a perfect teenager my work here is done. Now for DD2 - chimneys may be the best option, with luck she may get lost or stuck.

OP posts:

harassedinherpants · 02/09/2010 16:16

YANBU.

She sounds like a very sensible and motivated girl! I'm sure you're very proud of her.

Odd comments from your colleagues, but then people do seem to think that way now. Wrapping dc's up in cotton wool doesn't do them any favours imo.

Morloth · 02/09/2010 16:18

Money you earn is so much more satisfying than money you are given.

JaneS · 02/09/2010 16:23

Good luck with the persuading, Eccentrica! If I were 14 I would rather die ... but it is very practical and perhaps in the second week she'll come round?

Take the credit, she sounds great.

superv1xen · 02/09/2010 16:23

haha, this has just reminded me, when i was 14, i had a paper round, used to deliver the shite free papers, after a few weeks i soon realised no one wanted them so used to just bin them and pocket the cash

but in answer to your OP - i dont think theres anything wrong with letting her have a job, i think it teaches them the value of money and gives them a work ethic.

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