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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask DH to do the school run on fridays?

20 replies

pjmama · 02/09/2010 10:19

DCs start school next week. It's about 9 miles away so is at least an hour round trip, with traffic and drop off etc. I'm a SAHM so I will be doing all the school runs so will be making this trip twice a day.

DH works Monday to Thursday but has Fridays off. I want to ask him if he'll take them to school on Friday mornings (we'll probably both collect them), but I don't really have any good reason for this other than just so it's one less for me to have to do! I know he'll probably object because it's his day off and he'll have jobs he wants to do too.

Do you think this is a fair request and can you think of a better argument than "just because"?!

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 02/09/2010 10:22

Do you also have a day off and get to do the things you want to do? If not then he shouldn't object.

Original poster
pjmama · 02/09/2010 10:24

He will argue though that I have time to myself when the DCs are in school the rest of the week. He's probably got a point actually.

OP posts:
rubyrubyruby · 02/09/2010 10:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whatkatydidathome · 02/09/2010 10:27

my dh works from home full time and I work from home part time. He does the school run evry day if he can (sometimes he is away). He likes doing it as it makes him feel properly involved in their lives. They were late every day when I did it Blush - now they are almost on time (but still a little late) :)

Original poster
pjmama · 02/09/2010 10:28

I might be able to sell it to him if we take turns each week, I guess. That's probably fairer, although the selfish bag in me would rather he did it every week! Grin

OP posts:
Poledra · 02/09/2010 10:30

Why not start doing it week about, then maybe he'll find he enjoys having this time with the DCs, and offers to do it more often? [optimistic smiley]

Original poster
pjmama · 02/09/2010 10:31

I'm liking the argument that it keeps him involved with their school life more, I might be able to work that!

OP posts:
mayorquimby · 02/09/2010 11:08

one week on one week off seems fair

Itsonme · 02/09/2010 13:23

I don't really think it's unreasonable tbh. It's nice for a father to be involved in some of the school runs where they can be. My dh doesn't have that luxury but I know he'd jump at the chance if he did.

bumpybecky · 02/09/2010 13:26

YANBU to ask, but YABU to expect

my DH does the school run one day a week, in our case it's on foot and he ends up leaving for work about 25 mins later than he would otherwise. There's no real need for him to do this, but the dds (x3) like it :)

rookiemater · 02/09/2010 13:37

YANBU as your DH is off on Fridays it seems only proper and right that he should do it.

I can't say I enjoy doing every single preschool run (and working as well) but DS generally chats about his day, what happened the day before, what he is looking forward to today so I understand what is going through his mind. School runs are a good way to bond with DCs in a non intrusive way.

sarah293 · 02/09/2010 13:39

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Message withdrawn

tokyonambu · 02/09/2010 15:44

"DCs start school next week. It's about 9 miles away so is at least an hour round trip"

That sounds pretty tough. Good luck with it.

violethill · 02/09/2010 16:35

If your children are all at school, and you get all that time free, whereas your DH works 4 days a week, and just has the one day off, then overall, you're way ahead of him in the time off stakes. So TBH I don't think you'd have a leg to stand on if he says no, you should do it.

Worth a try - but tbh I don't think you should expect it!

Dorisfromfame · 02/09/2010 16:54

Do you have to both collect him? I would think the afternoon run is more disruptive to trying to get jobs done.

I'd be asking DH (lark) to take him and I'd collect so that I (owl) could have a more leisurely start to the day and he could get on with stuff in the afternoon.

If you are more of a morning person than I am, them maybe you you take him and ask DH to pick him up?

Dorisfromfame · 02/09/2010 16:57

Jusr realised that make me sound very lazy, lol! Of course I mean that I'd get all my jobs done in the morning and he could have a chill out in the afternoon while I did the school run!

roadkillbunny · 02/09/2010 17:17

YANBU to ask at all, the school run is a lovely time to chat you the dc and talk about what they are doing at school, who is their best friend this week, if there is anything on their minds, I have had some wonderful talks with my dd on the walk to school, having a half hour in the car is a fantastic opportunity for daddy bonding time, he would feel so much move involved in school life, sell it to him that way, I know my dh would love the chance to take dd to school, he only gets to do it on the very rare occasion he is off work, he always walks back in with a huge smile on his face and a funny tale of a conversation he has had with dd (who is 5), if he says he doesn't want to though I think you would be unreasonable to get upset about it or have an argument about it.

Original poster
pjmama · 02/09/2010 17:33

Thanks everyone for your suggestions and comments. I'll ask and see what he says, with suggesting taking it in turns as a backup if his bottom lip starts quivering!

If he says no though, I'll lump it! Grin

OP posts:
kim147 · 02/09/2010 20:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

undercovamutha · 02/09/2010 20:56

Why don't you just say that the DCs would LOVE him to take them, and it means a lot to them.

Also, if he says he has loads of jobs to do, you could always compromise so that he does the morning run on his own and you do the afternoon pick-up on your own. That way you both get a break.

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