lying to get my dd out of a party?

[stargazer83]

A family a few doors down from us always invite dd 4 to birthday partys at there house. Whilst this is lovely of them it always ends up as a hellish experiance whilst the parents are lovely the kids are not quite so lovely. DD ends up being hit, kicked, spat on and teased so for the past couple I've made a point of not reminding dd and going out before the party starts as even though I tell the parents we wont be able to make it they make a point of knocking on the door to see if we're home. Today we got caught heading out and dd was very excited and asked to go. An hour later and 3 episodes of punching and 1 episode of strangling later I annonce we have to go because DD will be late for her swimming lesson.

Oops sorry dd is 5

Why can't you tell them about what happens to your dd?

yanbu but did you not challenge the parents about the dc behaviour? i can never stay quiet when this stuff happens

Why on earth are you not saying anything to any of the parents about this?

The parents know and appologise to me and make the kids appologise to dd but then it happens again a little while latter. The kids dont care that there being watched by adults
MrsRhettButler I'm not very good at confrontation and would rather leave then ask them to sort there brats angels out.

i'm surprised your dd wants to go! but much better to lie and leave imo next year make sure you are gone from the morning for a whole day out

you could go swimming

It's not about being good at confrontation.

You could just say "every year dd gets bitten, hit, etc and until I can be sure it wont happen, she wont be coming to your parties. You'd do the same, wouldn't you?".

Simple.

What 'orrible children.

I think its fine to keep making excuses to avoid the situation. Not everyone is comfortable with potential confrontation

YANBU your dd shouldn't have to put up with that and I would do the same

Since your saying you cannot make it doesn't seem to sink in, it is probably best to tell her why. I wonder why she comes to the door anyways, that is a bit odd.

I'd rather make excuses though.

If someone isn't comfortable with confrontation.. They aren't comfortable.

"every year dd gets bitten, hit, etc and until I can be sure it wont happen, she wont be coming to your parties. You'd do the same, wouldn't you?" saying that would be very confrontational and likely to get the parents on the defensive. Some people like getting on with their neighbours.

Lie to your hearts content OP, just make sure you do actually go out.

You say the parents are lovely.

Do they help in ascertaining why dd has been picked on ?

OP-are you at the party with your daughter?

Why does your daughter want to go when she has been bullied there in the past?