To be fed up with FIL & NIL (double rant)

[Hai1988]

(NIL = Nan in law)

I am starting to get really fed up with FIL for several reasons, Firstly when DS stays round his sometimes on a Saturday night he gets him about 3 packets of sweets and bottles of fruit shoots to eat and drink all night.
He never eats his dinner because FIL just lets him get away with no eating it and gives him sweets anyway.
Lets him get away with murder, so when he comes back the next day he is uncontrollable fuelled with sugar and been let to do whatever he wants.

Also eh doesn't seem to understand how much DS's behaviour gets to me and DH.
When he misbehaves FIL just says oh he's all right !!!

The other day I put him onto his naughty place to calm down as he threw a paddy for no reason, FIL then came round and was like oh he's al-right and when and spoke to him and said oh its OK DS.

The trouble is I don't want to say anything to him as he will get offended and not want to look after DS any more, in-case I say anything probably, and without FIL I would never ever get the breaks I so well need.

How do i aproch this !!??

Also another little rant about NIL.

We went over to visit the other day, DS was in the garden with GD, and NIL said "oh when is DS going to get a little play mate" Was just about to answer soon maybe.

The she came out with this to DH "Oh you will probably be like you father and only have the one mistake and not bother with any more" !!!!

Is it just be or would you take real offence to that comment.

I'd ignore NIL shes old and un PC.

As for FIL - Really? You can't hve your cake and eat it. Lots of parents don't get a "break" thats what you sign up for.

If it annoys you that much then say something and be prepared to pay for a babysitter if he gets offended and stop using the poor bloke for free childcare.

Like Lady said, ignore the nan, old people say funny things. My step nan told my sister that it's good job her son is a boy coz he would be an ugly little sod as a girl! think there was a compliment in there. Somewhere.

If FIL's way of taking care of DS upset you so much put a stop to it. Really. Personally I'd have nipped it in the bud after 1st time DS stayed.

I don't allow DD to spend more than afternoon at a time alone with IL because MIL's ways of looking after her clash badly with my own. For now I don't trust her so that's end of the matter.

at the NIL comment.

Thank god some1 is shocked my NIL comment take.

To be honest the treat thing doesnt bother me that much because gp's are going to spoil them, so i can put up with that every now and again.

Its just the fact he always under minds me, but then my dad does that to aswell, is it a dad thing??

I think it might be a Dad thing, years ago my eldest wanted some more cake/ice cream after eating all her dinner and then a portion of cake/ice cream, I, big bad Mummy said 'No', my Dad said if she wants it let her have it, I said it will make her sick, he said no it won't (you get the idea!) so I said fine if you think she will be alright then let her have it but if shes sick then you have to clear it and her up - by the way she hated being sick and would get really upset - he agreed, you can guess what happened a little while later! But Dad did clear it and her up, my Mum wanted to help but I told her Dad had agreed and so we left him to it.

He never tried that again!!

To be honest, it's up to your FIL what he does when your DS is with him surely? I don't understand this requirement for a 'break' from your children though, so if it is that much of a problem for you then don't let DS stay there any more.

NIL - she is old and old people say things like that. Just let it slide.

I'm not really of the school of thought that just because childcare is free you need to accept it in whatever form it comes. That said, (and I don't want to trivialise what's going on in your family, because it obviously bothers you) I don't think your issues with your FIL are necessarily a massive deal. He probably doesn't see it as undermining, I think it's just a GP thing. They've been the bad guys with the discipline with their own DCs, now they get to be the doting GPs and they don't want to be the bad guys. Not a really good way of putting it, but hopefully YGWIM! Personally, I wouldn't bother saying anything unless it starts to become a huge problem. And even then I would think it's up to your DH to deal with it (better coming from his DS than DIL maybe?).

As for the NIL comment, and on your behalf. But unfortunately, some elderly people, as lovely as they are, are also batshit crazy at times, with no understanding of how offensive their words can be.

Ur right i think i will just let it go tbh.

Not worth the agro