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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think DP should just resign ? :(

23 replies

LoisWillkerson · 01/09/2010 16:38

Honstly the man never cries but has just rang me close to tears because he just got threatened at work again.
He is only working this shitty job so he can fit it in around my hours and college.
I am so fed up of him getting abused by fucking idiots moaning at him because the queue is too long as though it is his fault when managment refuse to put more staff on I mean one person serving for a company that has a customer every twenty seconds.
What makes it worse is that he is getting threatend and shouted at everyday and when he rings for help no fucker comes.

I am so scared he is going to get depressed or hurt :(.

OP posts:

pjmama · 01/09/2010 16:39

No job is worth taking that kind of abuse, poor bloke! Resign, resign, resign.

GetOrfMoiLand · 01/09/2010 16:40

Oh poor you (and him).

What bloody company does he work for? Sounds hell. What kind of work does he do? Can he easily get anotehr job?

KarmaAngel · 01/09/2010 16:40

Poor bloke. When I worked in retail I was almost suicidal. Resign!

xstitch · 01/09/2010 16:42

Its difficult to resign in the current climate. Does he have a union that could help him raise issues with what has been happening.

My heart goes out to you, its horrible when you or a loved one is threatened at work and have to just take it? :(

violethill · 01/09/2010 16:42

Is he in a union?

Everyone has the right to be protected from abuse, including threats, in their workplace.

He needs to get some professional advice so he has support to confront his managers over their appalling practices.

Short term maybe go to GP and get signed off? If things are this bad, he shouldn't be at work. And he shouldnt feel guilty about taking some time off for stress.

Longer term - move heaven and earth to find something better. It's not worth the advantages of fitting around your work hours and college if the downside is having to work in this environment. It just isn't worth it. Better to use childcare if that's the issue, rather than make himself ill fitting around your job,

goingtodoit · 01/09/2010 16:43

What does he do?

I used to work as a receptionist in a hospital outpatients clinic and would get shouted at everyday as the dr's were always running late!

Original poster

LoisWillkerson · 01/09/2010 16:43

sorry feeding baby can't type will reply in a bit.

OP posts:

OTTMummA · 01/09/2010 16:43

tell him to walk off to find someone/go to the toilet when they don't respond.
they will soon learn to have someone near by to help.

I work in customer service, and i love it, but i have balls bigger than most men and i don't take any kind of crap.
I have seen my past regional manager ( 6,2 and ex police officer) cry after dealing with a customer. I think it takes a different tempermant to laugh it off.

If they don't help out soon, tell him to leave, it will only get worse.

lifeas3plus1 · 01/09/2010 16:43

I agree with pjmama.

No job is worth that stress.

Can you live on just your income until he can find something else? Although saying that if I or dp was that unhappy in a job then we we would make do with what we had than stay in a job that will make us spiral into depression.

Plan carefully and tell him to get out of there!

Original poster

LoisWillkerson · 01/09/2010 16:46

I don't really want to name the company but it is a high street chain and very well known.

I have told him to get signed off but he seems to think this will mean no sick pay as he only works 20 hours.

H has always worked in retail and I have never seen him like this he is so quiet and is really snappy and moody when he is due to start work.

I have some letters about a union so h may be in it but I have just googled the comapany and loads of people are moaning about the same issues.

I don't want him to go in tomorrow.

OP posts:

Original poster

LoisWillkerson · 01/09/2010 16:48

He is usually so happy when he is at work though he has had peopl complimenting him and letters sent to his workplace but this company ar evil honestly is sounds like a sweatshop.

OP posts:

Original poster

LoisWillkerson · 01/09/2010 16:49

We could survive if he didn't work but he is a worrier and hates not working I don't know what else to say to him to make him believe we will be ok.

I want my happy bloke back and the dc want a happy Daddy.

OP posts:

ChippingIn · 01/09/2010 17:53

If you can survive without him working tell him to call in sick tomorrow, go to the Drs, get signed off with stress and 'work his notice out' while signed off.

It is not worth it.

Tell him you will help him look for something else & that you love him too much for him to carry on like this!

Original poster

LoisWillkerson · 01/09/2010 18:05

Chipping in thanks I will tell him he looks really wiped out.

OP posts:

ChippingIn · 01/09/2010 20:35

Is he home yet? How's he feeling? I hope you manage to convince him it's just not worth it!

scouserabroad · 01/09/2010 21:03

If you can survive without his wage, tell him to quit ! And I speak as someone whose DH quit his job for a lot less than what your DH has to put up with. A job is just not worth getting this depressed for and it will prob damage his self confidence too, making it harder to move on later.

Original poster

LoisWillkerson · 02/09/2010 08:26

He is going to work :(.
I have tried to get him to go to Dr's and showed him that we will manage but he is going in.

OP posts:

Litchick · 02/09/2010 08:52

Why oh why do people abuse shop workers etc?

Yesterday I was in Timpsons and some vile woman was shrieking at the assistant because her boots would be costly to repair.
'Twenty fucking quid. Are you having a laugh?'
I mean, does she think he sets the prices? Does she think he'll say, 'Right then how about ten?'
Honestly.

ChippingIn · 04/09/2010 08:12

Lois - how is he now? Maybe you can get him to 'see the light' over the weekend :(

taintedpaint · 04/09/2010 14:33

Not that this is much consolation, but I've worked for an expensive women's clothes shop before and the abuse I got there was just incredible (and for the most minor things, nothing I had done wrong). I spent two years there, two very miserable years. Just goes to show, money doesn't buy manners. I don't think I could go back to retail now solely because of that place.

I admire your DP for going into work even when he's being made to feel like this. He is obviously a hard worker with a good work ethic. He shouldn't have to put up with this shit though.

MumInBeds · 04/09/2010 14:46

Is he applying for other work? It's always easier to find a job if you are already working (relatively speaking!)so if he thinks he wants out of this job his prospects are better if he applies for other things now rather than quitting then looking.

nannynick · 04/09/2010 14:51

Boxing day was horrible to work, when I worked in retail.

Sounds like your DH is having boxing day type queues everyday... it sounds horrible.

I was made redundant 7 years ago... looking back it was a good thing. I now do a job I love, which gives me a reasonable lifestyle...though future prospects are limited.

Not sure I could stand working in retail again. Your DH is doing very well to keep on being motivated enough to go to work.

Alas no real advice to give... though perhaps suggest he looks at other things, something related to a hobby perhaps.

PinkFuschia · 04/09/2010 20:15

Has DH talked to management about the threats from customers or the stress he is suffering because of these threats and the fact that he is left on his own to cope with huge queues of people? It might be that they are totally unaware of how stressful he is finding the situation

He should make sure that any conversations he has with management are on the record and documented so that, if he does have to take time off with stress or has to bring in the union, there is a paper trail and management doesn't say that this came out of the blue. Some companies can be bastards, and he needs to cover his arse.

I've worked in retail forever and love my job, although I got a stream of abuse from a total knob tonight when I wouldn't let him into my shop when I was locking up fifteen minutes after we had closed. Arse!

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