to have found this strange house styling technique hilarious?

[chaostrulyreigns]

Went to view a house with a friend at 5 o'clock on friday.

Her dining table was set up with crockery for 6 and there was a lovely smell of some sort of meaty dish cooking, so we assumed she was expecting guests.

Went for second visit this afternoon (her DH working away so I'm helping her pick) - table was still set up, so we worked out it was all for HyacinthBucketEffect.

Man, we got uncontrollable giggles, stifling them just resulted in us snortingand desperately trying to avoid eye contact.

Now putting a dinner service as gorgeous as <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=common.csnstores.com/common/products/FRA/FRA1049_l.jpg&imgrefurl=cookware.guidestobuy.com/cookware-essentials/franciscan-apple-28-piece-dinnerware-set/&usg=__Up7iVasduWu7eDC9gvIoxORJUCA=&h=450&w=450&sz=68&hl=en&start=186&zoom=1&tbnid=ekSY3tgFzhH1jM:&tbnh=111&tbnw=125&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dfruit%2Bdinnerware%2Bsets%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26rlz%3D1T4HPNN_enGB359GB359%26biw%3D1106%26bih%3D533%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C3881&um=1&itbs=1&ei=G3B9TNH1M8KSjAfOm9zSDg&biw=1106&bih=533&iact=rc&dur=328&oei=8299TMCUGJXNjAf6u6TTDg&esq=10&page=10&ndsp=19&ved=1t:429,r:18,s:186&tx=75&ty=73" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this all set up for a dinner party is not going to be the thing that clinches the sale is it?

What tactics have you witnessed that have made you giggle?

I agree it's a bit weird, and I would have laughed at it. But then, when viewing flats to rent I saw some pretty horrific things: there was one flat where it was an absolute tip (they were in the process of packing) but ... there were skid marks on the toilet and the place was filthy. Then, there was another flat (again, absolute tip) and the tenant kept on pointing at random bits of their furniture and saying "you can buy it! £10 for the chair, £30 for the bookcase" etc. etc. Didn't take either of those flats, surprisingly.

However, one flat I was living in was a mess for a lot of viewings, because freaking FOXTONS kept on turning up with only five minutes notice. The worst was a Sunday morning, I was happily pottering about in PJs thinking about making breakfast and reading the paper, when lo and behold, two bloody Foxtons agents turned up on my doorstep and said "do you mind going out in about ten minutes? The flat is going to be an open house today". They hadn't bothered to tell me at all, so I went mental at them, and they finally agreed to cancel it. Then there was the time the stupid agent left me an answerphone message saying "I'll be there in five minutes", and I had to physically barricade the door, pointing out it was a religious holiday, and I didn't want Foxtons agents crawling through the apartment. He then told me to stop being unreasonable as he'd told me (five minutes before) that he was coming, and the person wanted to view the flat. I told him to fuck off.

Thing is, if you're gonna buy the house, it doesn't matter of someone was dismantling a motorbike in the living room or had the table laid out beautifully does it? Because once you buy it you're gonna move in to an empty house, none of that atuff will still be there.

Fortunately, I now know that agents/landlords etc. are legally obliged to give you at least 24 hours notice before entering a property, and this is something I stick to, otherwise they end up taking the piss.

Doesn't whatsername, the House Doctor, say you should lay the table to show people that it is a dining room? Ann Maurice, that's what she's called.

One place we looked at had a cookery book stand in the kitchen with a poncy cookery book open on it. I thought "ooh they must be having a dinner party tonight, wonder what they are having," but twas only later that I realised it was probably just to look nice.

Haven't seen many awful ones, most disappointments have been Estate Agents' fault. There was one which had a "Conservatory" which was just part of the patio between the kitchen wall, the lounge wall and the shed roofed over in corrugated plastic where the dogs slept. And we needed a house with a downstairs loo, we always stressed because disabled MIL couldn't manage stairs when she came to visit and frequently were sent to view houses with downstairs loos and ten steep steps up or down to the house itself. Which we then viewed out of politeness knowing that they were total non-starters and felt terrible for the poor hopeful vendors who had gone to all that trouble to tidy up.

I like the 'laid for a dinner party' idea - it'll make you (and by you I mean easily-influenced prospective buyers) imagine all the lovely dinner parties you could have :)

While we're on dodgy sales techniques, my favourite was a friend of mine who sold his house at the (relatively high) asking price to someone who was relocating from 200 miles away in a hurry, went into one estate agent and pretty much offered on the first house he saw.

My friend mentioned that they were willing to sell some rather heavy furniture and the guy agreed to bring his wife to look at it the next week. The day before he came, the house next door went on the market for about 20% less.

Next morning my friend watched the neighbour leave the house, uprooted their For Sale sign and hid it in his garden...

We also viewed one flat where the previous tenant had been kicked out for not paying the rent for three months. The flat was full of electronic equipment e.g. PS3 and wii, three TVs, two laptops in living room, another TV in bedroom, DVD players etc. etc. and the previous tenants clothes, bags EVERYTHING still in the flat. It was crazy. Naturally DP asked if all the electronic stuff was staying

Oh god I had forgotten about the period knickers soaking in the bathroom sink of one flat I went to look at :(

I had fresh flowers everywhere when my flat was on the market but that was it. I did paint the walls of the sunken bit outside my bedroom window white but only as far as you can actually see out of the window. I was praying that no one went into the front garden to peer into it :o

sellranch.com/?b=54 I think YABU, she wasn't doing it to impress friends she was trying to sell her house. And good smells sell houses.

Overmydeadbody/Thing is, if you're gonna buy the house, it doesn't matter of someone was dismantling a motorbike in the living room or had the table laid out beautifully does it? Because once you buy it you're gonna move in to an empty house, none of that atuff will still be there.

I agree with you up to a point re. the motorbike not being there when you actually take posession of the house; but what it does is to imply is a bad attitude, a lack of effort, which doesnt bode well for a smoothe sale.

sanielle I know that she did it as a persuasive selling technique - I just found it very funny as it was hardly goibg to be the deciding factor on whether to purchase! Mist people are aware they areg purchasing bricks and mortar and not objets d'art tastefully and aspirationally displayed. So I don't
really think IWBU to find it a tad amusing.

One house we saw had (gay) soft porn pictures all over the place, an entire room devoted to different types of black leather boots and a bed with handcuffs at each of the 4 corner posts. Estate agent desperately stifling laughter and dh desperately pointing out other 'far more interesting' things to 9 and 7 year old dcs!

We bought it

chaos it was one of those "tripod" type tents- with 3 'arms'... 2 were presumably bedrooms, but the third had the window open, and inside was set up a table, 4 chairs, full dinner service and candle sticks
Was tres bizarre!
(this was just a normal site in Somerset, not in France or anything )

I saw a house and this guy (who was ODD) had some sort of religious people over (called each other brother - and was a bit cult like - tried to give me and mum and dad leaflets and spent about 10 mins talking to dad asking if he wanted to go to their "church"!)

Anyhow - went to try and look at bathroom - and one of the guys was in there (door unlocked!) so i walked in and then said sorry adn walked out... and then 5 mins later - he said, you can look now - and it STUNK! We were out of there sharpish!

But - my mum used to do the whole "dressing" the house thing when she sold houses - bread in oven, kids (me and brother) playing nicely on swings in garden - or colouring. She had to bribe us of course.... :)

It's funny though, we all know we buy bricks and mortar, but I bet lots of people also think they get a 'feel' about a house that they want/don't want and perhaps the house-dressing stuff contributes to that.

If a house is a tip it does make everything look small and cramped, and it's harder to visualise your own stuff in there if you can hardly see the floor/walls.

Or is it just me?

D

we viewed a house where there was a full length nude picture of the lady showing us around on the bedroom wall. Strangely enough the my DH didn't notice!

People on our estste are selling a house where the ensuite and the master bedroom have benn knocked into one room so you can lie in bed and watch (smell) your beloved on the loo. I find this a little odd

It's an American thing - its House Staging (I Live in the US). House staging is a multi million $$ business and its everywhere, people put all their furniture in storage and rent fancy stuff to make their house look posh

They also spend ages painting and gardening, to ensure good first impression and curb appeal. They also tell you to take all photos etc down so buyers can see themselves in the house, and not think of it as your house.

Very odd.

Maybe that's where she got the idea from GenerationX?

Still giggling though.

Most new houses have the tables set up, It looks ok in that setting, I think.

I think the black roomed house was the worst one we've seen. The saddest thing is that the couple were really keen to sell and really friendly. But the upstairs was black. Ceilings too.

DH and I went to view what could have been a beautiful period townhouse. There were no details and we were warned that there were currently tenants in the house.

The place was a dive...not a single clean surface in the kitchen, empty cans, bottles and take away cartons everywhere, the stench of weed was overpowering, cigarettes stubbed out on every available surface and washing up in the main bathroom.

We couldn't view two of the bedrooms: one was jammed shut and on entering the other the Estate Agent was told very firmly to F off. At 2 in the afternoon.

It was on for only 20k less than a similar fully refurbed house we'd seen and on the way out we were informed that it was "asking price offers and above only"

Having just gone through the hell of house selling/buying recently, the way some people choose to live blows my mind. I'm no clean freak but ffs, how much effort is it to tidy up. A few days after we'd moved in to our new house, there was stuff everywhere, some of it still in boxes, but it was still tidier than some of the places we'd viewed.

Sadly, most of the people living in these conditions look totally depressed.

I like to think I'm ok at seeing past dressing. Our flat had been a rental property for twenty years when we bought it, and it was a real state. (But because it hadn't been touched for years all the original Victorian features were hidden behind partition walls and the like - hoorah).

However, in the run-up to finding our place, I viewed five - count 'em - properties that STANK of wee.

Not just the toilets either - every room.

What were these people doing?

We viewed one house with:

1. a parrot trained to say Fuck Off in the dining area
2. the house dog corralled in the next door's garden, chewing meaningfully at the fence in between snarls, because the owner said it wasn't safe to have it around viewers
3. fusedfilm.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/gremlinsstripe.jpg model, the size of a 5 year old child and the pride and joy of the lighting technician who'd worked on the movie, on a shelf, central in sitting room. I nearly died of shock, having only recently recovered from the hound of the baskervilles
4. a dark blue painted teenage boy's bedroom which smelt entirely of spunk
5. a black bathroom.

And we bought it. And the bathroom is still black due to unforseen circs. Rest is long gone.

Home sweet home.