To snap at my MIL

[bebesequin]

Long story but had day from hell very busy just now with a wedding this w/e -work f/t etc also premenstrual.

MIL returns son home tonight and shows me his new school shoes worn for 4 days toes really scruffed- I sighed and said 'oh yes and they cost £xx' - she then says 'oh you need to take them back' I replied loudly and sharply 'I am a little busy right now'
Knowing full well DS had scruffed shoes himself playing football and there isn't a quality issue
She then repeated that the shoes needed to be returned-I again probaly too sharply said I am really busy-sorry but I don't think she has any idea how busy I am

I feel bad now but after bad day was at point of tears- oh and I have words with DS re care of said shoes.

Well yes, you are, it wasn't her fault you had a bad day and she was only trying to help. But it's hardly the crime of the century, a quick text/call to apologise and you're grand.

Why didn't you just say 'no he scuffed them playing football so its his fault'?

just ring her and say sorry for snapping, nightmare day, really busy, lots going on.

but why on earth did she think the shop would take them back after being worn for 4 days?

YABU to snap but do know how it feels to have MIL who just doesn't register what you tell her!

Had to chuck entire jar of honey in the bin once just so mil would actually get the message I was totally serious that DD then aged 4 months wasn't to have any in her bottle.

You sound exhausted. Take it as a warning to make some time for you to de-stress, even if you have to call in friends/family to babysit or do some running around for you. Otherwise you're likely to end up sobbing hysterically because the on-line shopping's turned up and they've substituted your your washing up liquid and you wanted the purple one.

daft for sending him to stay with MIL in brand new shoes IMO.

You do sound pissed off. Give your MIL a break though

why is it daft to wear brand new shoes at the MIL's?

Did she know he´d scuffed them playing football?

If not, why not just tell her?

Otherwise how is she to know that you actually can´t take them back & that your being busy is actually neither here nor there!

Oh I just meant that if I sent DS to MIL then I'd send him in old shoes as they're out and about all over the place and new shoes would get wrecked.

I didn't get that he had been staying with MIL - just that she dropped him off.

Oh feel so much better now- just to clarify DS had been to school MIL had collected him.She felt the shoes were poor quality hence the need to be returned!IE dizzy daughter in law has spent tons of money on poor quality shoes-Sorry to rant-feeling better today.

Why would she think "dizzy dil"?

TBH she is correct in her thinking that if they are so scuffed so quickly then they are poor quality & you should get a refund.

Unfortunately I don´t think that that applies when it has been caused by playing football!

Did you apologise at all?

'MIL returns son home tonight'

Right there is why you are being totally out of order. The woman was doing you a favour god damn it! It's not het fault that your ds scuffed his shoes, you have a wedding to attend (how tragic for you) and that you are busy! Think yourself lucky she is there to help. I'd tell you to ram your scuffed shoes up your unreasonable arse if I'm honest!

Not your MIL's fault and presumably she was helping you out by having him for the afternoon. Talk about making her feel unwelcome and like she's not entitled to open her mouth. I know you regret it now but I think you owe her an apology.

Oh gee thanks (?!)

Mils do get a raw deal on MN ...

Yes YABU to bite the hand that feeds (and loves) your son, I'd say.

In no other context would somebody saying 'you should take them back' be taken as some kind of insult or provocation than by a defensive DIL on here.

Out in RL this is just normal chit chat, thank god.

Least said soonest mended I'd say, let it slide and don't take out your tiredness on her next time.