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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by breastfeeding camapigner's tactics?

95 replies

ibangthedrums · 31/08/2010 16:19

Yesterday I went to a community family fun day. It was a huge, busy event with funfair etc. One of the stalls was a breastfeeding campaign group. All good so far!

I was stood by the stall for a few mins waiting for DS1 to have his face painted so was able to watch them. They were really quiet but only method I saw them use was to ask older (school age) children if they were breastfed.

The only ones I saw, had to ask their Mum and it so happened they were. The lady then said "well done" and gave them a pack of pencils as a reward.

The more I think about this, the more it bugs me. The children have no control over how they were fed. If they had said no, I wonder what the woman may have done. Give them pencils to make up for it?! Perhaps the mother ought to have got the pack of pencils!

I know it must be hard to reach people, but surely mums with little babies, pregnant women or just adults are more of a target audience than young children?! BF does need to be promoted and people need all the help they can get. These sort of tactics however, will surely not reach those that need it and actually turn alot people off who are struggling.

OP posts:
Vallhala · 31/08/2010 17:52

"Vallhala :o - you'd be an anomaly in the resarch then."

Story of my life, NL, story of my life. :o

sarah293 · 31/08/2010 18:06

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Message withdrawn

DreamsInBinary · 31/08/2010 18:07

But did you still around long enough to actually hear what she said to the non-bf children? It's equally likely she smiled, said "well done" for answering the question and gave them pencils too.

You are only assuming she would punish the children for the way they were fed.

bamboostalks · 31/08/2010 18:09

Did she refuse pencils to those that weren't bf. I find it difficult to imagine this tbh.

sarah293 · 31/08/2010 18:12

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Message withdrawn

Minxie1977 · 31/08/2010 18:17

I think YABU as you don't know whether they gave the pencils to all children - the 'well done' & reward could have been for asking mum the question. May have been doing market research.

If it was for BF children only Shock

TheButterflyEffect · 31/08/2010 18:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pigletmania · 31/08/2010 18:23

Bit Hmm asking children how they were fed at a fun day. Education should be done within schools like Sex Ed is. What if your ds had no idea or was not bf then he does not get a reward Hmm.

TheButterflyEffect · 31/08/2010 18:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pigletmania · 31/08/2010 18:35

Fine but there reward thing Hmm. If all childre whether bf or not are getting the pencils than thats fine, but its not right for just the bf children.

Original poster
ibangthedrums · 31/08/2010 19:15

I didn't see her talk to any children who weren't bf, I can only hope they go the pencils too. It is how she would have replied that worries me as "yes" was so obviously the right answer to her question and children aren't stupid. What could she say that would't make it seem like they had done something wrong.

I can't remember the name - is there a breastfeeding league (not la leche). The woman's t shirt was purple if that helps. It is only as the day went on that it really started to get to me so didn't take in all the details at the time.

The stall was clearly aimed at children I think as it was in the under 5s fun tent which had animals, ball pit, sensory area etc. The stall also had cuddly toys aimed at bf (a car with kittens "latched" on with velcro).

OP posts:
horatia · 31/08/2010 19:22

YANBU. It's none of their business. How dare they ask this of children, with the potential to make them feel bad if they don't give the "right" answer Angry

lolapoppins · 31/08/2010 19:30

Lol at the cat with kittens latched on cuddly toy.

'cos you see so many cats who bottle feed, don't you Grin

Things like that just bug me. It none of anyones business that I chose to formula feed my ds, and no amount of free pencils or seeing stupid cuddly toys as a young child would have made me grow up to be swayed any other way (and I was bf till I was two for the record!).

Firawla · 31/08/2010 19:40

This is ridiculous, has to be the strangest tactic I have heard
But i am wondering how are they defining a breast fed child anyway, if they have been fed for 1 or 2 months then bottle fed are they supposed to say yes or no?? Not that it really matters I suppose but wouldn't even know whether to tell my dc yes or no

littlebrownmouse · 31/08/2010 19:57

I'm impressed that you didn't see anyone who wasn't breast fed. Where I live, you'd have to ask hundreds of people, search high and low and use a loud hailer to find the one child who maybe had a sniff of a nipple some time in their first week of life, frankly. Appart from me and my middle class mummy friends who also don't smoke, take drugs or sit small babies in front of million inch tellies all day long. Want -to -do -sad -face -but -don't- know-how- on-I-phone- emoticon. Before you slate me for having classist, judgy views, I had terrible trouble with DS and only breast fed him for 6 weeks, but I never uttered the phrase 'it freaks me out' or 'i'm not having a baby sucking my boobs and spoiling them'
So, in conclusion, you're not being u reasonable but I think the visitors to the fair should be given a round of applause for not recoiling in horror when the 'bf' word was mentioned.

pigletmania · 31/08/2010 19:59

Agree with horatia, they are asking very personal intrusive questions of children. Its non of their blooming business, there is Education and there is overstepping the mark and this is it imop.

pigletmania · 31/08/2010 20:02

Yes littlebrownmouse i had to stop bf as dd was not taking to it and loosing weight quite fast. She just did not want to work for her food, even when we switched to bottle we had to put a hole in so that it would drain into her mouth, we had to be really careful due to choking though. She just did not want to suck.

pigletmania · 31/08/2010 20:04

Asking if the child if they were bf does not have much to do with education imo, what can they do about it at this late stage. It was the under 5s tent so the children might have been young children.

Snobear4000 · 31/08/2010 20:04

Here we go...

massivehead · 31/08/2010 20:07

what did they do with the bottle fed kids?Confused

littlebrownmouse · 31/08/2010 20:11

Don't want to start ff bf row and reading post back it may come across that way. I'm just amazed that in a few minutes she found any bf children, never mind only breast fed children.

MillyR · 31/08/2010 20:12

Was it a novelty pack of pencils? Did they have a breastfeeding logo on them?

booyhoo · 31/08/2010 20:14

littlebrownmouse that has to be the best justification for being classist i have ever read.

you didn't say "it freaks me out" so that makes you middle class??Hmm

littlebrownmouse · 31/08/2010 20:14

Did they have two rubbers on the top like a pair of miniature bosoms?

littlebrownmouse · 31/08/2010 20:23

That's not what I said or meant! I live in an area of high social deprivation. Breast feeding rates at birth are the lowest in the country and almost all confined to women who live in the suburbs and villages and would be seen as middle class. I can only comment on my situation. Midwife friend despairs of mothers choosing not to breast feed because The Sun culture which prevails has said boobs are to pleasure men and to make women look good. No wonder breast feeding is seen as 'freakish'. I'm middle class cos of my education and profession, not because of my feelings that my boobs are there to feed a baby and this is in no way dirty, freakish or sexual.