To be annoyed with this member of bar staff?

[unfitmother]

I was at a private family function last week. DD was running round shrieking playing nicely outside with the other children, the venue was chosen due to safe outside space.
DD (aged 9) came in crying as she'd fallen over, grazes to knee visable as she was in a dress. The bar staff came running over and was quicker than me, who had been drinking. (DH was there as designated driver/sober parent).
We took DD to the Ladies and I was calmly trying to clean DD's grazes but this bar staff was really pandering to her and getting her more worked up. When I (or rather she) had finnished she picked DD, who's nearly 10, up and carried her back to the bar! I heard DD saying "I want Mum" and kept close.
Barmaid then applied a plaster (I was so pissed off that my first aid kit was in my other bag) and I thanked her whilst thinking she was a loon.
I then saw her giving DD a coke.
On reflection I think she was out of order not just for smothering someone else's child when they were present but many people aren't allowed or can't have fizzy drinks.
AIB ungrateful or was she a loon?

I'm very sorry to hear that.
Hope you feel better soon, you could have done without that mauling.

well - she was obviously one of these -'qualified first aider' types. I worked at an A&E department for many years and the paramedics often came in from a call and regaled us with tales of having to practically physically drag the 'qualified first aider' on site away from the patient so they could assess/treat them.
YANBcompletelyU - some people can be a little overzealous - I mean you were trying to play down the grazed knee - as most parents would to calm the child down and she was playing it up ?? Then to further feed the childs imagination that she has a serious leg injury - so bad in fact that she cant walk, she carries her-I'd have asked her is she'd forgotten her cape

at my mothers funeral wake I wanted to go upstairs and crawl into bed and sleep, I was 7 months pg and on my own with dd1, I hadn't slept the night my mum died as sat wth her all night and dad sent me home to my dd 9ex was lookign after her) I felt awful and didn't sleep most of the week before the funeral - let alone look aftwer dd1 wo was 6 if she fell over. dd1 was polisshing peoples shoes and charging them 31 a go for the poor people in africa - she raised the most for the school fund and I didn't like to tell the teachers she had hoodwinked vulneralbe peopel at a wake

i can't imagine doing it all again and unfit mother - my mum told me in hosptial that the definiton of an unfit mother is leaving your child with soemone who is unable to look after her/him - that isn't waht you did is you
take care of yourself it is a hard time

Sorry about your mum, by the way

sorry about your mum.posters respond to posts and info laid out.in op you didnt allude to fact you had buried your mum.based on the facts you posted people inc me responded

had you posted im having shitty day,mums funeral and to top it all my dd fell... youd have had v different responses

Tsc - thats a WHOLE other aibu

Unfitmother, sorry to hear about your mum, Look after yourself (that includes no more aibu threads!) x

YABU a sober person took care of your child who was hurt, you should be thankful

"i'd be more hmm about the first aider putting a plaster on her than the giving her the cock."

Ooo-er!

I agree with Sudo, sounds like this lady was enjoying a bit of drama and a break from serving drinks! You don't say how old she was but maybe she has strong maternal urges or grandchildren she doesn't see very often and seized the opportunity to fuss over a child.

I would help any child who was hurt or in distress but, once their parents arrived, I'd back off and let them take over, unless they genuinely needed another adult's help, ie a more serious situation than grazed knees.

I can't imagine picking up and carrying someone else's 9 year old (my 10 year old would be mortified if someone picked her up!) and, if a parent was right there, would always check with them before giving food or drink to a child I didn't know.

Sound like she meant well (and perhaps could see you were upset and genuinely thought she was helping by taking over) but YANBU to have found it all a bit strange and OTT.

Sorry about your mum :(

OMG she was being nice to your hurt child and giving her a drink...call the police!

however I am sorry about your mum OF COURSE.

(serves me right for answering having just read first page eh!)

seriously, I don't think she meant any harm though!

The barmaid sounds great, she should look after me when I fall over at the pub.

...and me, but I would have wanted vodka in my coke ....

YANBU
You said thanks so you weren't ungrateful.
The barmaid sounds like a right weirdo though - what 10-year-old wants to be carried???
I also hate it when people pretend you aren't there and try and parent your child. Fair enough if you were on the loo or something but while you're standing there it's odd that someone would do that. I also hate it when my LO falls over and other people going on about it make her cry for about 10x longer than if she was just left to me.
Can't believe people are saying YABU tbh. Would other people be OK with a stranger picking up their child and walking off? I know I wouldn't!
Sorry to hear about your mum x

The barmaid would have known who you and your daughter were. If it had been me I would have made sure your daughter was ok and with a responsible adult and offered a first aid kit. I would not have touched your child without you asking me to perform first aid. I probably would have asked you if you both wanted something to eat or drink and left you alone, letting you know to come and find me if you needed something.