to think DH is selfish and DC NEEDS to sleep?

[tryingtobemarypoppins2]

DS is almost 3 and has a daily nap after lunch whilst can last up to 3 hours. He gets really clumsy, behaviour starts to slip etc just before his nap and is vile if he hasn't slept.

Now I understands why DH finds this frustrating....days out are well, mornings out. Today he just wouldn't listen to me when I said look we really need to leave now. DS was getting a bit wild and not listening, next thing you know DH tells him off and DS has a major tantrum. Trip out ends badly.

DH and MIL both think this afternoon sleep is "mad at his age".....along with "potty training should have been done last year" type statements. DS is now potty trained but just can not cope without a day sleep and I think DH and MIL need to remember I am at home with my children all week and I know how lack of sleep builds up and leds to stress!

A little part of me is a bit worried it may be unusual though.....AIBU?

sloanypony - youngest 2yr grabs her sleep where she can and has always slept in car on a tuesday as busy doing tumbletots/school/tennis with odler 2

they survive without sleep or less sleep, tho its often the adult who miss's their hr of peace to mn do housework

OP - no, you dont need to take a nappy - just take a change of clothes and a disposable change mat to put under him in the buggy and make sure he's been for a wee before he goes in the buggy. He should be fine.

Yes try cutting the naps to 1.5 hours then phase them out gradually. Mabey he gets grumpy because he needs something to eat like low blood sugar so try a drink ad a biscuit or two. My dd napped for 2 hours each day until nearly 3, she dropped them o her own and she slept much better during the night so i am pleased.

one of mine kept a long nap right up til starting reception

yy to taking a change of clothes and napping in the buggy

You can't compare children, though - they each need a different amount of sleep. He obviously needs more than some other children, so let him have it.

If he's asleep at 7, his daytime sleep obviously isn't too much.

As for him not eating much, don't worry about it - with all the problems with obesity now, if he just eats enough to get by, that's fine.

My mum remembers there being beds at school when she started school - I guess in around 1950.

They all lay down even if they didn't sleep but she remembers that most had a sleep.

I'm not saying that was 'the perfect way' but they are still babies really. I do feel that our culture has become desparate to make them grow up so early. If they need a nap and still sleep well at night then why not?

I think if he really needs the sleep, then let him have it (as long as he is sleeping fine in the night and not getting up too early). My DD slept 2+ hours a day until about 2.5yo and really seemed to need it, and then all of a sudden went from 2hrs to zero!

However, I don't think you can let this routine rule your life. Surely a buggy sleep once a week, if you are on a family outing, is not a huge problem. As long as he has a 45 mins or so in the buggy, can't you then just give him an earlier bedtime?

I am a routine person, as is my DD (DS has had to fit in!), but sometimes you've got to know when to chill out and go with the flow!!!

OP, you could be writing about my daughter. I really understand where you are coming from.

At almost 3 there is no way that she could have coped without a good long (couple of hours) nap. Her behaviour when she was overtired was vile, and waking her too early was a tin hat and white flag job.

If I had to wake her early I would take a snack and a drink up to her bed so she could have it straight away. That helped, but the best thing was always to just let her sleep.

And you are right to think it is unusual - I know it must be because of all the 'helpful' advice and blank looks when I explained that my almost 3yo really does still need a nap. Most people thought I was being precious and silly. I wasn't! She just needed sleep, and like most parents I am in the habit of listening to what my child needs and responding to that. It's just that once in a while your child's needs will be contrary to most people's experience and you just have to be confident about sticking to your guns when you really do know best.

My daughter was still having a long nap most days when she turned 4, and has only recently dropped naps completely (she is 4 and a half now). Although even now she has a long nap about once a week, but we are no longer tied by it.

Having read the whole thread, I really feel the need to add my two pence worth !

OP, YANBU.

DS, 3, has only just dropped his naps. From the age of one to three he had one nap of 2-2.5 hours without fail. And if he didn't have it, he was just a nightmare. Just like lots of people on the thread, I did feel like people were surprised and would keep on suggesting that I wake him early etc. I just didn't get the point of it. Why on earth would I want to wake up a toddler if he needed to sleep and it didn't affect his night sleep ?!
It was mad.

As far as the napping affecting family life goes, we just used to fit in around his routine. It's really only for such a short amount of time, we honestly didn't see it as a problem, seemed much more selfish IMO for us to stop him sleeping just so we could have an extra few hours out..."I know you're tired, but come on, enjoy yourself FGS!"
No napping is very liberating, as a few people have previously said, but long regular naps are a relatively easy/small thing to deal with in the grand scheme of all things child related !

Agree wholeheartedly that if you are at home with children all day, you know perfectly well if they need to sleep or not.

FWIW, DS also had a dreadful appetite. We started giving him liquid vitamin supplements and whether it was a coincidence or not, his appetite went crazy.

sorry but 3 hours, for a nearly 3 year old? its a bit much TBH. Cant he sleep in car or buggy?
so to structure days around it, YABU I'm afraid

StantonLacy - one of the most common side effects of anaemia (iron deficiency) is "anorexia" or the medical term for lost appetite.

Iron deficiency is still reasonably common in under 5's depending what foods the tend to favour...you never know it might have been that which was suppressing his appetite?

Interesting article here though does anyone else think that's the closest the BBC have got to endorsing a product?!?

He needs his nap, personally I'd cut it back a little and encourage buggy/car sleeps plus try to get him to eat more for his energy levels - like msot others have said. Thin PIL and your DH are being a little childish themselves here. I'd love an aft nap [wistful]

I don't think YABU - DS1 napped daily until he was over 3, and about 3-4 times a week for several months after that. He just needed it, and was vile without it. It's only recently (he's 4.6) that he has been able to get easily through a full day (even with quiet time built in after lunch) without getting crashing tired.

DS2 is still napping daily for about 1.5-2 hours, and is 2.6. I will let him nap for as long as he needs it. We do have days out - we tend to go mid-morning, and if we're driving DS2 will usually have a doze on the way there. And quite often both of them will have a doze on the way back! But I couldn't do that for more than a couple of days in a row without DS2 getting seriously cranky. And he still sometimes struggles without his proper nap.

He sleeps well at night generally, so I think it is clear he still needs the nap. It can be frustrating, as we need to get out early in order to be able to do something (an activity) and then be back in time for lunch and nap without the whole afternoon disappearing. But it won't be for ever. I'd try to tell your MIL (politely - ) to keep her beak out!

DS is 2.9 and still naps that long in the afternoons. He's just the same, starts getting clumsy and asks to go to bed. I do wake him up sometimes or he'd sleep longer. I'm not worried by it.

Luckily he can be flexible with it, sometimes he naps later and sometime earlier and it can fit in with whatever is planned for the day. He can also miss a nap some days, but will be extra tired the next day.

I don't think you are being unreasonable. Every child is different and you know what is best for your child.

Right thank-you! The nap is staying all the time he is sleeping well at night and getting up at 7am i'm not changing it! He clearly needs it, that's what he is telling me surly. Many thanks!