to be cross with DS childminder over food issue?

[StableButDeluded]

I honestly don't know whether I'm BU or not, or just being PFB as he's my only child.

Basically, DS who's nearly 5 told me out of the blue yesterday that if he's 'too slow' eating his lunch his childminder doesn't let him finish. Of course I probed casually for further info. He says that if he takes too long, she lets him eat the stuff 'that's good for you' but makes him leave the treat type things like crisps or dessert, etc. He said she pushes the 'nice' things to the side of the plate or says there's no time for his dessert-that type of thing.

Now I admit DS is a slow eater. But I feel that it is unfair of her to try to hurry him in this way. He's not slow because he's messing about, he just always seems to eat slowly. I don't like to think of him sitting eating with the other children and always being denied what they get. I don't see the need to even make an issue out of how fast he eats.

I appreciate that if they are planning to go somewhere they can't be taking ages over lunch, but I'm still not happy about it. If they know he's a slow eater, she should allow extra time. I think it's more of a problem when the CM meets up with her mum-the mum is also a CM and they often end up doing things together, which means they have quite a few children to organise. DS is a bit weepy about it.

DH is really cross about it and has said that if I don't have a word with her about it he will, but I'm not sure if we're being too PFB and should just leave it. Advice please?

It makes me so cross that we expect kids to eat quickly. Most of us eat far too quickly and it's one of the reasons for an increase in weight. It doesn't matter if he eats slowly - my DD eats slowly - always the last one at parties and one of the last at lunchtime. So what? I'm not about to make her hurry up just because it's convenient for me or other people.

Oh and she's not an only child.

The world and his dog don't always have time to wait for a very slow eater. Waiting for DS to eat will be holding all of the others up from doing something else. He will be at school soon and will only have the set time in which to eat. He needs to learn to eat more quickly. You and DH should be supporting the CM not 'having a word' - she's doing you a favour!

i wouldn't press him on trying to speed up, i was always the last one at the dinner table at school, and would often only get to eat the veg at dinner time because i was so slow everyone got fed up,
a lot of it was because i didn't like the food given to me, and some of it was just my natural eating habits.
I have gone from being underweight as a child ( referred to SS ) to being morbidly obese!
I was effectivly living on soft drinks and cigs in secondary school, because of the pressure everyone put on me to eat quicker ( usually making me sick ) so i just ended up having tid bits and then living on diet soda!

There is no reason to rush a 5yr old to eat a full meal, he will, if he is hungry eat it quicker the next time, or need a snack later on.

Sound like my dh he is a very very slow eater, will take 1 hour to eat a meal if he is malti tasking too. He says that he likes to savour and enjoy the food not woolf it down. Also the slower you eat the less weight you put on but that does not apply to ops little boy. Just have a word with your CM about it.

His meals must be stone cold, poor kid.

How have things gone this week, StablebutDeluded? Did you have a chat with the childminder, and if so, has it helped?

Oh hi, sorry, I haven't checked back to the thread. No, I didn't bother saying anything as TBH I think it won't hurt him to realise he can't always take as long as he likes. And as others have said, it will stand him in good stead for starting school (next friday)

Plus, he's not going to be with her now until the holidays, so a bit of a non-issue, really.
DS is getting a bit upset over various things in general at the moment-I think (well, I know) he is already nervous about starting Reception and this tends to translate into tearful complaints about other seemingly minor problems.

When he didn't like his new nursery (beloved old nursery was closing) we had tears every day over a different thing. One day it was because he couldn't reach his coat on the coat peg, then it was because he didn't like singing the song they always sang at lunchtime, the next day something else. He is a bit of a worrier.