My friend is already becoming a real bridezilla, constant photo sharing, talk etc. Whilst I'm not a wedding person (us and the witnesses for my wedding, ordinary clothes and a nice meal after) I smile and try to be supportive pretending I'm interested. She actually is now walking around with a bloody box file to show people everything planned so far, with a year to go.
The Hen night is the other end of the country, when my ds will only be 13 months plus obviously expensive and not my thing at all all bars, flirting etc. I don't drink and have never been to a club, let alone as part of a hen group. It's a mixture of not wanting to leave ds for the weekend (and if I do I'd rather go with dh and use money on us!) and thinking it's my idea of hell on earth what she's planning (each to their own...).
The wedding itself is bang in the middle of the school holidays, I planned to be away for the entire 6 weeks to stay with family in home country to give them time to get to know ds/ meet new-born niece of mine/ catch up. If I go to the wedding it'll give me only two weeks with family whichever side of the wedding I go taking into account flight times. It's a lot of (rare) family time to miss out on for the sake of a day. Also ds will be the only child there, in other words not child friendly but she'll make an exception. They're a real bunch for getting very pissed very quickly so not really a great place to have a baby.
She didn't come to my wedding (as I said, just 2 witnesses) nor did she get anything. If I go to hers I reckon the costs all in all could be £500-600 plus lost family time/ getting myself in vunerable situations in a strange city with drunk careless women (this has happened before drinking with them, really dumb behaviour safety wise).
She WAS my best friend, but we've drifted a bit as she moved a few years back. Basically I'm not that sure I care too much about the friendship, it was great but now she's needy, self-obsessed and (I'm being rude) a bit of a tart with her behaviour (not so much judgey about this but I'm too embarrassed to have nights outs with her anymore). Maybe it's just a down period we're going through, we have been friends since school.
She's already on and on about what we'll do, who I can sit with etc. Seems to think ds is a dolly that can be dragged around multiple venues etc. AIBU to give an excuse/ say no to going? I don't want to frankly plus it seems a lot of money/ stress for me. I don't begrudge her big wedding, I just dont want to be caught up in the expense of it. Yes she'll spend thousands, but I don't want to spend hundreds frankly on her day. I didn't ask it of people. I don't like the whole culture of expecting everyone to fork out their hard earned money, their holiday funds, on your day. I paid for everything on my day and expected nothing.
So am I reasonable or a miserable party-pooper?