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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is DH? I think that, if you have a dog, you shouldn't leave it by itself for extended periods of time?

36 replies

WhatsWrongWithYou · 28/08/2010 10:34

DH is taking DS1 and DS2 somewhere for the day, and is suggesting I go too with DD. I'd quite like to go, as we could go off and do our own thing for a few hours while they watch their match, but it would mean leaving our dog on her own for a good 6 or 7 hours.

DH says it's fine, loads of dogs get left all day and she'd just sleep and wander round the garden anyway (she has a dog flap and the garden is secure).

I seem to be the only one who holds this view, which seems ironic to me since I didn't want a dog in the first place and he did.

So, am I just being precious or is he unreasonable when he says I'm using the dog as an excuse not to do things?

OP posts:
dingdongmrs · 28/08/2010 10:37

well personally i agree with your DH, we have a dog and we dont leave it alot, but he is fine when we do. as long as its not every day, i dont think a one off would be a problem, eithe that or could you get a neighbour to check on him occasionally? or even if your neighbour would just pop and say hi once or twice?

but no i dont think it would be a problem or cruel to occasionally leave them. but its up to you at the end of the day.

Lauriefairycake · 28/08/2010 10:38

rspca recommend not longer than 4 hours.

My dog would get very lonely on his own for that length of time but it depends on the time of day I left him - if I left him 8am til 2pm he wouln't notice but I couldn't leave him in the dark as he would bark incessantly.

ShinyAndNew · 28/08/2010 10:38

So long as it's not every day, I don't see the problem tbh.

YunoYurbubson · 28/08/2010 10:41

I think that depending on the dog it may be okay as a one-off.

If she is young and bouncy and will get bored, then no.

If she is older and will most likely sleep all day, and provided she can go out for a wee, then it's an okay thing to do. Not as a regular thing though.

The fact that plenty of people leave their poor dogs to be bored and isolated day after day is not really a terribly good argument. Lots of people make bad choices every day.

Personally I probably wouldn't, particularly as it's not a necessary trip out. If I had to go out for that long, or wanted to go, I would arrange for my dog walker to take her out half way though.

BrightLightBrightLight · 28/08/2010 10:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

plasticspoon · 28/08/2010 10:50

We don't leave ours for more than four hours, unless in an emergency. They get bored, I hate the thought of her having to hold in her wee that long, and you can never tell what they might get it in their heads to do...I do recognise that I wear quite tight judgy pants on this issue but where I live (s. London) a lot of people think it's fine to leave dogs all day every day.

It's a question of world-view, I guess...(but there'd be no AIBU board fun if everyone said that!) My dh and I are both the vomit-inducing doting types who put her needs mostly on par with our own. Blush

ShinyAndNew · 28/08/2010 10:50

You could consider appointing a family/friend as a dog sitter next time? My dog goes to my Dads to torment his parrot and chew his slippers when we go out for long days. He has a jolly good time. As does the parrot. I'm not sure the slippers and my dad appreciate it much though Grin

But then my dog is as mad as a box of frogs and if we left him home for 6/7 hours he would eat our house.

Original poster
WhatsWrongWithYou · 28/08/2010 10:51

Hmm interesting - I'd hate to think I was turning into a recluse because of a dog. We do usually arrange to drop her off at my IL's if it's pre-arranged, but it can't always happen on the spur of the moment.
I think I need to cultivate a local dog-sitter to avoid being restricted like this - still have to decide whether to bugger off today though.

OP posts:
HarderToKidnap · 28/08/2010 10:51

Does she have separation amnxiety or is she generally fine to be left?
If she is OK being left generally, then on special occasions I would walk her really well before you go and leave her with a bone from the butchers. Then walk her well when you get back. She will be fine (unless she has issues with being left anyway).

My dog was left for 48 hours REGULARLY by his previous owners Angry However, it doesn't seem to have affected him and I can leave him 12 hours without a problem when I have to work a particular shift pattern (a dog walker comes in half way through the day).

Starbuck999 · 28/08/2010 10:55

Our neighbour often leaves her dog in the house for a few hours (was about 5 hrs the other day) and the yappy little bugger barks a yappy little bark the whole time whilst sticking his head out the window.

It drives me NUTS and I'm seriously considering having a word with her about it next time she does it and hopefully it's just because she doesn't realise what it's doing whilst she's out.

Original poster
WhatsWrongWithYou · 28/08/2010 11:01

She's had a good walk today and there's a few chews I could leave around for her.
I don't think she's too bad being left allthough I have heard her howling when we've returned from a family meal out at about 8.30 - that's usually when she's snuggled next to someone on the sofa.

We live in the country, and she does bark if she hears someone pass on the path behind our house, or if she's in the front garden and someone walks by. So not too much of a pest I don't think.

I just wanted to get a view as I don't know many dog owners and am not a particularly doggy person.

OP posts:
plasticspoon · 28/08/2010 11:06

Starbuck you should definitely say something - she probably doesn't know. I would be mortified if one of our neighbours said this had happened more than once (or even once really). We live in a flat and they they have my mobile number so I bloody well hope they would contact me if we had unacceptable noise levels!

HowAnnoying · 28/08/2010 11:11

YABU - the dog will be fine as a one off, especially since it has access to the garden. When we go out for longer than 6 hours we always have to get FIL to come over and let them out for a wee.

Magicmayhem · 28/08/2010 11:14

I would say it would be fine as a one off... the dog has access to the garden.
Give him a nice long walk before you go, and a kong when you leave him...
I bet he sleeps all day anyway...

SoupDragon · 28/08/2010 11:17

I'd say its fine occasionally.

Laska · 28/08/2010 11:21

I'd not leave our family dog for more than 4 hours. She might well be fine, but I don't think that it would be fair. She can't read a book, can't watch TV or entertain herself. She asks for very little other than exercise and company, and it's our duty to provide that. If we're not around then I'd make alternative arrangements.

Original poster
WhatsWrongWithYou · 28/08/2010 11:25

Thanks for the replies. They've gone now as DD didn't want to go in the end, so that solved my conundrum.

I'm glad the general consensus is that it's fine as a one-off, but it's made me think I should definitely find a local dog-walker.

OP posts:
UndomesticHousewife · 28/08/2010 11:31

I have a dog and I am home all day and don't realyy leave her. I don't think it's great for the dog to be left every day for long periods but every now and then it won't do any harm in my opinion otherwise you will turn into a recluse who cannot go further than the corner shop because of dog.

Give it a really good run to exhaust it before you go and something to do and it will be fine. The fact that it's got garden access is brilliant so I wouldn't worry.

It's very nice that you think of the dog like this, many people would just bugger off for the night.

wouldliketoknow · 28/08/2010 11:34

for the future, as you already sort the problem this time... i think is ok for a while unless the dog is gonna feel desperate, you know your dog...
i don't think is fine to leave a dog alone all day every day, that is why we don't have a dog, we both work all day and nobody has time to walk him properly, ...
you sound really responsible, go with your heart

hatwoman · 28/08/2010 11:43

i think it's fine - as a one off. good walk before you go, as others have said. also, leave a radio on and leave some chews/treats. personally I wouldn't leave a bone as I would worry about splinters. I would leave some interestingly shaped hide chews smeared with something tasty - peanut butter is a good one. get it into the nooks and crannies of a shoe-shaped hide chew and/or put some treats inside a kong and and it'll keep her amused for ages.

hatwoman · 28/08/2010 11:44

derrr - just saw you changed your plans.

TrillianAstra · 28/08/2010 11:49

6 or 7 hours sounds fine to me, especially since the dog has the house and garden (so no worries about extreme weather or toileting).

Original poster
WhatsWrongWithYou · 28/08/2010 11:52

Well, I have, but your comments are really useful as I hadn't thought about the hide shoe thing - she'd love that, especially since, if she has a kong, the first thing she does is trot out with it into the garden and it's never seen again.

I've got a lovely warm feeling now as people are saying nice things - thanks all Smile.

OP posts:
SouthMum · 28/08/2010 12:16

Id say yabu but it does depend on the dog. Ours is left for 5 - 9 hours on a regular basis and doesnt care. Infact if you dare to come home early she looks as if you have ruined her 'me' time Hmm

nightshade · 28/08/2010 19:17

my dog behaviourist recommends that they SHOULD be left for approx. 4hours evryday, as continual company breeds separation anxiety.

mine is regularly left in his run for about this time, on occasion up to six.

his behaviour difficulties have decreased as a result.

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