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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to go to DD's birthday meal because I want to watch the Grand Prix instead?

29 replies

muggglewump · 27/08/2010 17:13

Just that really.
It's a family meal and my family are all knobbers, and it's the Belgian Grand Prix, anyone who watches will that it is the Grand Prix, and I have to go to a meal with knobbers and pretend to be having a good time.

It wasn't so bad when I thought my ex-SIL was coming with my nephew, I like her, she's down to earth and a good laugh, but it turns out my current SIL is coming with my brother and nephew.

My Dad will moan about everything and nothing, and I'll get cross with all of them for never calling me, even though I was really ill earlier this year.

I'll come home with jaw ache from all the fake smiling, and then more than likely, my crap old PC will crash when I try to watch the Grand Prix on IPlayer.

I don't want to goSad

OP posts:
sorrento56 · 27/08/2010 17:17

So why do it? Have a party at home for your dd and her friends/family who she wants. Her day. It will be spoilt by having people there who will moan and rather be at home watching tv.

musicmadness · 27/08/2010 17:19

not unreasonable to WANT to watch the grand prix instead, but surely your DD would be upset if you didn't turn up to her birthday meal, so i think it would be unreasonable if you actually did miss it. Could you invite one of your friends along as well so at least you have someone you like to talk to?

Original poster
muggglewump · 27/08/2010 17:22

DD wants to go as she knows there are presents to be had.
She's not daft, and she knows none of them have called since I was ill but the lure of presents is too great, plus, I'd cause a massive family rift if we didn't go and I wouldn't do that.

I still don't want to though.

I don't want to watch TV btw, I want to watch the Belgian Grand Prix. There is a difference, and DD loves it too.

OP posts:
StewieGriffinsMom · 27/08/2010 17:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpanishLady · 27/08/2010 17:36

change the date of the meal

sorrento56 · 27/08/2010 17:38

Watching the GP is watching tv.

Tell your dd to chose between presents or tv.

LJS666 · 27/08/2010 17:41

I think you should change the date or go. Change the date and make up an important and convincing lie.

I know you want to watch the GP but the fall out won't be worth it and you'll probably not enjoy the GP for thinking about it.

Original poster
muggglewump · 27/08/2010 17:45

I can't change the date, it's booked and there's probably a cancellation fee, it's a nice restaurant (Lodge on the Loch at Luss).
I am considering a fake illness on the day so I don't have to go, and they can just take DD.

I just know I'll hate every minute of it.

OP posts:
Rockbird · 27/08/2010 17:50

Didn't we have this last year or did I dream it? If so then YANBU because if you're going to moan about it every year then you might as well sort it so they never do this ever again!
:o

cat64 · 27/08/2010 17:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
muggglewump · 27/08/2010 18:36

No, I didn't do this last year, honestly I didn't.
I took my Dad out for Father's Day the day of the British GP, and didn't even post about it, really.

My Uncle (the one who won't look after DD ever again in case people talk), has arranged it and doesn't really get my love for F1.

It's not that, that's upsetting me, it's going to the meal when they all forget I exist most of the time, and when they are in contact with me, they do not do behave like decent human beings.

If they were lovely, I'd not care so much about the race, but they are not.

Trade Descriptions would be down on me like a ton of bricks if I even dared to call any of them lovely.

They are generally horrible, and knobbers.

OP posts:
LJS666 · 27/08/2010 18:51

If they are that shit, think again about why you are considering going. Is it to not rock the boat? Maybe get out of the boat altogether.

I have 2 sisters who are truly horrible to me and my kids, and I am glad I have totally binned them.

I have completely cut ties with them and life is better without them. I would be polite and even a bit gossipy/catchy-uppy if I saw them at my parents but I have otherwise binned them.

Maybe that is the real issue, that you just don't like them and even if it was Coronation Street you wouldn't want to go.

If one of my sisters rang and said "I'm having a party, can you come" I'd say "what date is that?" and then invent an excuse.

Can you bin them altogether?

Rockbird · 27/08/2010 18:56

Apologies, I must have dreamt it or it was someone else Blush

Emster30 · 27/08/2010 18:58

are you my mum? i am having a family meal for my birthday on sunday and my mum does love watching f1...

thomsc · 27/08/2010 19:05

the highlights will b on BBC3 later...

I'm a fan and i tend to watch the highlights now, saves on all the rather tedious non-action you get now-a-days.

But... If they are that annoying, i'd consider binning them too. Can make life so much easier.

Kathyjelly · 27/08/2010 19:11

It's your DD's birthday. Why don't you ask her what she'd like you to do.

cumfy · 27/08/2010 19:19

Just say you have an emergency appointment with the GP Smile

trixie123 · 27/08/2010 20:12

FFS record it, avoid hearing the result (ie turn the car radio off) and watch it when you get home. Its your daughter's birthday. Playing along with less than ideal family members is just part of life and we all do it. My DP is obsessed with the GP too, but I would hit the roof if he tried to get out events like that for it.

Jasonthunderpants · 27/08/2010 20:59

muggglewump

y first post was about F1 and the crazy MNers who dislike men and F1 went nuts

Most women do not really understand that you have to watch F1 live and Spa is the best track of the lot

AlCrowley · 27/08/2010 21:08

DH is a massive F1 fan.

I asked him why Belgium was the Grand Prix. He says it's good but not the Grand Prix - but we do need to have gotten to my Mum's by midday on Sunday so he can watch it :)

Couldn't you go out for dinner rather than lunch so that you can watch the F1 and do your DD's meal?

Shaz10 · 27/08/2010 21:10

Pull a sickie.

Original poster
muggglewump · 27/08/2010 21:15

Lis66 you've got it, but unfortunately I have to stay on the boat, Or I can't stand the fall out of getting off.

My Dad is 86, I love him, but he's odd, the rest of the family are just odd and quite unpleasant, and I don't miss them and would happily forget them.

I am going, I will play along, and I'll wish I wasn't there, it just so happens there's a sporting event that I'd love to watch.
It's different from wanting to watch TV.
It is.

I can't record it either, I don't have recording equipment.

I'm not your Mum, and DD wants to go to get her presents.

I think I answered everyone now.

I still don't want to go.

OP posts:
cat64 · 28/08/2010 00:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
muggglewump · 28/08/2010 13:02

DD is 9, today actually. I'm about to fix up the new DVD player to the TV for her and she's had her favourite smoked salmon and scrambled eggs for breakfast.

My Uncle did the arranging, and called me to tell me. He does it for every family occasion and though I think he's treated me badly, I do try to appreciate that he's doing this for DD.

If I'd thought quicker I'd have made an excuse and rearranged for next weekend, but stupidly I didn't, and I can't really get out of it now.

DD is happy to go, she'll get presents and she likes the other kids going (My nephew and cousins kids), though she will insist on watching the GP as soon as we get back, but she's not daft, she knows that none of the family have called at any time to ask how we are, and given I spent 12 days in hospital earlier this year, and a few of them in intensive care on a ventilator, you'd think they might have.

OP posts:
Original poster
muggglewump · 29/08/2010 16:59

Well, I had developed an fake ear infection and was going to stay at home while DD went, but it turns out my brother and his wife were coming to say goodbye to everyone as they are moving to Australia and having a baby.
I still didn't want to go, but kinda had to, so I went and had to pretend to feel ropeyBlush

Still DD enjoyed it and it could have been worse I s'pose.

I shall watch the GP highlights later and try not to moan too much about missing the race live.

My Dad actually said he bet I was pissed off at missing Spa!

OP posts: