Getting out of bed

[AmIOverAnxious]

I don't know if I'm expecting too much or this really any cause for concern.

Before having kids my wife use to slate anyone on telly whose kids were hurt when up whilst the mother was still in bed.

During the holidays she puts the kids in front of the telly with their Nintendo DSs when they get up (between 6.30 and 7.30) but then goes back to bed - surfacing herself after 8 and sometime as late as 9. I see this when I work from home - but at least I'm there to check on the kids - but worry about it when I am not there.

Am I being over apprehensive or is this not accpetable behaviour and something I need to broach with her?

My kids aren't even 5 yet.
If the latter - any suggestions on how I go about it? and nice words to use to encourage her positively (not be seen to justcriticize)?
Thanks if you can help.

Well how old is under five? My 6yo gets herself and her 3 year old sister up, dressed. breakfasted and entertained before I even realise they are awake. Dd1 has been getting up alone and watching a bit of TV since she was around 3 years old.

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Do you help your wife at all? Can you make the evening meal? Do you do any housework? Currently resisting the urge to ask if you're for real....

Btw, the phrase "acceptable behaviour" is not one that should be used in conjunction with your wife.

Can't they put the telly and Nintendo on by themselves?

ShinyAndNew - HOW HOW HOW please write a book and have it published ASAP

Is it acceptable - it depends on a variety of factors. Are the children happy? Do they play the DS and watch TV all day or it it something they do in the morning and then go out and do things with your wife for the rest of the day?

Getting up at 8 or 9 is not necessarily a problem if you have nowhere else to be. She might be a much "nicer" mother for having had that extra hour of kip.

Something you should broach with her? Unless there are problems arising from this situation, I dont think you should presume to lecture your wife on how she is choosing to raise your children, within reason, when you are not there, unless there is a specific issue that bothers you - a definitive safety issue, for instance. Not just because it sounds kind of slack in the face of it.

We start our day in a very relaxed manner on a non-school day - it usually involves watching TV in my bed, sometimes not going downstairs until after 9. At the moment, I am dressed, but neither children are, yet, though I will be dressing them shortly - there is nobody here to see us or judge us and we are having a lovely relaxed morning. They are currently playing with a jigsaw puzzle and I am mumsnetting. Slack? You betcha, but everyone is relaxed and happy.

i used to lay back down in bed but not go back to sleep - and i used to get my youngest to get in to bed with me and watch telly while i dozed.

is she actually going back to sleep or just dozing while listening out for them?

if she is going back to sleep then i wouldnt be confortable with that but thats just me.

Altinkum I think it is because of the wording he used. What's he going to say to his wife if he decides he is not BU - "Your behaviour is unacceptable. Go and sit on the naughty step for 30 minutes while I make you a star chart"?

His wife should be his equal partner in this relationship. It is not up to him to deem her 'behaviour unacceptable' if he is disagrees with something she does/doesn't do then he should discuss with her like an adult, using adult phrases.

If he wants opinions on here then he should describe the situation using adult terms.

Please can you tell me how she does it in more detail, because even though I staple mine to the sofaencourage it DS1 ain't capitulating.

Sloany, she just started doing it one day. I now leave her bowls and spoons on the dining table as she cannot reach them so they were having dry cereal and drinking milk from the carton.

Shinyandnew, do you lend her to people - she could train other 5 and 6 year olds. You could be raking it in.

I would be willing to pay for ShinyGirl. Will she take 10 strawberry laces as a down payment?

Before you all start getting too jealous she also knows how to use the phone and buy films on Virgin Media and she makes use of both

Imagine -
6am
dd1 "Hello Nana. Are you still in bed? Mummy is in bed too. Dd2 wanted to say hello. We have just bought Bolt to watch on the telly box. Nana? Are you still there? Nana?"

We now unplug the phone on an evening and she is limited to buying just one film a week but has been trained in the magic of the DVD player and free Cartoons on On Demand. All unsuitable dvds are hidden.

Haha the little madam!

I'm also thinking Nana is the MIL, not your own mother

I used to put Cbeebies on and fall asleep on the sofa.

How much do you charge for her to sleep over? shiny

My Children are 6 and 4, i leave them a Breakfast Muffin, fruit and a drink out before i go to bed, then when they wake up at 6am they can help themselves to food and drink and they know how to put Nickelodeon on then i can get up at 8, i am a much nicer person for it tbh.

OP are you there? Have you gone back to sleep?

You make and important point there Titsalina - if I don't get enough sleep I am a horrible person and a really6 grumpy mum.

TBH it depends how old the DCs are. Not a great idea if they are 2 yrs and a baby but if they are 4.5yr old twins I am sure they will be fine.

OP - some posters are being unnecessarily mean to you. Fair play for you coming on here asking for advice.

I think YABU and YANBU in equal measure.

I personally wouldnt do this, but that is easy for me to say as I am a morning person and at my best in the mornings.
But I can equally see that if you arent a morning person, doing something like this during the holidays (when you arent held to ransom by getting them to school) is a lovely treat. Do also bear in mind that your wife also then has to spend the whole day with them which can be exhausting.

A couple of hours in the morning surely wont do them any harm. And I am sure your wife cares about their welfare as much as you do.

Let me ask you a question. What do you think - worse case, could happen to them during these hours?

Gosh I am so ofd all you with your independent toddlers!

Ds(2.8) wakes me up between 6:30am - 7am hollering "MUMMY" at the top of his voice. I then have to get in to bed with him - he won't ome to me Still he is very cuddly
He then decides to get up, so change his nappy and take him downstairs for breakfast by which time I'm wide awake.

Still he is good when my is poorly sick dying with a migraine, and doesn't mind me flaking out on the sofa while he watches Cbeebies or a DVD! We have a sofa bed downstairs so he'll nap with me on there after lunch!

OP possibly you are being UR but you haven't said how old your kids are.

DSS's mum used to do similar to Titsilanian, from when he was about 2-3, he would play contentedly in his room until she got out of bed and dss certainly hasn't suffered any ill effects because of it!

If they of DS age it implies they are at least 3.

I want a toddler like some of you have