to think this email could seriously cause offense?

[DuelingFanjo]

I'm wondering if I should reply to let them know?

I paid for a private Nuchal scan about 12 weeks ago which resulted in me being told I was high risk for Downs Syndrome. Happily I went on to have an Amnio on the NHS which showed everything was fine as far as chromosonal problems go.

Fast forward to yesterday when I received 2 identical emails from the private clinic asking me if I would be interested in parentcraft classes including pregnancy, labour, pain relief, childbirth and childcare classes.

Now... had I decided to terminate the pregnancy or had I miscarried at a later stage I can imagine that this email would be really upsetting.

Is it worth me pointing this out to them for the sake of other people who may not be as lucky as me to continue their pregnancy?

I expect they have a record of those who do terminate so wouldn't send the email.

I would hope that the clinic would have checks in place to stop the email been sent out inappropriately. But, I would be very surprised if a hospital gave details of a patients miscarriage/termination to another company.

I would write to them.

stuff like this is unavoidable I am afraid

I had a stillbirth at 20 weeks
still got all the pg related bumpf in the mail - Dh had to start intercepting stuff- some of it was so upbeat "wow, you must be so excited that you are now half way through your pg and well on the way to meeting your wonderful new baby"

pg status can change from one day to the next, there will never be a failsafe system to cope with every sad possibility

SIL had a mc and the hospital failed to alert her commnity midwife,who turned up for a home vist the next week not knowing - now, that was unavoidable!

they shouldn't have a record as they are a private clinic. As my Amnio was done on the NHS they wouldn't have access to my NHS health record. Here people can't have the Nuchal test on the NHS so they have to go private. In my case, had I decided to terminate, I would have done it on the NHS not through the private clinic and had I miscarried I would have been cared for on the NHS.

I have sent the following.

Thank you so much for the invitation to your parenting classes which I am going to decline as I have already signed up for the NCT classes.

After visiting your clinic for a Nuchal scan in June, and being told that my results were high risk, I decided to have the Amniocentesis at the Heath Hospital.
Fortunately we had a good result and I am progressing with the pregnancy.

However, I thought it might be worth mentioning to you that while my outcome was a happy one there will be many people who will have decided to terminate their pregnancy because of a chromosomal abnormality or perhaps who may have been unlucky enough to miscarry their pregnancy after a CVS or Amniocentesis.

It might be worth bearing this in mind when you send out emails offering parenting and childbirth classes to people who have visited your clinic for the Nuchal fold test as not everyone will still be pregnant and the offer so soon after the testing may not be received well.

Please could you remove me from your e-mail list

Many thanks.

I carried on getting calls and texts and all sorts after a hospital-documented miscarriage, with follow-up GP exams, this year. I wasn't that upset (was by the MC obviously but the calls etc didn't really upset me more IYSWIM) but other people could have really been hurt in a similar situation.

Yes, I'd be more worried about the fact that a private company has your details to target you for a parenting course.

Why have the NHS given away your information to them? Did I understand that correctly?

Sorry, that sounded awful, I didn't mean more worried. sorry :(
I meant that if you're thinking of contacting them it should be something to consider.

Ah no - the NHS hasn't given them my details, I did so I am ok with that to be honest.

I had to book the nuchal myself outside of the NHS so they have my details from then, but my concern was that they haven't really thought about the fact that some of the couples they see will have terminated the pregnancy or had a miscarriage as a result of the Nuchal or any ongoing invasive tests.

I wouldn't expect the NHS to have passed on a list to the private clinic of who they saw for amnios/CVS.

I don't know - it bugged me. I miscarried last year so I know how upsetting stuff can be. I kept getting stuff from internet sites I had joined for ages afterwards.

I thik it's worth me contacting them to just make them a bit more aware, particularly given the tests they do.

Oh, OK.. sorry, misunderstood there.

I think you're right to email, they may not have considered this (thoughtless as it is) and will hopefully appreciate the email.

btw, don't just email one person, find out if there are more senior people in the department (should be easily googleable) and CC them in :)

There is a facility for stopping baby related contact, it is a bit like the mail preference service.

YANBU.

I had a private nuchal fold scan which threw up a high risk. After an NHS CVS my only option was a termination. A few weeks later I had a very jolly young girl from said clinic ringing me up to do a survey on what I did next.

I said "I was happy with the clinic appointment but after a CVS I had to terminate the pregnancy"
She said "that's great. Oops, I don't mean great, you know what I mean!" giggle.

So yes, they should never contact you again after a nuchal fold scan. Its none of their business really. They should invite you to let them know the outcome should you choose to.

I received a reply from them today saying thank you and that they would note my concerns about the email list.

You did the right thing Fanjo.