I am fuming, need to off load, and someone tell me that they would feel the same

[thatsnotmymonkey]

Right, I live in the deepest countryside of Devon and 2 of my good friends from Bristol are coming for the weekend.

Some background-
There are 2 couples that live in the countryside, me and DH and our good mates, Betty and BOb. Betty and BOb are also great friends of the 2 friends coming from Bristol. They are going to stay with Betty and Bob. No big deal, sometimes they stay with us, sometimes with Bob and Betty. Thing is this; Betty and Bob already have a house guest and so they are pushed for room. The Bristol mates have not asked to stay with us instead. One of them is my DS godson- I am hurt. I have called them both to ask them what sort of time they would be coming, what shall we do. Left msg. Neither have returned my call. I am hurt about this too and think it is rude. On FB there was a chat from the 2 from Bristol about travel plans, I joined and said, do either of you need to stay here, they said no, but they "would still see us right??" I am really fucked off as neither of them have called me to say that they are coming, neither of them have returned my call, and their is an assumption on their part that we will just be there hanging about waiting to see them.
I feel like a spare part and I think they have been rude. I have already called, so not doing that again. Will see them on Sunday at a garden party Bob and Betty have organised, but I have a good mind to make myself and family unavailable for the weekend. I feel so taken for granted and I am especially angry as the godfather is a really good friend of ours. I expected more of him.
AIBU to tell the godfather he has been rude?
What would you do in this situation? I know that neither of them are being purposefully malicious or nasty, just really selfish.
Aaaaaaaaaargh

I may be confused but I dont get what they have done wrong?

So far as I can see, all they have done is stick with their plans to stay with betty and bob. Perhaps they thought it would be rude to back out as it may cause offense to betty and bob.
They know they will see you Sunday, so probably can't see the urgency to return a call. Think you are over reacting and seeing offense where none exists tbh

Neither of them have returned my calls.

neither of them have actually contacted me to say they are coming

one of them assumes that I and DS will be around without them having gotten in touch

I know I am being sensitive, but I feel like I am being taken for granted

ok. It is the assumption that is pissing me off.

You feel like you are being left out?

I can see how you could take it that way.

Not sure how you can broach it without being seen as a bit jealous of betty and bob's offer for the couple to stay.

I wouldn't be waiting in for them but I would go to the arranged party and smile lots.

Don't take it personally,life is too short!

You can't understand why they are not staying with you as B&B are already hosting? You take that as an insult. You want to make plans to meet up and they don't. You are seeing slights that aren't there imo. You will see them at B&B's. I think you need to focus on seeing your friends without having to put them up and do the work that that entails or you will put a dampner on the weekend.

The party is impromptu.

They are not a couple BTW.

one of them is coming to see my DS. I only l know this through reading a FB post on another mutual friends wall.

I just would have liked some direct contact.

OK, I can see I am over reacting

I don't think you are overreacting tbh.

Why can't people pick the fucking phone up and let you know when they are passing by,instead of FB posting .

I've actually had this before with 'friends' It's damn rude.I no longer have FB

Thanks poshwellies, they are actually 2 of my best mates. One of them was DH best man, and the other has been my oldest gf for ages. Harrump

If it's any consolation I'd feel the same as you thatsnotmymonkey - I love your name by the way because I bought that book for my wee grandson and he adores it!!

They should definitely let you know what their plans are - I am assuming they don't have kids? (I know they are not a couple)

I do understand how you feel as my best friend who lives a million miles away from me (well, not quite, but you get the gist!) will suddenly appear and expect me to drop everything to see her for a weekend when she is "home" without any prior warning. It does annoy!!!
But I also think you are seeing you are being a little bit hormonal sensitive maybe.
Not worth falling out over!

Have I got this wrong- they did not ask to stay with you and you are put out?

They said they would still see you and you're annoyed?

Did they ever say they would be staying with you?
Maybe they have other shock plans that have nothing to do with you?

Think you are creating something out of nothing and yes, you are being unreasonable.

TBH Im guilty of this too. I invite one set of friends and assume the others are coming too. Maybe they assumed you knew and therefore didnt feel the need to let you know iyswim

So, isn't it the case that they are going to visit their friends betty and bob? And they will use the opportunity to aslo see you?

Is that not enough - does it have to be about you?

Thanks, I know I am being a bit full on about this, it just makes me feel like they don't think I have any sort of social life and can just drop everything for them.

I am making more of it than there is. I would also have liked the godfather of our DS to be a bit more interested in making some hard and fast pans to see oour DS- his GS

LOL this thread is posted twice 1 seems to be YNABU and the other thread has mainly YABlittleU and overreacting.

I have not seen the other thread again....

Well betty and bob have 2 under five, so no peace and quiet there!

I am not put out that they are staying there, more that they have not called me.

Well the GFather just called and was contrite. Is he a mumsnetter!!?

I blame betty and bob. I am just about sick of them.

at hully.