To be bothered by this?

[SunnyDays06]

We have some new neighbours next door with lovely girls aged 5&7. My dd almost 4 has become great friends with them. Next door to them is a boy aged 4 almost 5. My worry is that since the girls have discovered this boy my dd has been completely left out. They won't call for her, only if he is out with his father. They just ignore her if she goes out to play with them and she's even ignored when she went to the boys house to play with them all. What do I do I want her to be included and it breaks my heart she is upset cos they won't play with her. Many thanks

They sound rather young for all of this. Presumably they are supervised when playing, so do the other parents not intervene?

If they are not doing it on purpose, then I guess you just have to explain that to your daughter. It will be a tough lesson to learn, but it will stand her in good stead for the future.

Your dd is "almost 4" - so she's three yrs old, and the next door neighbours kids "call for her" what do you mean by this exactly. Obviously a 3 yr old isn't allowed out alone, so do you mean they used to call round to come into your place to play with her?

She's almost 4, so yes 3 but a lot of difference from a 3.1 year old to a 3.11! They knock come in or goto thiers or play at their house.

Sorry bloody phone!!

I'd chalk it up to experience. Presumably the other children will all attend the same school whereas your DD will be next yr? This sort of break is natural tbh and I wouldn't worry unduly!

There are big differences with these ages. I'm sure it's not deliberate 'exclusion', or anything like that.

Ask the girls over for some crafty or girly play.

Soon enough this little chap won't give the girls the time of day, so don't worry!

In the meantime go to the park with your DD, and let her run around with new friends there, after all it's up to you to sort out your DD's social life, it's not your neighbours' job.

My daughter does ice skating gymnastics aswell as lots of other activities with lots of friends. I do not leave it upto my neighbour at all! I just think it'd be nice for my dd yo have friends closer to home!

It won't be long before the girls won't want to play with him. My DD doesn't want to play with the boys next door to us.

I don't think it's just the age gap, but some kids "click" and some don't. Often it is a one-way thing. When my ds was at preschool there was one boy who was nuts about him; his mum was always phoning and asking for him to come and play, said her son "always talked about" ds. However, ds never gave him the time of day! And they were both 4.

It is very handy if your kids get on with those next door but it doesn't always work that way.

My DD is almost 4 and there is no where our 5 and 7 yr old neighbour kids would want to play with her all the time. They are into such different things.

Let her play with them every now and again - supervised crafty stuff at your house is a good idea.

In a year when she's a confident bike rider etc it will be much different, and if she has other friends at other activities I dont see why she would be this upset about it, unless she is sensing your upset iykwim.

ime a huge gulf opens up between pre-school and school age kids. My dd1 has a friend a year younger than her and the year when she was at school but her friend wasn't was really quite hard as her friend suddenly seemed really 'young' iyswim.

As others have said, in a year or two the group dynamics will probably be very different. Give it time, you can't force these things.

Dd is nearly 7 and would only every consider playing with a 3 year old as a novelty and as in a caring older role - never as a regular thing. They would be virtually babysitting for you if you leave your 3 year old with them - not much fun for them I'm sure.