Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

Anngiveoyed with IL's

21 replies

MigGril · 25/08/2010 21:58

For booking a holiday the week before I'm due to go into labour with there seconed grandchild. When they are the only relatives we have who live anywhere near us and had agreed to come and look after DD when I go into hosplital .

Luckly for us I have some good friends who will be more then willing to help out. But I'm still with IL's as they offered and now possibly will be on the other side of the country.

I'm feeling like it's a part of a bigger problem to as we've seen very little of them lattly. They just seem to busy and there new dogs seem to come first all of the time as well. (There more to it then that but I'm trying to keep this short).

OP posts:

NuttyElla · 25/08/2010 21:59

Sorry but the world doesn't revolve around you just because you're having a baby

Original poster

MigGril · 25/08/2010 22:01

No but they had voluntired to help out. We hadn't asked never do. Then they book holoiday and haven't even told us I've found out form thired party.

OP posts:

Firawla · 25/08/2010 22:01

no yanbu if they did say they would help and then backed out, that is quite bad of them.
however if they are like this, not sticking to commitments etc then you are probably better off with your friends helping if more reliable and if you see them more often

Tippychoocks · 25/08/2010 22:02

I am crap at Forum-speak. and never understand all the special words and acronyms. What does Anngiveoyed mean?

curlymama · 25/08/2010 22:02

I'd get the friends to do it anyway if they are going to be like that.

Original poster

MigGril · 25/08/2010 22:03

Sorry my typing is all over the place tonight.

Annoyed, it was supposed to be and I don't know if I can edit it.

OP posts:

Pioneer · 25/08/2010 22:03

YANBU if they had already agreed to look after your DD.

Sorry to say it, but perhaps, like you say, there is more to it, and they are using the holiday as an excuse?

Have you spoken to them about it?

Tippychoocks · 25/08/2010 22:05

I had one of those days yesterday.
I did wonder but I often miss the point of internet-y words.

Alouiseg · 25/08/2010 22:05

You can have mine! They rock up unannounced and repeat themselves for 2 hours!!!!!! I havnt got 2 hours to drink fucking tea and look at their manky teeth.

Original poster

MigGril · 25/08/2010 22:09

No haven't spocken to them about it yet as only found out tonight. My OH isn't very happy with them. But we have been having a few problems with them lattly.

For a family who clames to be very family orientated they just don't seem intersted in there only Grandchild either. We don't expect to see them that offtern (as we are all very busy with different things) but just lattly I've seen my Dad more and he's a four hour dive away and has 4 othergrand children.

OP posts:

Pioneer · 25/08/2010 22:35

All I'd say MigGril is don't let it fester or it will eat you up.

Speak to them and let them know you know, ask if it is correct, and if it is, let them know that you are a bit upset as you had relied on them, and now you will need to find alternative childcare.

See what they say to that and then try to get it sorted out asap - the last thing you need is conflict when you are pregnant.

gtamom · 26/08/2010 07:15

Perhaps they are under the illusion that they are going a week before, not on your due date, and will be back in time?
We all know you cannot guarantee the day a baby will be born, but perhaps they have forgotten things like that?

mummytime · 26/08/2010 07:55

YANBU if they agreed they should stick to it. I was annoyed with SIL who agreed to look after DS while I had the next one. Then she had to move, which was fine, but then she offered to come down anyway - so I accepted. But then she backed out, and I had to ask friends.

I just wish she hadn't offered when it was going to be too much trouble.

BTW just to show I'm not unreasonable (too much) the first friends who agreed, then had a family tragedy. So without even mentioning it, I asked some other friends, who agreed. We both thought it would be unreasonable to mention it to the first friend - although if she had mentioned it we'd have discussed it. She did remember about 6 months later and was relieved we'd just got on with it.

However I'm pleased you have friends to help.

Aeldredida · 26/08/2010 08:25

I would phone them up and tell them you have been booked into hospital for the birth (chose a day mid week on their holiday) then sit back and listen with a delighted smile as they squirm.

Its not the nice or right thing to do tho, so I dont advise it at all, o no, not at all.

Pick someone you can rely on and good luck :)

BubbaAndBump · 26/08/2010 08:44

How long are they going for? If it's just a week, maybe they were hoping to get a holiday out of the way before lending a hand?? (clutching at straws here perchance!)

diddl · 26/08/2010 09:03

Perhaps they are similar to my ILs?

When I phoned to say could they come over MIL said-"I´ve just put a casserole in the oven, what should I do with it? Oh, I can´t think I´ll put you on to FIL"

FIL said-"do we need to come now, what time will you actually be having the baby?"

So, OP-maybe they think that as long as they are back for your due date, all´s OK.

DetectivePotato · 26/08/2010 09:49

YANBU.

Just let your friends do it and if they are back in time for your birth and ask why they aren't looking after their GC, tell them you had to make alternative arrangements as you didn't know if they would be there or not.

craftynclothy · 26/08/2010 10:08

I think they're like my IL's and think there's no chance of it coming before your due date. My MIL wanted us to have a weekend at theirs (4.5hrs away) at 37+6. When we said no, she got annoyed cos apparently "the baby won't come then"...this from the woman who had her kids at 34 and 36 weeks .

craftynclothy · 26/08/2010 10:09

Meant to add YANBU btw.

FellatioNelson · 26/08/2010 22:56

What is anngiveoyed?

fedupofnamechanging · 26/08/2010 23:02

YANBU. People should do the things that they commit themselves to doing.
Sounds to me as though you are better off with your friends.
I think that you can't make people be involved if they don't want to be, but by the same token, when they want something from you (or expect to visit at their convenience after the baby is born) you will be well within your rights to refuse if it doesn't suit you.

Flip

Swipe left for the next trending thread