to get annoyed when

[FuzzyWuzzyWuz]

people say "pregnancy is a condition, not an illness"?
especially when that person isn't pregnant, and to my knowledge, has never been pregnant?? I KNOW it's not an excuse to skive off work just cos you feel like it, (and I haven't been) but if you are having a tricky time, feeling pukey, dog tired all the time, etc etc then why the hell should you drag yourself about and make it worse?? And then to go on and say well so and so had a baby and she didn't feel ill - well bully for her, I'm so pleased!! GAH!!! And then, the piece de la resistance (sp) to say, and you know your DP will be upset when the baby's born cos you won't have as much time for him.. Oh really? Just how well do you know my DP, and what's it got to do with you anyway!!! Grrrrr... and breath and relax...

Think you need one of these

:)

Doctors are told to call it a condition nowadays, not an illness, as there is nothing 'wrong' per se with the mother-to-be.

YANBU I'm so with you there - I had bad SPD in both my pregnancies, bled from 24 weeks with my first and in my 2nd I was in mild labour from 30 weeks until I had a cs at 38 weeks. One 'friend' told me to be grateful that I didn't have morning sickness, if I had then I'd really know what a difficult pregnancy was like. Other people told me that it was my choice to get pregnant so I had to just get on with it and sooooo many people told me that women got pregnant all the time and they didn't have these problems so why couldn't I do it 'properly'?

It´s not an illness though.

Unfortunately it can make some women feel unwell.

I know you're not being unreasonable, but I've just been chatting to a friend who's in the early stages and won't stop going on about how it's affecting her in such a bad way. She doesn't work (a day's work would kill her) and she has her parents on hand all the time to help...

Sorry, you caught me at a very unsympathetic moment!

yes, but it's the sing song, "not an illness, tra la la, why are you making a fuss... tra la la, so and so had her baby whilst still filing her project reports and then entertained the clients whilst bfing subtly, you're just not doing it right, and I know cos I've never been pregnant but I've had period pain so it must be something like that!!"

I know there's nothing wrong with me, I just don't need some silly female giving me unwanted advice.

Thanks for the biscuit, I shall make a cup of tea

Doc told me pregnancy wasn't an illness when I went to him with anaemia related tiredness. Midwife overheard and spent about 10 minutes tearing him a new one .

OP Yanbu
it is not technically an "illness" but some people can be quite ill, so a bit of sympathy would not be so hard (or atleast keeping comments to themselves)
especially from someone who has never been pregnant i would find this kind of thing extremely irritating, im sure anyone would.

If people are telling you it isnt an illness its because you are complaining too much.

Sorry but thats how it works.

People, especially the ones who havent been pregnant before (the ones who seem to annoy you the most) don't want to hear the ins and outs of your pregnancy. End of.

It is most boring to everyone else on the planet. trust me.

Thats said, mumsnet has a pregnancy section where you are free to whinge on freely to people who do care. Also your DP is required to listen, bored or not. And mine I'm sure is sick to death of me going on and on about it.. but frankly isn't stupid enough to say that. Because that's his job.

To add to my case, I have only told this one person (she is supposed to be a friend) and my boss in the office, and I have only had 1 day off sick since finding out, she asked me how it was going (rather than me start the whining) and I said, "I'm feeling a lot better then I did thanks" so I think the condition vs illness thing was just a really crap thing to say. And then to start banging on about DP when she doesn't really know him just sent me over the edge. And, (another thing!) tbh I remember the wonder-mummy when she was preggers and she so was not the perfect poster girl for pregnancy, poor girl threw up everywhere, was nearly put in a wheelchair, and was incredibly teary for a lot of it so I'm more than a little bit miffed

And before anyone misunderstands that, I'm not picking on the pukey preggers girl, it's the numbnuts I was talking to that got my goat.

I completely agree with Sanielle

YANBU

I sit next to someone at work who has not been sick once during her pregnancy. I've been throwing up several times a day every day. Every so often she rolls out the 'you're pregnant not ill' line.

How many times a day do you have to throw up before you qualify as ill then??

Not that I'm remotely wound up about this at all. I'm ill because I'm pregnant but it doesn't mean I'm not bloody ill.

being pregnant isn't an illness, but it can create some serious illnesses & side effects.

i had morning sickness so badly that the life of my baby was at risk. that's fairly life-and-death and shouldn't be ignored. then, just before a meeting one day, the woman sitting next to me at work, turned to the person on the other side of her and said 'i really hate it when pregnant women use it as an excuse to get things, like being able to sit down, or get out of work'. deliberately loudly enough for me to hear.

yep, she never had kids and didn't really like them, and it really pissed me off.

sanielle - i think any illness that someone else moans on about gets boring, not just pregnancy.

I agree with Sanielle too.

Those who want to hear about it will let you know. Otherwise, it's boring, boring, boring!

Sorry!

'If people are telling you it isnt an illness its because you are complaining too much.'

The people I work with are basing their assesment on the loud vomiting noises coming from the toilet not me complainging

sanielle and babydubs, have you read my posts? you MN lot are the only ones who know I've been feeling crap!

In advance I just want to say that I am not trying to be smug...but my problem is exactly the opposite. Am now pregnant with DC2. Both my first and this pregnancy have been relatively straightfoward, some queasiness and tiredness but nothing too difficult.

However my managers and work colleagues assume that I am not capable to take on more work or more responsibilities because I am pregnant! Even though I insist I am fine they are hell bent on giving me the benefit of their wisdom and experience of pregnancy and dealing with two children instead of one and dismiss me with their well meaning sympathy and advice not to overdo it. I find this really frustrating because for me pregnancy is not an illness it is a condition! And although they may have found pregnancy and dealing with two small children very difficult maybe just maybe I can work out for myself what I am capable of at this time!!!

Right rant over!

Ps Fuzzy I am sorry that your pregnancy has been a bit rough though! I guess the moral of the story is not everyone has the same experience and each is valid!