More of a knock some sense into me than an AIBU...wanting another baby...

[mumcanihavearabbit]

OK this is mu first ever post on this forum, although I have been lurking for ages, and replied to a few posts....

Background info... Me and DH have been together 8 years happily married for 2, we have 3 beautiful children, DS 7 in Sept, DD 5 in Oct, and DD2 4 in Dec. I was 17 when I fell pregnant with DS after only being with DH 6 months and so many people said it was too soon etc, maybe it was, but it worked.

I left college and starting working to prepare for him, and have been a SAHM since. I am now 25 and I am doing my NVQ level 3 CCLD, and would love to have another baby, as would DH, he wants it more than me. My problem is after DD2 i said that would be it no more and I even wanted to be steralised.

Everyone around me is having babies and I would love to be pregnant again, and even the whole labour, I would look forward to, mad I know!! We are not well off, but we are comfortable, room for cut backs etc, if we needed.

I would love another baby but I need someone to knock some sense into and tell me if it is a good idea or not, as I have done nappies, and feeds etc and I am finally getting my career back on track, even though I didn't leave college doing childcare, it was Law and business studies!!!

Arrghh words of wisdom please....

I work in a nursery and my child comes with me. Its flexible, part time, I get my childcare for free through tax credits, make an ok wage, you can get free training on the job etc and on top of all that you get to have all the benifits of being a Stay at Home mum without any of the boring bits.

I also think it saves me money to as we get to have all our fun at nursery which if I was at home I would have to provide resources, trips, nappies, meals etc but you get that all in at a nursery. To me it is the best job in the world for a mum so I would say if you really want it try and do that.

I just want honest opinions Spacehopper, I had honestly beleived I wouldnt want anymore, and be happy with what I have got and which I am extremely grateful. Child wouldnt be able to come with me as the pre-school I am in don't take children under 2.

I dont know what I'm asking to be honest, my children would love another sibling, but it is me saying no, probable because I have been home for 7 years and have finally got something to get out of the house for...

pobably dorry not probable

sorry typo's all over!!!

Hi Mumcanihavearabbit,

I don't know what the right answer is. I don't know that any of us here do. You have to make a decision based on your own circumstances.

Given your post, you obviously have doubts. That's not unusual.
ap
You're only 25. You still have years ahead of you for either a career or more children. So the choice is yours.

I think that you probably know what the right choice is for you.

My Mum had me at 21 and my last sister at 34 so we're proof that whatever age, it works!

Good luck and be happy.

if i was you i would have another one, you want one and doesnt sound like it would be too problematic financially etc
depends what you think about your career whether that is more important or a baby. you do have time as you are not that old, but then you could just have another baby now and go back to career once they have grown up a bit, as you would still have time for that too.
personally would rather just do the babies first though otherwise will be quite a large gap for your next one

Why AIBU? It's your choice and yours alone, have a child if you want and can afford one. All the crappy, never have a child if you won't put the child benefit towards riding classes or private education is shite of the highest order.

I wanted another baby and DH and I talked about it. I could give a million reasons why I shouldn't and only one reason why I should. I wanted one. It was good enough for me.

If it is what you want and you can afford it financially then why on earth not?

It sounds like you and your DH both want one, so why not?

I desperately want one too, DH has been putting it off but we have agreed to start trying this fall. Yay! :)

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Things change. If you had asked me 10 years ago about having kids I would have reacted with horror and said "Are you mad? No way!". 8 years ago I was in tears everyday having been told I couldn't have them. 6 years ago I had my DS1 and thought 'that's it plenty for me'. 2 years ago I had the worse case of baby rabies possible, now I have a DS2 and am thinking: 'maybe one more..."

You don't have to do it right now, you are 25, maybe have a few years getting your feet under you and then see where you are.