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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have a little cry?

22 replies

teenyanne · 23/08/2010 11:42

My dd (10 months) started nursery this morning, in preparation for me going back to work next week. She was totally fine about the whole thing and went to the girl in the nursery like she'd known her forever. I cried all the way home after dropping her, even though it is my choice to go back to work (We could afford for me to be a sahm but it would be at the risk of my sanity). Am I being ridiculous to be so upset?

OP posts:

deemented · 23/08/2010 11:44

YANBU.

It's a new phase of yours and your DD's life. It's hard.

And it's OK to cry.

DuelingFanjo · 23/08/2010 11:48

YANBU. I recon it's hard but it's one of those things you can get ovr in time. Just think, when it comes to school she will probably trot inwithout a care :)

Pioneer · 23/08/2010 11:48

YANBU - completely normal reaction IME - I did it and so did all my friends.

Tikkabillajive · 23/08/2010 11:53

YANBU - I found this SO hard both times I've had to do it. But it soon settles down and becomes normal - and I now have two remarkably happy, confident and settled young children, I think them going to nursery has certainly played a part in that.

Don't be too tough on yourself, and make the most of a couple of hours' peace! Oh, and don't be shocked if your dd cries when you pick her up - my dd used to do that at first when she started nursery at 10 months. I think she'd been having such a nice time there that it was a bit of a shock to see me at the end of the day!

lazarusb · 23/08/2010 11:57

you're normal! When my youngest started school I cried my eyes out...and I work there! I spent the next half an hour in the Heads office crying and feeling like an idiot. Be proud that your lo is so well adjusted :)

Tortington · 23/08/2010 11:58

yanbu - i think i would have thrown a party misefl - but i didn't like them v.much when they were little

seenyertoeslately · 23/08/2010 11:59

YANBU.

I didn't actually cry when I took DS1 to the childminder's on my first day back at work - but I thought about him all day. I'm surprised they didn't fire me.

I was OK when he started primary school, but shed a few tears when he set off down the road for secondary school, much to his scorn.

And I cried buckets when I took him to the airport to fly back to UK for uni.

In fact, I'm pathetic!

katkit · 23/08/2010 12:00

yanbu. i'm just planning it at the mo and getting in a state. your dc sounds cool with it. it's harder for you i think.

Original poster

teenyanne · 23/08/2010 12:02

Thanks, glad to know i'm not the only one. The daft thing is I was really looking forward to having some time on my own this week for the first time in 10 months, and now I cry about it!!

OP posts:

Squitten · 23/08/2010 12:02

YANBU

We're starting DS1 at nursery a few times a week very soon and when I went to look round the place the other day I found myself have a miniature anxiety attack!

They grow up too fast...

witlesssarah · 23/08/2010 12:10

Oh goodness, of course YANBU I cried plenty of times when DS was first at nursery, and I still miss him some days and he's 4 (don't think he misses me ever but he often leaps into my arms when I pick him up). FWIW I cried when he tried on his school uniform on Fri - he's been at nursery for nearly four years and he hasn't even gone to school yet. Get used to those tears

ChippingIn · 23/08/2010 13:13

YANBU - it's a normal reaction :) Most of us would have done the same! It's just the start of all of those 'choking' moments :(

Good luck with this next stage....

Squitten - are you sure you're ready & willing to do this?? :(

kreecherlivesupstairs · 23/08/2010 13:35

Wait till you see their first painting/performanace/report etc. My DD gets really [embarrassed] by me and I am normally as hard as nails.

drfayray · 23/08/2010 13:40

YANBU. I cried at all of those events; first day at nursery, primary school etc. My son is going to Madrid for 4 weeks in September (we live in Australia) and I know I will cry buckets! Have tears in eyes now, daft cow that I am!

theressomethingaboutmarie · 23/08/2010 13:44

I cried for hours after dropping my 6 month old DD off for a settling in session at the childminders. I called my husband and took about 5 minutes to tell him that I had dropped her off at the childminders. It took me so long to get my words out between sobs, he thought I had actually dropped her...

LibertyGibbet · 23/08/2010 13:50

DD starts school in 13 months. That's 13 months. I keep seeing all the Back to school stuff in shops, the little pinafore dresses and pencil cases and my eyes start to feel watery.

I think it's normal.

Original poster

teenyanne · 23/08/2010 14:05

Thank you everyone for making me feel normal!!

OP posts:

Squitten · 23/08/2010 19:14

ChippingIn Oh God yes! After another full week dealing with raging toddler and pregnancy, I have remembered why it's going to be a good thing...

I think it's just the anxiety about the fact that it's the first time he's been left with total strangers rather than family. In actuality, he's a very independent little sprite and I think he'll love it

mumbar · 23/08/2010 19:20

yanbu - I still cry now when I have to leave ds. (well school isn't a problem!)

Hes going to stay with DGp and bro and sis Sunday until sis returns him Weds and everytime I think about it I get tearful (and he's 6!)

scottishmummy · 23/08/2010 19:31

expect,to feel bit rattled but it passes.then they settle into nursery and you happy at work.varies from child to child and it passes. talk to nursery staff about it

take in fave toys, fave blanket,talk about nursery at home. tell her all about your day at work.exciting mummy did ....today.include your working day in her stories

also grow a thicker skin to deflect the nay sayers and precious moments mamas harrumphing about nursery

isthatporridgeinyourhair · 23/08/2010 19:46

It's perfectly normal to feel a bit sad but it passes. She'll have a ball at nursery and you'll be fine.

ChippingIn · 24/08/2010 10:11

Squitten You'll just have to keep that firmly in your mind!!

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