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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that parents who don't strap their toddlers into car seats properly should be hung drawn and quartered.

68 replies

PinkyMe · 22/08/2010 20:50

On my way home today, I saw a little boy about my dds age (2yrs old) with both arms and head out the rear window.

Obviously not strapped into his car seat properly despite him being in one.

I know I've judgey pants on, but this really pisses me off.

OP posts:
differentnameforthis · 23/08/2010 01:35

Houdini Stop

Can't find UK results for this tho. Goggle only giving me Aus/NZ

differentnameforthis · 23/08/2010 01:38

Lady, I was Shock the first time dd2 did it. It would never have even occurred to dd1! No matter what I tried, she would get her arms free.

I don't know what made me try this, I was desperate, had stopped 4 times in 10 min, on a hours journey as she just kept getting them out as soon as I put her in! So I just 'tried' this as a stop gap...but it works a treat, so it's staying!

Breton1900 · 23/08/2010 02:55

The behaviour of some parents defies belief.

On several occasions I have seen a large 4x4 driven by the obligatory blonde, presumably taking an older child to school, and yet this bimbo allows her younger child to stand between the back seats!

I also once saw a woman driving hell for leather down a 30mph street with a toddler standing on the front passenger seat and leaning on the dash! Shock Angry

Jamieandhismagictorch · 23/08/2010 05:56

"obligatory blonde" - is that "obligatory in the Daily Mail" by any chance, Breton?

< not blonde, in case anyone is wondering >

monkeyfacegrace · 23/08/2010 06:48

< splutters, checks the mirror (defo blonde), checks the driveway (yep 4x4), Angry >

KaraStarbuckThrace · 23/08/2010 08:07

'Most car seat mistakes are caused by extreme tireness

If you are so tired you can't put your child in a car seat correctly you shouldn't be fucking driving anyway Angry
Remember that ad campaign "I hope I die like John, in his sleep and not like his passengers screaming in terror".

Pinky - HD&Q is rather extreme, but yes there should be harsher penalties and more checks to ensure children are in a proper car seat that is being used correctly.

This has already been covered in other similar threads, but their is a wealth of statistics that support the use of car seats to reduce infant mortality and severe injury in car accidents.

As I have said before and I will say say -

It does not matter how safe a driver you are you have ZERO control over the actions of other drivers. And there are far too many twattish drivers on the roads to compromise on your and your child's safety,

susy80 · 23/08/2010 08:11

I would be really upset if I found I had not strapped LO in properly. We don't have an expensive car seat (I dont see the difference between a £300 and a good £40 tbh) I have seen the same things though. The other week I saw about 3 young kids in a car jumping around and one large kid on someone's lap in a busy part of town. TBH I think some people just do not realise. Many people come over from other countries and have no such laws, they go around in cars in their own country that are dragging along the ground carrying about 8/9 people. But road safety has really only become such a big issue since the 1990's and rightly so.

booyhoo · 23/08/2010 08:22

ds2 (15months) managed to get his arms out of his straps one day, now his straps or really tight. my dad complains when he is buckling them that they need loosened but, really any looser and he can get his arms out. i am not risking it.

hung drawn and quartered is a bit severe tbh honest OP but they should definitely be given points, a fine and be made to do a car safety course, and watch those crash test videos.

i remember my neighbour's parents arriving back one day with their grandaughter standing up on the grandmothers knee in teh front passenger seat hanging out the window. clearly no seatbelt on. i was going out with neighbours cousin at the time and they are best mates so i teted him and told him what i saw, he said they do it all the time, there is no talking to them Shock

Mishy1234 · 23/08/2010 08:25

YANBU.

However, I've also had problems with my toddler getting his arms out of the straps on his car seat. I have a mirror to keep an eye on him and do pull over to strap him back in as soon as I notice. I looked into getting something to stop him from getting his arms out (like the clip already suggested), but read that they aren't legal in the UK.

Flighttattendant · 23/08/2010 08:34

YABU to an extent.

If they made car seats that had the shouldre straps close enough together to prevent the child taking their arms out EVERY TIME I would of course have a safely secured child. However neither of the car seats we have bought him has this facility. They are spaced far enough apart for a 4yo and he is only just 3.

It's stupid. Can anyone suggest one that will suit a narrow shouldered 3yo? If so I will go and buy the bloody thing.

jaggythistle · 23/08/2010 08:50

YANBU, of course for deliberately not bothering. Not looking forward to DS figuring his out!

The worst I have seen is a truck beside me at a petrol station, with 2 adults and a primary school age child strapped into the seats, then a baby about the same age as my DS (then 8mo) sitting on the parents knee with no restraint at all. :(

AvrilHeytch · 23/08/2010 08:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Flighttattendant · 23/08/2010 09:02

Could we make this an MN campaign? It's been going on for far too long already.

I would be interested to see stats of the injuries sustained by toddlers with their arms not strapped in actually.

Someone should be doing something about this.

BaggedandTagged · 23/08/2010 09:09

Out of interest, what do people do in taxis? Do you take the car seat everywhere with you or just risk it for the odd journey?

AvrilHeytch · 23/08/2010 09:13

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geordieminx · 23/08/2010 09:14

Seeing this more and more - there are a few kids that get picked up from ds's nursery by their parents that dont even have car seats (under 5)

spiritmum · 23/08/2010 09:17

I drove down the road recently behind a car with a toddler lying across the shelf thing by the rear window. I was a passenger and had to close my eyes until my dad, who was driving, had told me the car had pulled off!

Another thing I remember is from the under-ones group I used to go to, there was a real competitiveness to get babies out of their rear-facing seats and into front ones. We took dd2 to get a front facing seat and teh shop told us to keep her rear facing for as long as possible. The other mums were so patronising about the fact she was still rear-facing even when I explained she was safer. Confused

Flighttattendant · 23/08/2010 09:17

Apparently it is the next safest option just to have the child sat on your lap while youare strapped in. (they are outside the strap iyswim)

so in a taxi I would do this, or request a cab with a child seat in.

More cars should have seats that are built in and can be converted for use with a child. I think the Seat Alhambra already does.

deaddei · 23/08/2010 09:18

YANBU.
Where I live, we have a large proportion of Korean partents who don't seem to realise that their children need to be strapped in. You will sometimes see 2 or 3 children roaming over the seats/standing up.
I have on occasion banged on the window and told them.
Yjere have been letters home through school and the local church which many attend, but it doesn't seem to make any difference.

BKD · 23/08/2010 09:24

YANBU. I work with adults following traumatic brain injury. The risk of severe injury or death can be prevented with the use of an appropriate child seat, so I agree that there should be harsh(er) penalties for adults who let their kids run free in the car or hold them on their lap etc. It makes me really angry when I see people risking their kids safety so ignorantly. My SIL (in Italy)lets her 2 year old sit on her lap as her DD does not 'like' to use a car seat. Wrong for a few reasons but let's not go there...

porcamiseria · 23/08/2010 09:32

hung drawn and quartered?

yabu for using that vile analogy

fatheadsgirl · 23/08/2010 09:39

It's one thing when you don't realise you're kid's not strapped in properly but when your child is hanging out the window.....how do you miss that Hmm
I had a "friend" that just let her kids jump all over the back of her car cause they didn't like being restricted and she coudn't hack the temper tantrums.....Lets see how much you and they enjoy beng flung through the front window at 50 miles per hour then eh Angry

OP YANBU

My MIL and I were waiting at a junction not two days ago when she noticed what must have been a three year old jumping about in the back of the car next to us, cue her promptly rolling down the window and shouting at the parents about safety and his lack of seatbelt or even carseat! Bit embarrassing but she had a bloody good point!

BaggedandTagged · 23/08/2010 09:44

Flightattendant- that's what they recommend here (Asia) as most people don't have cars and taxis either dont have the right belts for car seats or you just dont get time to install them properly befre taxi drives off.

They say if it's a baby, put the seatbelt on you and then sling the baby over the belt. For a child, as you say, strap yourself in and then put child on your lap. I was a bit Shock when the midwife told us this. We do have a car but there will still be times when I'll have to get a cab and it does worry me a bit.

I know that there's an exemption in the UK for children under 3 in taxis, but just wondered what people did from a practical viewpoint.

AvrilHeytch · 23/08/2010 09:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

differentnameforthis · 23/08/2010 10:02

I looked into getting something to stop him from getting his arms out (like the clip already suggested), but read that they aren't legal in the UK.

Really...I didn't know that!