Why am I being so unreasonable?

[YunoYurbubson]

Why, when in all other respects I am a reasonable, rational, fair-minded woman, am I reduced to a seething, jealous rage when my dh goes to bed ill?

He is NOT being unreasonable. He is ill, and (wait for it) he is in another country so it is not as though he would even be here or be helping if he weren't ill in bed.

But instead of being sympathetic and kind, I was brittle and breezy just now on the phone. I am just SO JEALOUS.

Because with small children (one of whom is still bfing a lot), going to bed ill is just not an option for me. I have had days of looking after them feeling so rotten I was seeing double. None of which is particularly heart rending I know, and neither would it be solved by dh not going to bed when he is ill.

Go on, give me a MN kicking.

YANBU

He has a luxury you don't. It is entirely fair that he goes to bed when ill and a complete PITA that you can't. As long as you recognise that then you can understand why you feel how you do and make sure you don't take it out on him!

Not going to give you a kicking, I can understand why you'd feel like that, it must be really hard not having the support when you feel you need it the most even if it's nobodys fault.

Even though you feel like that, it might be best to scrape together the niceties when you're on the phone to him, he probably hates not being there to look after your DC when you need him to be.

You'll have to practice your sympathetic voice before you get on the phone to him, get it down to a fine art

How long's he away for?

Thanks both. I shall be convincingly sympathetic and concerned when I speak to him in the morning.

I know he thinks he has the rotten end of the deal, stuck away from home and ill. And I know that he's right. Probably. It is worse for him. But oh, what I wouln't give to be in a nice clean bed with hours and hours of uninterrupted sleep, no children climbing on me or widdling on me or waking me at 4am to wipe bottoms. I've not had so much as a 90 minute stretch of sleep for a few weeks now. And dh seems to be ill all the time these last couple of months - not with anything serious, just colds and tummy bugs. Meanwhile I have a sick 2yo upstairs in my bed.

I can't help it. I still feel jealous and hard done by. Ridiculous.

He's not away for long. He works away all week and then comes home for the weekends.