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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to get rid of our cat?

66 replies

mampam · 20/08/2010 10:58

Basically the main problem is that she howls(more of a hideous gurgling really) outside all night. At first we thought it was because we have to lock the cat flap, so if she does go out at night she can't come back in. The reason we do this is because other cats were coming in at night and going through the kitchen bin and spraying.

Being locked out at night isn't the problem though because on several occasions DH has got up and let her in but by the time he gets back upstairs she is back outside and making the god awful noise again.

I worry about her too as she does not very often venture out of our garden or driveway. Even if it is raining she sits outside in the rain and doesn't find shelter. I worry that in the winter if she won't find shelter, especially at night then she might freeze to death in the wind and rain.

Is there any hope for her? Any cat behaviour experts out there to help me with this before DH murders her as he is shattered from not being able to sleep.

OP posts:

Original poster

mampam · 20/08/2010 11:47

Unfortunately we barely have room in our house for 1 litter tray let alone 2.

Magnetic catflap wouldn't work to keep other cats out as our next door neighbour has one of these and still gets other cats (Toms)in her porch spraying.

TitsalinaBumSquash finally another person who understands what it's like to have a cat that does this. Our neighbours have started to complain about the noise too. Don't think there's an easy solution to this problem unfortunately.

OP posts:

TitsalinaBumSquash · 20/08/2010 11:48

I am down on my Cat in general at the moment she ripped the end of my nose off it was horrible there was blood everywhere and i have a lump type scar thing on my nose now, and it has only just healed, in her defence i was bathing her which as we know Cats hate but in my defence she had fleas and the Vet told me to.... she also enjoys climbing on the tallest bookcase and launching herself on sleepy unsuspecting people on thier way past in the night, and she weed in my new posh bag from M&S

2kids2dogsandahorse · 20/08/2010 11:50

lol your cats both sound erm challenging rather than senile/ill/distressed etc

ethelina · 20/08/2010 11:50

Sounds like your cat knows exactly how to get attention from you both. My cat occasionally sings under my bedroom window and he has full access in and out. We just ignore him, 10 minutes later he's back indoors if thats what he wants.

BTW we had a problem with an intruder cat. We had to get a magnetic flap to solve it. They're not brilliant but do the job.

Original poster

mampam · 20/08/2010 11:53

What I meant by she doesn't seem to do a lot is that she doesn't go off and roam/explore like other cats do, she doesn't even shelter under a bush or anything when it's raining, she just sits there and lets herself get soaked.

And before I'm being cruel about that, this is during the day when the cat flap is OPEN for her to come and go as SHE pleases but it is SHE who chooses not to come in out of the rain!

OP posts:

geekygiraffe · 20/08/2010 11:55

We had a similar problem- cats wanted to go out at night, but neighbour's evil cat would come in and wee. Agree magnetic catflaps no good - any cat with a magnet can get in... So we bought a microchip one. You scan your cat in to register its microchip, and then only the scanned cats can come in. It really works, and blocks other cats even if they're chasing yours. Bit expensive, but well worth the quieter nights and not having to clean stranger's cat wee up!

2kids2dogsandahorse · 20/08/2010 11:55

Aww mampam I don't think anyone thinks you're being cruel to your cat it's more the other way round if anything lol

Mollyfish · 20/08/2010 11:55

We has exactly the same problem, and this www.petporte.com/ has solved it brilliantly.It works on the cat's microchip, not its collar, so will only let your cat in. Not cheep, but worth it.

asouthwoldmummy · 20/08/2010 11:56

Ok preparing for a major flaming here. We had our cat rehomed (actually she belonged to the old lady who died whose flat we bought) when DS was 8 months old. She had very erratic behaviour, hated DSand would sit and howl outside very loudly all day long(she wouldn't come in when DS was up and would run away whenever we opened the door). We think she probably had a brain tumour explaing her stupid behaviour.
She was a major cause of stress and in the end it got too much to cope with. When she started shitting under the table rather than use her tray and with DS crawling around she had to go.(and no it wasn't an easy decision).
Of course you don't want to get rid of her, take her to the vet and have her checked over by all means. But sometimes you have to evaluate if the stress is worth it, you won't be alone!

Mollyfish · 20/08/2010 11:57

Ok, cross post plus should be "cheap". Still, at least yoiu know 2 of us think it works.

Original poster

mampam · 20/08/2010 11:58

Hmmmm there's no easy solution is there? We've put up with it since January so I think our hopes of her getting fed up and realising that she's not going to get anywhere are severely dashed!!

I just hope that when it's winter and the radiator is on she may prefer to stay in and snuggle up on her bed next to that instead of howling outside!!

OP posts:

OptimistS · 20/08/2010 11:59

I read somewhere that cats don't like catflaps. To them it's the equivalent of us going to bed leaving the front door unlocked. The trouble is that even with the magnetic ones that supposedly only let in your own cat, the cat in question doesn't know this. The fact that s/he can come in means in his/her mind that any other cat can come in too.

I've been a veteran cat owner for years and these days I don't bother with a cat flap. Yes, you have to get up to let them in or out, but you'd be surprised at how quickly they adapt - you're not constantly having to get up and open the door.

My advice would be to board up the catflap and buy two litter trays, the type with hoods. You can leave them in the kitchen overnight when you go to bed and put them outside in the daytime.

Hope you get some sleep soon.

ethelina · 20/08/2010 12:03

Mampam my ginger cat is the same as yours when it comes to rain. I think they just like it! In fact my and your cat sound about as thick as each other

Original poster

mampam · 20/08/2010 12:06

Thanks for the link Mollyfish. Does seem like a good idea. Might take some convincing for DH to let me spend that much for a cat that he doesn't like very much anymore. There is always a chance too that it wouldn't make any difference, that she would still howl outside at night.

Think first stop vets for an extra check up though.

OP posts:

susitwoshoes · 20/08/2010 12:07

it could be the baby in that she's started to realise the baby's there and taking you away from her if you see what I mean - one of our cats (the other one being feral so out most of the time anyway) took a while to realise what was going on and has behaved a bit oddly ever since, killing 5 birds in the space of a fortnight (having not been a bird killer previously) and not always sleeping on our bed even though DD is now in her own room. DP makes sure he gives her as much attention as is possible as it's a bit difficult for me to always be there for her.

We also had problems with a tom coming in and spraying and because of our cats being a bit feral magnetic collars were not an option (you can't touch one of them) so we went for a cat flap that works on their microchip so no collar needed - works a dream, after the tom crashed into it a couple of times we never saw him again. If I can find it on the net will post a link - not cheap but worth it.

susitwoshoes · 20/08/2010 12:08

is a cat flap that works on their microchip

asouthwoldmummy · 20/08/2010 12:09

Sorry mampam I meant to ask what the previous owner was like? As ours belonged to an old lady we think she was treated more like a spoilt child than a cat, therefore wanting attention all of the time. If this is the case there might not be anything that will help with the yowling, it could just be how she is!

AbsOfCroissant · 20/08/2010 12:11

Has anyone suggested you bribe a neighbour to "steal the cat's affection" and get it to leave through "coercion"

this thread

Original poster

mampam · 20/08/2010 12:12

ethelina 'thick' is the perfect word to sum it up really

OptimistS I didn't know you could get litter trays with hoods.

My mum's cat doesn't have a cat flap and hers gets put out at night and always has done for the past 15 years. She doesn't come in until my dad gets up for work in the morning and doesn't howl outside all night either!

OP posts:

coraltoes · 20/08/2010 12:14

The cat flap that works with microchips works... not sure why you're not looking into one of these?

Pur cats magnetic collars weer a pain in the end, one came home with a dessert spoon on her neck. Hilarious until she got stuck in the cat flap with it.

Original poster

mampam · 20/08/2010 12:16

asouthwoldmummy yes our cat's previous owner was an old lady who had to go into a home so could no longer have a cat.

Our cat will very rarely let us give her affection, when we bend down to try and stroke her she just runs over to her food dish and starts begging for food!

OP posts:

ethelina · 20/08/2010 12:21

Agree. Havent had any particular problems with the magnetic one except even my bright cat took a week or so to work out he needed to put his collar low to get in. Took thicky ginger about 6 weeks but he got there in the end.

I would definitely consider the microchip one if I had any problems, except for the price tag.

OptimistS · 20/08/2010 12:44

Litter tray with hood here though I'm sure you can get them from supermarkets and ebay as well.

Mollyfish · 20/08/2010 13:02

One thing to watch oput for is that the (cheaper) sureflap microchip one won't work if your washing machine is anywhere near your catflap (too much metal for that model). The Petporte is more expensive, but not affected by the washing machine.

Islandlady · 20/08/2010 13:09

Sorry I am going to be a bit harsh.

First of all are you quite sure you will get invaded by local cats we have an ederly timid almost toothless cat but NO other cat is allowed to come into our house, he sees them off sharpish after a few tussles they dont come back yours might suprise you by defending her territory

You have only had her for just over a year, sorry it takes longer for some cats to settle in, ours was a rescue cat, he hated us at first and for the first 2 years what
few teeth he had would draw blood as he hated being touched or stroked, now he is the most loving and happy cat you could wish for.

And if you do get rid of her, where will she go, I volunteer in a cat rescue centre and its heartbreaking to see the older cats being overlooked whilst the cute kittens and younger cats are snapped up.

We have an elderly cat there at the moment and I have seen him go from a friendly boy who would rush to to glass to greet you to a cat who now barely raises his head - he knows he is not going anywhere and seems to have given up hope, I would have him in a heartbeat but its not fair on mine.

Give her a chance try leaving the cat flap open, lock her in at night and get litter trays or buy some ear plugs but dont discard her - she deserves a loving home

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