to not want my 8 yr old DS to go to the park alone with his 5 yr old cousin?

[MrsFC]

Good morning all,

I was having a discussion with my SIL last night and she was saying that she would be happy to let her DS go to her local park with no adults if my DS was with her. Her park is in the middle of the country and there are no raods to cross to get there and apparently it's only a little bit further than the end of the garden, but cannot be seen from the house.

I said quite DEFINITELY NOT. I would be worried about strangers and also who would be there if one of them fell off a piece of apparatus and hurt themselves. I am also uncomfortable with my 8 yr old having the responsibility of being in charge.

She said I WBU, and didn't I want my child to have the freedom I had when I was young. Now I live in London & she lives in the countryside, so have I forgotten what is the norm & developed an unreasonable fear or am I right to not let them go?

Looking forward with interst to your thoughts...

We were always finding porn mags stashed under bushes in the park ..you don't get that now

YANBU

It would also be a no for me, but I'm a (newly registered) childminder and that influences my opinions on these matters.

Just knowing some of the children I work with, even the sensible responsible 8 years old are too young to look after a 5 year old.

I agree with all the other posters who have said YANBU.

I wouldn't let my 8 year old ds go to the park witH A FRIEND, ESPECIALLY NOT THIS TIME OF YEAR.

Our local rec is a haunt for gangs of bored teenagers and they would make easy prey, frankly.

i let ds ride on his bike ahead of me and dd last week, and he was upset by the time I got there, after a group of older kids taunted him.

Mine used to go to the park on their own (rural Bucks) or build "camps"in the moat aged 8 and 5. They are now trusted to walk to meet me for lunch in Paris (about 40 minutes) or get the bus or RER if they prefer. They are now 9 and 11. DD1 gets the train home from the suburb where her school is if she is meeting friends, and I meet her at St Lazare. I don't buy the "paedophile on every corner" argument, although I do agree that traffic is a much bigger risk than it was. But I am tired of seeing children of 14 and 15 who have never caught a bus or train on their own before as their parents take them everywhere in the car for their own safety. When are they going to be allowed to grow up?

I know of a 15 year old boy, almost 16, who went on his first date to a pizza place - his Mum took him there - fair enough, perhaps, but she also sat at another table in the restaurant so that she could make sure that "no harm came to him." (Her words.)

Put it another way, would you leave an 8 year old and a 5 year old home alone?

No way. Mainly because your 8 yr old should have to be responsible for the 5 yr old. I may "consider" letting an 8 yr old out alone.

Secona you let your 6 yr old and 3 yr old out to play alone? We live in a very nice and what would be considered "safe" area, but I find that impossible to even get my head around. I have a very "grown up" 6 yr old and the thought of letting her walk off to the park by herself scares the hell out of me. Even very mature children of this age do not poccess the common sense needed to spend time alone without adult supervision - they are still young children however well behaved and sensible they may appear! A 3 yr old?!? Still a baby really! Certainly too young to be out of sight of an adult for any period of time at all. I think that's totally irresponsible.

as the park is so near I think it's ok

My post was supposed to say " as the 8 yr old should NOT have to be responsible.

I am not a parent who is totally over protective of my daughter, I like her to explore her own freedom and make her own decisions, I will be letting her out alone way before 14/15! However, she is 6, still FAR too young to be going anywhere alone.

To the poster who said they are in a small village and the park is overlooked by houses on 3 sides - you are seriously going to leave your 3 year old baby unsupervised??(which is what it is - even if houses overlook the park, how do you know someone will be sitting their watching from their window?) - your 3 and 5 yr olds will be outside and unsupervised. I couldnt sit and have a cuppa whilst knowing my kids of that age were off playing down the park! Jeez, we are responsible for out own kids and looking after them and keeping them safe, why rely on neighbours (who may be out or busy to watchingt their own kids to watch them, why would you ever think "hmm why am I bothering to sit here and watch them" ...because you're the parent, that's why! - that's your job. They can have their freedom when they are 9/10+ not at 3 and 5!

It's not just about paedophiles, there are all sorts of people I wouldnt want my young child coming into contact with without me there - paedophiles of course, flashers, violent people, older kids looking to bully younger ones, people will mental health issues who may be violent etc etc. Also what if they get lost? Fall and injure themselves? lose a ball and run in the road? All possible scenarios when children are only 3/4/5/6!