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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

or are my neighbours utter utter arses

14 replies

Monison · 19/08/2010 11:24

We live in a Victorian terraced house and as courtesy to our neighbours we make every effort to keep our family noise within reasonable limits (ie we make sure we never have a heavy bass blasting through the wall, we don't try and simulate a cinema experience when watching TV and DD is able to communicate (mostly) without shouting her head off Wink. We're not saintly, just aware that other people may not want to share in our every activity. Why then do our neighbours think it's ok to crank up the music whenever they're in the mood so that we have to put up with a throbbing bass all evening? They recently had a party with music on full blast until 4am and their son was playing the fucking drums ffs in the room next to where dd was sleeping. Angry AIBU to think that people need to keep their noise to themselves or am I being an intolerant party pooper?

OP posts:
LucyLouLou · 19/08/2010 11:26

YANBU but how often do the parties happen, and how often does the music and drums become intolerable?

Mowiol · 19/08/2010 11:29

No YANBU. If this is regular can you approach them and have a wee word? If you get nowhere then Environmental Health can come out and monitor noise levels. Did they warn you about the party?
Friend of mine had similar situation and her neighbours were awful and unapproachable. She got EH involved.

MissCromwell · 19/08/2010 11:32

YANBU.

Even if it was a one-off - doesn't sound like it was - 4am!!! that is torture by sleep deprivation. A friend of mine almost had a breakdown because neighbours kept doing this to her.

I would start recording dates and times so you can report them to the council if necessary.

Ephiny · 19/08/2010 11:35

YANBU, I live in a similar house, and while you have to accept that in an older terraced house you're going to be able to hear your neighbours sometimes, people need to be a bit considerate with the loud music etc, and playing the drums at night is obviously unreasonable.

We got soundproofing put in and it definitely helps with blocking out the day-to-day noises (being able to hear their conversations, toilet flushing, television at normal volume etc) it wouldn't stop loud music or drumming.

WhatTheWhat · 19/08/2010 11:39

Here's what a friend of mine's solicitor husband wrote to their neighbours - 4 of whom are professional DJs in a rented mid terrace Victorian house...(!!!!!)

Dear Sirs

Amplified Music at [ ]

I am writing to you following the recent conversations my wife and I have had with you about the noise emanating from your property. In this respect I am writing both on behalf of ourselves and [ ] who live on the other side of our house in [ ].

It is unfortunately the case that disagreements over music and other noise can quickly get out of hand and sour the relationship between neighbours. We are keen to avoid this if at all possible so I thought it best to set out our position in writing so you can be absolutely clear where we are coming from.

We have also spoken to various members of your household at different times and I wanted to provide you all with an opportunity to consider the impact your music is having on us. Given that at least four of you are professional DJ's and are therefore presumably sharing the equipment in your downstairs room I also wanted to give you the chance to discuss the proposals we are putting forward in this letter before you respond.

As you will be aware, we have a 20 week old daughter and [ ] is currently on maternity leave following her birth. [ ] in Number [ ] also have a young son and I understand that [ ] is also on maternity leave. As a result the properties on both sides of your house are occupied for much of the day as well as in the evenings. While it is clear that you are all passionate about your music and you have stated that you need to practice regularly, the fact that your music (and particularly the bass) is clearly audible in all rooms of our house and in the garden when you do play it does have a significant impact on us during the day and in the evenings. This is particularly the case when you play music for extended periods of time.

While you have assured us that you are keeping the noise a minimum, you should be aware that your music is disruptive to our lives. It is clearly audible in all rooms of our house including our daughter's bedroom, the bathroom and our front room whenever it is played and the level of the bass means that this noise interferes with our ability to watch television at a reasonable volume or simply enjoy being in the house. The music renders our middle downstairs room (which is adjacent to the room with your decks in it) practically unusable when you are playing music which is of further inconvenience in the evenings as I often work from home and this is nominally my office.

The music is also clearly audible in our garden, particularly as you tend to have windows open when you are playing. This is of sufficient volume to prevent us listening to our own music and can be so disruptive that [ ] and her friends who visit during the day sometimes feel unable to sit outside. This is particularly annoying when the weather has been so hot recently. The level of noise audible outside your property also means that we often have to keep our own windows closed. This is not only unpleasant in hot weather but in the case of our daughter's room is potentially dangerous as small babies should not be left to sleep rooms where the temperature exceeds 24 degrees ? with the windows shut it has recently been a struggle to keep the temperature below this level.

In [ ]'s recent discussions with you I understand that you have conceded that your music probably is audible in our house on a regular basis but pointed out that a number of you are professional DJs and therefore some disruption is only to be expected. With respect, this response fails to take into account both your legal obligations not to inflict nuisance on adjoining houses but also the level of compromise which is necessary to get on with your neighbours in a residential terrace.

Strictly speaking, any amplified music which is audible outside of your property can constitute a private nuisance particularly if the nature of the noise, the frequency, duration or times at which it is generated, make it particularly disruptive. In an ideal world we would prefer not to hear any music or other noise from the adjoining properties (as I am sure you would) but it is the nature of terraced houses of this type that some noise is only to be expected. However, we do consider that loud amplified music every day goes beyond what is normal or reasonable.

We do however recognise that you have made efforts to minimise the impact your music has on our lives and in particular have stopped playing it in the evenings and have reduced the volume to a certain extent. You have noted that this is a departure from your usual practice in your previous property. I cannot comment on what level of noise was acceptable to your previous neighbours as much would depend on the nature of the property, their lifestyles and when they were in their homes. The fact remains that even with the changes you have adopted your music remains extremely disruptive to us and Amy in particular is finding that the frequency at which your music is played during the day increasingly distressing.

If at all possible we do not want to get into a dispute with you in this respect. We recognise that practicing your mixing is part and parcel of your jobs and you therefore you want to do this on a regular basis. Our initial reaction to this assertion was that if regular practice is vital for your jobs then you should find commercial premises in which to practice rather than doing so in a residential area. In the alternative we have considered whether it is reasonable to require you to sound-proof the room with the decks in it so the noise is no longer audible. However, we suspect that financial constraints and/or your landlord's interests may make either of these options impractical.

In the interests of getting along we are therefore prepared to accept a certain amount of audible music provided this is on terms which are acceptable to us. These terms are as follows:

  1. You agree only to play music on your decks between 9am and 7pm which is when our daughter goes to bed. You have already adopted this practice so I presume this should not be too onerous a request.

  2. You agree that you will play for no more than 1 hour at a time. Part of the current problem is not knowing for how long the music is going to go on and having this certainty will make it much easier to bear. It also allows us the option of going out if we know the music will have stopped by the time we come back.

  3. You agree not to play music on more than two occasions during the day and with a minimum of 2 hours between these sessions.

  4. You agree to play music at the minimum possible volume at which you can still practice effectively. I entirely understand that the use of headphones is not practical for your purposes but the level of bass from your sound system does mean that even at comparably low volumes it is still clearly audible in our house.

  5. You agree to keep the windows of your middle downstairs room closed when you are playing to minimise the noise which escapes into the garden and/or in through our windows.

For the avoidance of doubt, these terms only apply to music from your mixing equipment in the middle downstairs room. As matters stand we have no complaint about music from other stereos or noise from the TV etc. That is of course not an invitation to start playing loud music on other systems!

We hope that these proposals do provide a mutually acceptable solution which will allow us to enjoy our property while still allowing you to practice. We would be happy to discuss this further with you to agree a compromise but I should make it clear that we are not able to deviate too far from the terms set out above without our lives continuing to be unreasonably affected by your activities.

If it is not possible to agree to suitable conditions or these are not adhered to then, reluctantly, we will have no option but to take more formal steps to prevent you from playing amplified music at a level which causes us nuisance or annoyance. This will include notifying your landlord, [ ], and potentially an application to [ ] Council's Noise Pollution department to seek a Noise Abatement Order. You should be aware that breach of such an order can result in heavy fines or even the confiscation of your equipment.

However, we sincerely hope this is not necessary and we can agree a mutually acceptable course of action which enables all of us to live our lives without too much disruption. It is clearly in all of our interests to avoid confrontation where possible and this the approach we will seek to adopt.

Yours sincerely

zingzillachinchilla · 19/08/2010 11:47

Monison - I feel for you, such noise disturbance really wears you down

WhatTheWhat - Hmm
What was the neighbours response?? And that was them trying to avoid getting formal? Blimey!

MyMamaToldMe · 19/08/2010 11:47

Whatthewhat - thank goodness I don't have neighbours like that! Your poor friends.

kayah · 19/08/2010 11:50

I am not advising you to do that but in case of my friend no discussions and requests about loud music helped until one day, after a loud party, seh woke up at 7 am, put her hi-vi on, speakers against the wall quite loudly and went to sleep at her mums getting home only by 7 pm to turn her music off

the message was loud enough...

Monison · 19/08/2010 12:14

WOW - impressive letter! God imagine living next to four DJs with a tiny baby! Your poor friend Sad. Our neighbours are not that bad. The 4am incident was a one-off but once too often for me. Hmm I actually think I am a bit intolerant about noise generally: I have come across people who have advised us to just turn our TV/music up. What if we want to read a book? Why is it a right to make noise all the fecking time anyway?

OP posts:
Monison · 19/08/2010 12:16

Kayah - although I like your friend's style Grin

OP posts:
lifeas3plus1 · 19/08/2010 12:40

whatthewhat

"This is not only unpleasant in hot weather but in the case of our daughter's room is potentially dangerous as small babies should not be left to sleep rooms where the temperature exceeds 24 degrees ? with the windows shut it has recently been a struggle to keep the temperature below this level"

sorry to be really dim but is the above statement a fact? And if it is what age range are we talking?

My 16 month old for the last god knows how long has had to sleep in a room of 27 degree's because we can't have the windows In his room open because of the neighbours noise.

Sorry to hijack the post.

Monison no yanbu. Your neighbours sound lovely. Much like mine Hmm

WhatTheWhat · 19/08/2010 18:45

Dunno whether it's a fact. Our little one has to tolerate 26 27 in our stuffy house and she has been ok.

The neighbours went quiet for a long time, but have got noisy again.

I think that they know the landlord, so are giving them one or two more chances before getting them turfed out.

I have wondered about the fight fire with fire, thing (speakers up against the wall etc), but they would always win that kind of battle, wouldn't they? So much less to lose...? [We have some KICK ASS speakers, though, so it would work if we ever chose to do it!

PS - we went round to our neigbours when we got the kick ass speakers to sound-heck what level they could hear.

WhatTheWhat · 19/08/2010 18:47

Sound-heck - what a great typo: that's what my friend is living through. [replace with sound-check]

bibbitybobbityhat · 19/08/2010 18:54

Well, obviously, yanbu.

There - feel better now?

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