to be at the end of my teather with best friend!

[nomorebooze]

Hello peeps! My best friend of 17yrs keeps doing the same thing in regards to relationships.

She sees a man who she knows isnt good for her, slates him behind his back eventually dumps him after he does something which she calls the last straw!!![ sometimes a yr later ] then crys her eyes out on me that hes a bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb then swears she wont do it again. blah blah blah.

Then to top it all off i hear a few months later shes seeing him again, wwwwwhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy???????.

The last time she repeated this senario we had a good chat, and she asked me to be firm with her and point it out to her if she did it again! so here we are again, pointed it out and shes gone quite and funny with me!!!!!!

i told her i was there for her and if that was what she wanted i would always be there for her.

The other bizarre thing is whenever she meets someone, she has never introduced them to any of her friends, this to me says alot, why would you do that?

How do i handle this? its starting to really piss me off! and i dont want to feel this way with her!

Any advice please?

YABU she's either your friend or not. Friends support one another without judgement. You've given her your opinion. Either be there for her or cut her loose.

back away from the relationship aspect. distance youself. be non committal. don't engage in conversation about it. She's got her man. to her, this is It, The One. he is great, wonderful... underneath. she can change him ... possibly nobody else knows him like she does!

something about her seems to be seeking out a certain type of person. until she can understand why she does this and work on it, she's not going to change. she probably knows she's doing this again, repeating this pattern, and that's why she's being funny with you. people SAY they want you to be straight with them, but they don't mean it and they don't like it

when this goes tits up again, she needs to work out WHY she keeps doing this. That's when you can perhaps support her to go to relate or something, so she can get some insight into her behaviour.

Thanks HQOW. I have had indepth conversations with her surrounding this, only last month, when she was in floods over her ex ex!!! and am always sensitve when speaking to her about exs, as im well aware she may go back to them. I dont want her to feel she cant talk about them to me!

I will try to mention relate but now deep down theres no chance!!!!!

sad isn't it, when you feel so helpless?

What's her dad like?

That sounds so amateur psych, doesn't it but quite often there may be something in such relationships that plays out in adult romantic relationships. Not always by any stretch, but enough for even me to have noticed!

It's not quite the same thing but I have a really good friend who I can chat to for hours and we have the best fun on nights out but I can not stand her children. Really I shouldn't blame them, what I hate is the way my friend doesn't discipline them and they know if they whinge and whine for long enough she'll give in.

We constantly have the 10 minutes of literally high pitched screaming and crying while she sits there saying 'no you aren't having this/that/the other' then she gets cross, can't stand the noise anymore and gives in. I feel like saying to her just give them what ever they want to start with and save us all the 10 minutes of sheer hell...

It is not some other I could ever discuss with her, you wouldn't ever tell anyone there kids p*ss you off more than anything else in the world would you but the wonder of MN is that I feel better for sharing!!!

x

HQOW - her dads lovely although she does still live at home [trying to save for deposit on a house!] i dont know where she gets this from? She is definatley avoiding me, she was supposed to ring for a natter last night nothing! text her today and tried phoning nothing! it really upsets me im supposed to be her best friend!!!!!! doesnt look like it to me? I think she is an avoider, she likes an easy life. At this rate though shes gonna push everyone away!

CB - thanks for your story! started to think it was me