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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not have moved DS1 after 18months

15 replies

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 18/08/2010 20:36

of going to nursery once a week and STILL being tearful at drop off, often clinging to my neck.....

Seems happy when collected but it is large and busy and he tends to hate toddler groups which are large and busy.....

AIBU to have kept him there as it is very convienent and DS2 is about to start?

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 18/08/2010 20:39

personally i would probably have taken him out a long time ahgo.

but i don't know all the ins and outs!

rainbowinthesky · 18/08/2010 20:41

Cant say I would have kept him there either. Once a week is pretty hard especially if doesnt like busy places.

Original poster

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 18/08/2010 20:42

Main problem is that the alternatives which can take him and his brother are all very similar in size and environment. My other choices don't take under 2's so they would be seperated and I can't get to 2 locations before work.

The trouble is he gets his free entilement from Jan and will then HAVE to go more than our current 1 day a week or will lose him place......

OP posts:

rainbowinthesky · 18/08/2010 20:43

It may be that going more than 1 day would be better tbh. It must be incredibly difficult to get truly settled only going this often.

thisisyesterday · 18/08/2010 20:43

presume this is so you can work?
have you thought about other types of settings? childminder or something?>

can you use v0ouchers for childminders??

sausagelover · 18/08/2010 20:44

I think YANBU as long as he is happy once you have gone.

thisisyesterday · 18/08/2010 20:44

and yes, rainbows point had occured to me too. i was advised to put ds1 in for at least 2 days but preferably more so that he could settle.
in fact his nursery now have a minimum of 2 sessions a week

it can be hard for them to properly settle with one session a week because the other children make groups of friends as they are there more often, and a week is a long time between visits too

Original poster

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 18/08/2010 20:46

Have considered and looked at childminders but I thought nursery from Jan would be good prep for starting school??

OP posts:

Madinitials · 18/08/2010 20:47

I wanted my daughter to go to nursery one day a week but they said they no longer do one-dayers because every (say) Monday is like a new start for the child all over again. One of their one dayers cries like the first time each time his mom drops him off, as though he has never been there.

Hence my daughter goes two mornings a week but I don't work.

thisisyesterday · 18/08/2010 20:49

i dunno... when would he start school? next sept.

i think it depends so much on the individual child tbh.
i do know children who have had no childcare at all before starting school and who have been absolutely fine.

i would probably follow his lead tbh. does he say why he doesn't like it?

TonariNoTotoro · 18/08/2010 20:52

DS goes once a week, he's been going for almost 2 years now, and occasionally he does still cry when I'm leaving him. I KNOW that he's absolutely fine there (he stops crying as soon as I've gone) and I KNOW that he has a great time there as he chats on about it for ages.

It's just more difficult for them when it's one day a week, that's all.

I wouldn't have pulled DS out, I couldn't have done anyway, I need to work!!

BertieBasset · 18/08/2010 20:53

Same as Mad - my DD's nursery insisted on 2 days a week. Maybe up his hours and see how he gets on?

pozzling · 18/08/2010 20:55

I would either have looked for an alternative e.g. childminders, or booked him in for more sessions so that he could get a bit more settled (maybe another 2 mornings as well as the original day). My DD cried at drop-off for the first few weeks, and again when she was moved to a different room- but 18 months does sound like a very long time to still be upset. What have the nursery suggested? How do they say he is during the day?

curlymama · 18/08/2010 21:00

Definately see how he gets on doing more hours. A week inbetween each visit is a long time when you are very little, and he probably hasn't had a chance to get to know the other children very well or bond with any of the adults. And the other children will have got to know eachother better and won't give him as much attention if he's not around often.

He may feel more settled when his little brother is there as well.

I do think 18 monthsis a very long time for a situation like this to go on though. I'm surprised the nursery haven't suggested upping his days before.

Original poster

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 18/08/2010 21:09

They promise me 10mins after I've left he is very happy, although they have just moved rooms and they did say he was wobbly the first day they moved and needed lots of cuddles. I think DS2 going will really help, although after 2 months they will be in different rooms and I can see that causing upset....The 3 days starts in Jan.

OP posts:

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