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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get annoyed by the media's portrayal of "UGLY" stretch marks

51 replies

nowit · 18/08/2010 18:53

I keep seeing more and more TV and magazine ads that call stretch marks ugly. I'm not arguing that stretch marks are wonderful, fabulous, blah blah blah, but for some of us ladies they are inevitable no matter what lotions and potions we use because of genes, skin type whatever!

My stretch marks are right up to my rib cage so no more bikini's for me but I have excepted them as a part of me. In the end they were caused by having my lovely DC's and they are never going to disappear so I have excepted and moved on. Being confronted by "avoid UGLY stretch marks by using our product" just makes me angry Angry

I mainly get annoyed because if I was PG for the first time and saw one of these ads then stretch marks appeared, It would fuel the feelings of "I'm ugly, horrible" etc etc

AIBU?

OP posts:
RonansMummy · 18/08/2010 22:08

the ones on the tops of my thighs appeared after ds was born! weird or what!

Original poster
nowit · 18/08/2010 22:14

lol Grin soo with you on the hair, since becoming a mum, hair has sprung up like crazy!

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 18/08/2010 22:14

I haven't even had children and I have stretchmarks on my bum and hips from puberty. They are silvery and quite nice in an odd way.

I love wearing bikinis, even though they show up much more when I have a tan.

RedFraggle · 18/08/2010 22:15

Ok. I'm going to buck the trend...

I have stretch-marks on my tummy, hips and thighs. I hate them.

They ARE ugly.

Yes, yes I know I got them through carrying two babies so they are a 'wonderful' thing....

My arse.

I hate them. Fact is creams etc don't work, I am stuck with them. They are a by product of pregnancy with my genes...

Doesn't mean I have to like them...

Be honest. What would you rather see? Smooth, clear skin or ugly, welt like stretchmarks?

Original poster
nowit · 18/08/2010 22:15
OP posts:
mamatomany · 18/08/2010 22:15

I've had 4 children and don't have any at all, but that's genes not creams.

LindyHemming · 18/08/2010 22:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TrillianAstra · 18/08/2010 22:16

Oh yes, and DP has stretchmarks around his knees if you look carefully (obv not v noticeable on hairy man legs) from growth spurts.

Original poster
nowit · 18/08/2010 22:17

red read initial post, I am with you, I don't think they are amazing, just don't think the media needs to fuel the idea that they are ugly iykwim

OP posts:
RedFraggle · 18/08/2010 22:21

Think it's just a statement of fact though. The 'media' is populated by people after all...

Surely if people think they are ugly then that this an opinion that will be aired?

Original poster
nowit · 18/08/2010 22:23

just don't often hear them being referred to as normal? other than by mums

OP posts:
RedFraggle · 18/08/2010 22:27

I've never heard them referred to as 'abnormal' though. Just ugly. Which they are.

The adverts for products claiming to stop them appearing or fade them faster are irritating, I agree. Because it's all lies. But then so is at least 90% of the 'beauty' industry Grin

Original poster
nowit · 18/08/2010 22:29

ugly/abnormal, potato/potarto ?

OP posts:
JaneS · 18/08/2010 22:42

Would we think they were ugly if we weren't constantly told about it, though? This is pure digression, but there's a funny passage in a Louis de Bernieres book, when the expat white woman offers her copy of Vogue to the Central American men she lives near - and they think the hairless women in the pictures are ill.

Might it not be the same with stretchmarks?

Btw, Morloth, I think you are right: they just think, 'Mmm, nice!', not 'Hmm, red marks detract from the Naked Woman'.

TheDoodler · 18/08/2010 22:44

The ads for biooil etc. - are just horrid. Stretch amrks is one thing but calling scars ugly??? They should not be allowed to get away with it "felt like less of a woman" - WTF!!!

I have scars on my legs / ankles / feet from a nasty accident a few years ago and surgery afterwards. I still wear shorts / copped trousers / knee length dresses and sod it to be honest.

How dare they tell me i'm ugly just because i have scars Angry ???

Original poster
nowit · 18/08/2010 22:47

here here doodler Grin

OP posts:
RedFraggle · 18/08/2010 22:50

That bio-oil ad drives me insane..

'I'd always been reluctant to try bio-oil..'

Why? Why would anyone be reluctant to try a cream? Fuck off!

And sorry but I know how my skin looked before stretch-marks and how it looks after. It looked much, much better before of course. Therefore, stretch-marks have made my skin uglier...

Twist it any way you want but that is my own personal truth. It has fuck all to do with the media and 100% to do with what I see when I look in the mirror...

Valpollicella · 18/08/2010 22:50

Good point Doodler

Original poster
nowit · 18/08/2010 22:54

red of course if that is your truth then that's absolutely fine, it's just sad that you feel that a part of you is ugly :(
i don't like mine, but i have learnt to except them. They aren't attractive, but ugly is pushing it, they are part of me and I am not ugly, therefore ...

OP posts:
Booboobedoo · 18/08/2010 22:57

I'm reluctant to try Bio Oil because it costs £20.

For oil.

I really genuinely like my stretch-marks.

Getting pregnant was complicated and soul-destroying, pregnancy was hideous and abject, but I got through it and came out the other side.

I regard them as battle-scars, and feel all Boudica-ish when I catch sight of them in the mirror.

TheDoodler · 18/08/2010 22:58

Grin - thankyou ladies. When you come bloody close to losing your right foot it grates somewhat...

I have stretchmarks too btw - although they are somewhat overshadowed by general roundness of figure.

Chandon · 19/08/2010 07:45

Oh, I never worry about stetch marks. Have them all over my thighs as I rapidly expanded from beanpole to woman when 16.

My DH doesn`t even know what stretchmarks ARE.

It`s the sort of thing only women fret about, like cellulite.

I have both, and still wear a bikini. Don`t get all these hang ups. Who came up with the idea that you need to be perfect to wear a bikini?

Goblinchild · 19/08/2010 07:54

I agree with those saying that most men don't think it's an issue. It's another case of women creating a problem for other women.
Looks at somewhat hairy, rather rotund anatomy with occasional stretchmark. Doesn't give a stuff. Grin
My OH would wonder about my mental health if I went for a Brazilian wax for example. He'd worry about the need to self-harm.

TakeLovingChances · 19/08/2010 10:35

OP - YANBU Grin

I'm Irish with pale skin that doesn't tan and gets freckles. It's a known fact that Irish people get stretch marks (I'm making that bit up) so I knew I'd be buggered by pregnancy.

Turns out I was right. I have stretch marks on my tummy and boobs from having DS but I don't CARE! I actually quite like them and haven't rushed down to the shops to buy bio-oil or some similar product. Which in media terms makes me a 100% nutbag.

I sometimes joke "there's a tiger in the zoo that wants her belly back" cuz my belly is covered in stripes, but I do it in an affectionate way.

My bikini isn't in use anymore cuz of my bit of belly fat and my stretch marks, but I don't mind.

I'd rather have a lovely healthy DS and a bit of a messy tummy than the alternative, which is not to have had DS at all.

CakeandRoses · 19/08/2010 21:40

I have a truckload on my arse, thighs and boobs from puberty but rather oddly the stretchmark fairy barely waved her wand in my tummy's direction during my 2 pregnancies. Weird.

I'm not that worried about them as they're so normal - don't think I have a friend who doesn't have them.