To think that women who treat their own pregnancy as some kind of 'illness' and 'debilitating' within the work environment are a bloody PITA

[tiredemma]

Sorry- I know that I am going to get flamed for this, and will have people saying "well how do you know that they dont have an illness"....

Im beyond bored and frustrated with working with workshy oiks (who were workshy prior to conception btw) treating their own pregnancy as some kind of debilitating disease, one which renders them incapable of arriving for work on time, allows them to skulk off early at the end of a shift and even have the audacity to sit next to a ringing telephone without having the ability to answer the bloody thing in case they "cant direct it to the relevant person correctly"

I have had two children, I have worked FT through both pregnancies, I dont recall it being a reason to turn into a bone-idle miserable waste of space.

ARGH!

Just because someone is lazy, it doesn't mean they can't also feel ill while pregnant.

It's unfortunate for her that her previous behaviour has given rise to irritation now, when she may genuinely feel unwell.

I had an easy pregnancy I worked right until the end (worked until Thursday, baby born early sat morning), was having BH contractions non stop last day at work, I didn't take time off for appointments (as I work part-time) and got the tube to work right to the end.

When I said at the end I might not be in tomorrow it was because I might have had the baby!!!!!!

I even went to Liverpool at 35 weeks to give a presentation to 100 people and had an overnight stay.

BUT I didn't have any symptoms other than v mild nausea at the start that was managable with listening to morningwell and constant nibbling of crackers.

In my first pregnancy I was very insominiac at the end so took each Wed off as annual leave from around 32 weeks to catch up on sleep. I would not have been able to function otherwise.

BUT I think you are being VVVV unreasonable. Yes there are those who are a bit precious (ie my colleagues couldn't believe I was prepared to work right until the end) but some people have truly swful symptoms and just can't work.

"It doesn't mean that your individual colleagues aren't workshy oiks. They could well be. But generalising about women who find pregnancy debilitating and using anecdotal "I have had two children..." evidence to back that up is BU."

you are right. I agree- what I did in my pregnancy is irrelevant. I should not have put that in my post.

why do I always click on these threads when they make me cry at how nasty some people are? think I will hide it....

TiredEmma - you don't know how this person is feeling and you would not necessarily have seen your colleague throw up; most people with this kind of problem go to great lengths to not do it in front of people. For instance, leaving work early when you know you can't hold the vomit in much longer rather than do it there and look all dishevelled & distressed in front of possibly unsympathic colleagues.

I sailed through my first pregnancy, and have now realised that I have been a smug bitch about it for the last 7 years. This time for the the 1st 16 weeks I learn't my lesson and felt ill like I never thought possible to the point of having to defer 2 if my uni exams.

Your colleague may be a lazy cow and milking her pregnancy for all its worth, but there is always a case for walking a mile in someone else's shoes before judging them.

i think YANBU in terms of the colleagues you refer to who were lazy before pregnancy.. if they are unable to do their jobs properly, then surely it is better to be signed off and cover arranged, rather than sitting next to a ringing 'phone. if they are rendered that incapable, they should not be in the office.

however, YABU if you think women are not debilitated by pregnancy ever

in my first pregnancy i was sick from 5 weeks. each and every day at least 3 times a day.never late for work, had to sometimes throw up in the wastebin as could not get to the loo. did not finish work until politely encouraged to leave at 34 weeks after a fall and bleeding.

but i am sure there are some women who could not carry on regardless, who would have felt worse and would not have been able to work. or come to work and be productive.

hyperemesis would make it virtually impossible to work. but that is different ot being workshy or using pregnancy as an excuse

lazy people are a PITA

no shit sherlock

tiredemma - everyone is jumping on you because you generalised hugely in your thread title. And several of the sanctimonious responses haven't helped either.

The problem is, that as a pregnant woman who does need to take time off work the guilt is huge. You know that people will very likely be moaning because they have to pick up your workload, and there is always someone who is pregnant at the same time as you or has been pregnant recently who was lucky enough to feel well and healthy during their pregnancies who is making all the

'7 months pg and 0 days sick leave'

'I worked until I was in labour'

'I worked fulltime during all my pregnancies'

type comments. Which just makes you feel extra shit about yourself.

Oh dear.

As someone whose colleagues always guess I am pg long before I planned on telling them due to constant and awful puking I do feel YABU.

I remember one boss suggesting that my morning sickness might be "psychological" I could have punched him!

:o @ CatIsSleepy.

There is the other side of the coin - the colleagues (or family/friends/total bloody strangers) who try to treat you as if you are ill when you are merely pregnant.

I smiled through gritted teeth throughout both pregnancies whilst being told that I "must" sit down, "shouldn't" go riding, "ought not to bend/pick up" and so on. I don't know who else they thought was going to bend and pick up my under 18 month old mind you!

I really felt like screaming, "FFS, I'm pregnant, not a sodding invalid!".

YANBU and YABU. yes some people are generally lazy! but is she acctually sick? I am a hard worker, but was very ill with hyperemesis! only had 4 days off in total though being in hospital for 3 of those. nearly every morning i had to stop at the side of the road to be sick on the way to work. but yes sometimes i left a little early with managers permission, they were fab as they no i was not a shurker. On the other hand i get really piddled off when people say i worked through my pregancy its not hard blah blah! i think women who have well pregnancies have no idea how utterly crap you can feel! ps so im not called a complete Moron, i have read your thread

Come on everyone - whilst some people do have difficult pregnancies there are also some people who do use pregnancy as a reason to skive off. Unfortunately for everyone, the skivers make all pregnant women look bad.

"sit next to a ringing telephone without having the ability to answer the bloody thing in case they "cant direct it to the relevant person correctly""

I'm sorry, I can think of a pregnancy-related illness (except ante-natal depression) that would exuse this as anything but skiving.

I also worked a full day in labour - although didn't realise it as I was only 27 weeks at the time. Perhaps if I'd been the sort who did treat pregnancy as an illness I'd have taken it easy and DD wouldn't have been born a couple of days later after they couldn't restop the labour.

YABVU. If someone is a 'shirker' anyway, they will be one whether or not they are pregnant.

For some people, pregnancy is effectively an illness, in that it prevents them from doing some things. I have had 4 pregnancies. I MCd no1 and had extreme hyperemesis with no 2. coupled with the fact that I MCd one of the twins I was carrying, having signed me off for two months my consultant made it clear that she would not allow me to go back to work until after the baby was born. I then spent something like 5 out of the nine months as an in patient having various re-hydrations, bed rest due to bleeding and severe risk of further MC. Would you call me a bone idle waste of space? As it happened, once the consultant made it clear she would not allow me to return to work, I decided to resign as I had always intended to have some time at home with my baby ( ML not as generous in those days as it is now, but if I had wanted to return to work i would have been entitled to do so as long as I had certificates to cover medical absence.

Some people have truly awful pregnancies. I was sick 24/7 for the entire nine months with my two successful pregnancies, and even with DC2, still had to spend a lot of time in hospital with bleeding, risk of MC and extreme sickness. Given that PG1 and PG3 resulted in MC, I was not prepared to risk it if I could do anything to prevent it. Had I been at work when PG with DC2, I have no doubt that I would have had to stop early again.

It is wonderful for you that you were able to work FT throughout your pregnancies. Some of us are not as lucky, but it doesn't warrant your insulting attitude.

I was unable to work through my 1st pregnancy as I was so ill (hospital stay etc), in the end I had to do some freelance work at home to make money. You cannot assume your colleagues are just being lazy, all pregnancies are different and having 2 kids yourself I thought you would have realised that.

I am pregnant now, but I am lucky enough to not have to work at the moment. However, I am one of those "lucky" ladies who despite not puking, I feel sick from morning till night, even at 16 weeks and if I was working I would be struggling to cope. So, I do find comments like this rather ignorant actually and your language in describing these women is also rather offensive.

If you feel that strongly that they are not carrying out their office responsibilities you ought to speak to them directly or their manager, you never know they might be suitably humilitated that they decide not to return once the babies are born, job done!

can't not can of course

I think if you're feeling that bad you should go home and if necessary get a sick-note from the doctor.

I don't think the OP is denying that some people genuinely feel too ill to work productively while pregnant, what she is suggesting is that some people use it as an excuse to do sweet FA when they genuinely are OK and are either exaggerating how bad they are feeling or using it as an excuse to be lazy.

There are times I have felt dreadful and I have taken myself off home but my work colleagues know this is genuine as I am usually very committed and conscientious to my job. It is the people that take the piss because they are pregnant I also find very annoying so no, OP YANBU.

I am a stoic and a hard worker and always have been rarely took a day off sick. My job was one that others quailed at as being too demanding. Yet I felt LIKE DEATH for 4 months in my pregnancy have never felt so dreadful. Had to take days and days off ill as literally couldnt get out of bed. So yes for some people pregnancy (or at least parts of it) sadly is like an illness. Yours were great, marvellous for you, but dont assume everyone else feels the same. This sort of utterly unempathetic attitude makes me so .

YABU pregnancy affects everyone differently and you can't use your own experience to judge how ill or capable of work someone is.

I say this as someone who was pregnant at the same time as co-worker. I had a very easy pregnancy and took no time off and continued to work late etc. She on the other hand had an awful pregnancy and had to take a lot of time and worked reduced hours of due to sickness, exhaustion and backpain. I did not begrudge her any of this even though it meant I sometimes had to pick her work up as it was clear our experiences of pregnancy were not the same and she need the extra consideration.

That being said prior to her pregnancy she was a very conscientious hard worker so I can understand how you might feel different if your colleague was always workshy.

I want to know how those boasting about having x amount of sick days know that they will never be sick, EVER.

A colleague of mine has just had six months off work. She was diagnosed with breast cancer at 36. Can you just clarify if she is a stoic or a shirker? I get confused.

I think that some of you are missing the point that I am trying to make.

I know that people can have horrendous pregnancies that render them so unwell that they physically cannot get through the day and unfortunately have to give up work. I know this.

I am whinging and moaning about someone who is lazy at work (you have lazy people in your work surely?) - who now continues to be even more so lazy but uses her pregnancy as an excuse.

She isnt ill. She is pregnant.

I think YABU. I had quite debilitating pregnancies with MS at the beginning and wheel-chair bound by SPD for the third trimesters.

I realise that you are complaining about lazy people using pregnancy as an excuse. However, you don't know that it is an excuse, so therefore you can't really judge.

I also think people who judge the ease of pregnancy based on their own pregnancies being a breeze are a PITA.

tiredemma, are you a GP? Or a midwife perhaps?

It's just that since you are so adept at knowing whether or not someone is ill, I've got a rash I wouldn't mind you taking a look at...