to not want my DD being fed McNastys by her dad when I've sent her with a packed lunch and tea.....

[LifeIsButtercream]

..... or am I a food snob?

She is only a year old!

He looks after her one day a week while I'm at work (we're seperated), and I send her with a homemade, cooked lunch (just needs reheating) and a packed sandwich/finger food dinner.

Her dad already makes a fuss that he has her once a week from 8-5pm (not overnight) and its not taken into account in the maintenance he pays (which is the minimum amount anyway)so I feel that I need to not inconvenience him further by having him needing to purchase and prepare meals for her on top of this. His family also eat a very restricted diet as they are all very fussy eaters, and I have worked hard to encourage DD to eat a wide range of foods, and I've run myself into the ground making her homemade food.

Ok cut long story short - she came back from his after his day with her weilding a Happy Meal toy, so I ask where she got it from (light-heartedly) and he hands me her unopened lunch (shepherds pie - which she loves) and says that she deserved a treat and he wanted her to have 'something nice for once' as he wouldn't eat what I send so he thought it was unfair for her to have to.

Now, I have the odd McDonalds myself every few months, I'm not that snobby - but she is only 1 - those things are loaded with salt and gack!

Trust me, I WISH I was a troll!

AIBU to be pissed off about this?

YABU about the McD's. Chill a bit.

er,you say you 'run yourself into the ground' preparing her food?? how so?? please tell me HOW? cos she's 1 right?

She might be 1 but it's not going to kill her, the MacD isn't really the issue is it however horrified MNetters might get about it. There is obviously a power/control struggle going on here.

dont make her food any more.

dont discuss it - just hand her over with nothing. up to him then. he eats right? so he gives her what he eats or chooses to pay for food. his choice.

the fact that you feel he is doing you a favour - you "dont want to inconvenience him" is a mindset to get out of - he is her father, needs to take responsibility. the maintenance is separate.

at one she can eat what he eats. wont cost him much more.

send her with no food next time, and when he complains tell him his maintenance isnt sufficient that you can afford to send food that he doesnt intend to feed her.

YANBU, I wouldnt give mc D's to a one year old tbh, not unless I was caught out with nothing better and had hungry child/no option.

Oh, and I think the happy meal toys are 3+ as they have bits that come off, so you might want to tell him not to give her the toy as its actually dangerous.

I don't think YABU. She is 1 and you had already made her food. If he wanted to take her to Maccy Ds he should have told you when he came to collect her, so you could have saved the food you made for her to eat later.

Re the whole maintenance thing, agree with Morloth though, need to sort out maintenance properly if he is being such an arse about it

Well I'm another food snob and in the same situation with my ex, except that my DS is nearly 3.5 now. I'm so much of a food snob that I NEVER eat at McDonalds .

His dad doesn't take him to MaccyD's that often, more that he gives him too many treats: sweets, chocolates, ice-creams at any and all tiems of day so he thinks it's normal to have a treat all the time, especially after meals. I find it infuriating beyond belief but pretty much have to live with it in order to maintain civilised relations. We did a course of mediation about a year ago which really helped and we meet up by ourselves every so often to talk about how things are going, whether our current arrangements are still working for us both, that kind of thing. My bigger bugbear at the moment is how he handles bad behaviour, he still pretty much just distracts him by tickling him, doesn't give any consequences. Which makes me as it affects how DS then is with me. And must be confusing for the poor mite.

Good luck! I don't think you're unreasonable giving a packed lunch given what he's said about food and money but you need to discuss with him whether he still wants you to do it!

I was ready to say YABU but clocked that she is one and changed my mind.

You should at least wait until they are two before clogging their arteries with hydrogenated death patties

Could just eat a Big Mac now. :(

I would stop sending her with food and accept that when your daughter is with her dad he is responsible for feeding her.
I wouldn't send my kids to their dad's armed with food and would be annoyed if my step kids came to visit us with food for their time with us.
It is a form of control.

YANBU, I wouldn't give a one year old McShit.

However, YABU, as you had a child with this man, you have to accept that he will do part of the parenting, even if it doensn't match your ideals.

YANBU. Your ex doesn't have your DD nearly enough to lower his maintainance payments, so strictly speaking, he should be feeding her out of his own money when he has her. If he is asking you to provide food, he is out of order, doubly so if he doesn't intend to feed it to her. Next time he has her, don't prepare food. Tell him you will only continue to do food on future occasions if he will feed it to her, as it is, by CSA rules, not something you should have to pay for. Say you can't afford to pay out for meals that are just going to be chucked away.

That said, there is another issue here, him being a jackass with his attitude towards the whole thing. Not too sure how you're going to solve that one I'm afraid.

As for being a food snob, you are definitely not. McDonalds is no place for a baby. It's no place for anyone who cares about their health either, but definitely not a baby.

As an aside, I'm hoping the poster who proudly fed their baby McDonalds food at under at year was joking....it's a sick joke, but better than it being the truth.

would you make a fuss about a mcdonalds if you were a happy little family.

no i thought not.

its a fucking macdonalds,

Dp takes the dcs once a month, they think its the best thing ever, and yes dd is only 20mnths. she has fruit and milk with her fishfingers, i wouldnt care if she had chips, ONE OFF not gonna kill her, make her obese and so on.

who cares, every in moderation.

Jeez, control freak much??
Sorry I have a nasty XH, he has my DD's a bit when he is about, he feeds them crap, I ignore him, it wont kill them, they have me to do the good parenting

YABU, He is her Dad.So he has as n=much say in what she eats as you do.

yes,yabu,pick your battles and McD few times isnt it

One year old is far too little to be eating McDonalds, IMO. YANBU. Fine if she was four or five as a once in a while treat (once a month, not once a week).