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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

35 year old travel cot...

28 replies

bearcrumble · 16/08/2010 22:15

Last week we went to visit the in laws.

MIL had got DH's old travel cot out of the attic and expected the baby to use it.

It is 35 years old, dirty and stained and smelt of musty attic and had the original mattress in it. which, when I lifted it up, was on top of a broken wooden board (!)

I had it in the room with us out of politeness but we didn't use it. I said to DH it was a total health risk and just had DS in with me (we took the mattress off the bed and put it on the floor).

His mum is a professor in the health field (although not a medical doctor) - AIBU to think it was a bit mad of her to offer us something I'd class as a health risk?

OP posts:

5inthebed · 16/08/2010 22:18

YANBU. Can't imagine how much dust it would have been covered in and god knows what living in the mattress.

firemansaminsanity · 16/08/2010 22:19

YANBU....madness!

JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 16/08/2010 22:27

YANBU

however im shocked they had travel cots 35yrs ago, my mil is aslways telling us you had a pram and that was it.

carrieboo75 · 16/08/2010 22:27

Don't know if it was that old but we used the one MIL brought out that I think may have been dh's cousins so at least 20 years old. Yes it smelt and yes it wasn't the cleanest but it had clean sheets bettween baby and it. Health harzard is taking it a bit far, bit one dirt will not do a little one any harm, keeping them in a sterile bubble will give them a crap immune system. As for the needing to put the mattress on the floor get a grip!

scurryfunge · 16/08/2010 22:32

Bit of a clean up and a differnet mattress....I would not have seen the problem. Over-reacting a bit.

Original poster

bearcrumble · 16/08/2010 22:34

We put the mattress on the floor so there was no chance of the baby falling out of bed - he does roll around in his sleep.

I'm not uber precious about dirt, he crawls around on the floor/drops toys out of pram and has them given back to him - but I wouldn't want him sleeping in a dusty, musty old rotten cot.

OP posts:

Original poster

bearcrumble · 16/08/2010 22:38

JJ It was definitely from the 70s. Had a horrible brown pattern and everything.

OP posts:

NarkyPuffin · 16/08/2010 22:38

Big difference between dirt/dust and the mould spores that could be in a cot that's been in an unheated attic for 35 years.

YANBU

jetgirl · 16/08/2010 22:38

YANBU at all. My in laws got Dh's cot out when we went to stay with our babies but insisted on cleaning it and buying a new mattress ( actually a far better one than the ones we bought for our cot at home
Maybe you could show her a leaflet with the SIDS guidelines on, or offer to buy a travel cot you could keep there if you're likely to stay often.

mumtoabeautifulbabyboy · 16/08/2010 22:46

I was also thinking mould spores when I read the OP and the relation to SIDs. Even when you have siblings it is recommended that you buy a new matress for the cot for the second.

It is in no way the same as a bit of dirt (My little boy has beencrawling around the garden since 7 months, I;m not precious about that!)

Thereore YADNBU:)

carrieboo75 · 16/08/2010 22:46

We put the mattress on the floor so there was no chance of the baby falling out of bed - he does roll around in his sleep.

PMSL - you really think if he was in the middle he could roll over one of you and out onto the floor before you realised.

preghead · 16/08/2010 22:51

It is the mould that is dodgy, not the dirt, YANBU

scottishmummy · 16/08/2010 23:03

they misjudged it and offered manky cot,doesnt make em bad uns.probably a misplaced sense of thrift or nostalgia - since it was your dh cot. i imagine their sentimentality got in the way ach thats our wee boy cot kinda moment

dont berate them for it.just say thanks,and dont use it

ReshapeWhileDamp · 16/08/2010 23:05

I thought that mould spores being linked to SIDS had now been disproved (for some years)? Though I also would not want a baby to sleep in a dusty or possibly mouldy cot, for all sorts of reasons. I'd be annoyed too, that a grandparent thought this would be ok.

But OP, why didn't you bring a travel cot with you? Presumably you were told the baby would have somewhere to sleep at your in-laws, but didn't your DH have some inkling about what this would entail? Most people know if their parents have an old cot left over or not.

When we visit my PIL, DS sleeps in an oldish wooden cot, but I knew what sort of arrangements they had before we came. And I'm so precious about him getting a decent night's sleep and not waking me up that I do tend to be a bit anal about where he sleeps when we're travelling!

JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 16/08/2010 23:06

i didnt doubt its age, its just the way my mil goes on, like a carseat and a lightweight stroller are space age luxurys

Original poster

bearcrumble · 17/08/2010 07:42

carrieboo If you read the guidelines on co-sleeping, it isn't recommended for the baby to sleep in the middle.

Reshape Yes we should have taken our own travel cot. DS has never settled in it though - it's one of those ones like a tent and when she said she had one I thought we might as well try it - didn't realise it would be old and stinky. I assumed she'd picked one up new or secondhand but recent secondhand and in good condition as we would be visiting fairly often.

OP posts:

carrieboo75 · 17/08/2010 10:59

carrieboo If you read the guidelines on co-sleeping, it isn't recommended for the baby to sleep in the middle.

Reshape Yes we should have taken our own travel cot. DS has never settled in it though - it's one of those ones like a tent and when she said she had one I thought we might as well try it - didn't realise it would be old and stinky. I assumed she'd picked one up new or secondhand but recent secondhand and in good condition as we would be visiting fairly often.

 <span class="line-through">-</span>--

Seriously give yourself a shake you are so precious.

In 30 years you will be back on here whinging that you horrid daughter in law is saying the same kind of stuff as you are now.

Why would you assume that MIL had brought you a new one, it's your baby not hers. If you do not want to persevere with your travel cot and you want baby to be in a new one buy another one yourself!

If there was mould on the materess you would see the black marks. Black marks or not, if you give it a wash with lemon juice or a bleach solution then any spores would be killed.

However I doubt very much that there was any to start with as you are overeacting and the reason you started this thread is that you are cross as MIL didn't put her hand in her pocket and by you a new travel cot.

If you don't want to use it don't but that is not her fault.

I don't normally post on such issues, but the way you are talking gives the impression you were just looking for people to agree with you and that if you do not do things by the book the world will explode.

Look out world here comes another helicopter parent - just what we need.

Original poster

bearcrumble · 17/08/2010 11:45

I am not cross that my mother in law didn't buy me a new travel cot - I have no idea where you got that idea from. She said she had one. I didn't ask her for one. I'm perfectly happy for the baby to sleep with me, but I do follow the safety guidelines - so shoot me.

The thing was dirty, smelly and unhygienic - again, shoot me for not wanting my baby to sleep in it.

I'm very fond of my mother in law - and she has been extremely generous to us (we don't have a mortgage on our house because of her generosity) but I found the offer of an old, smelly, dust cot very strange. Do you understand what I'm saying? It's about one particular issue.

Pretty much everyone else has said I am not being unreasonable. I guess there always has to be one dissenting voice. It's a shame you have such an unpleasant manner with the way you say things.

OP posts:

BubbaAndBump · 17/08/2010 12:02

She may well be unaware of some of the issues - my MIL bought a 2nd hand car seat (I think it was off a friend of a friend's daughter's sister's cousin's dog's uncle), and also offered us my DH's old cot and mattress for when we stayed with them. I said thank you very much, will you be offended if I bought a new cheapish mattress to replace the old one? Gave the cot a quick sneaky scrub but didn't use the car seat (we did try and fit it but it wobbled like hell and didn't look sturdy at all.

I think scottishmummy is right and nostalgia got in the way of common sense. A quick scrub and possibly a new mattress would have fixed the situation. Don't be offended though, just put it down to different generation's knowledge.

As for changing mattresses between siblings - should I have done that mumtoabeautfifulbabyboy? I wash the outer zip cover thing, but have kept the same mattress and plan to for DC#3 too

jetgirl · 17/08/2010 12:46

bubba we certainly bought a new mattress for our second child, for both the crib and then the cot. We didn't expect mil to do the same with their cot though as dd had not slept in it that much. She did buy new sheets though as she felt ds couldn't sleep on pink sheets! Nevermind that we put him in floral sleeping bags

bearcrumble I doubt your mil wil be offended if you explain why you would rather not use it. You're really not being precious about it. You wouldn't want to sleep in a mouldy, smelly bed so why would your baby?

PotPourri · 17/08/2010 13:10

yanbu. But I don't think she meant any harm. Just take your own in future

carrieboo75 · 17/08/2010 14:44

Others have sugested a quick wash would of done just fine but you are choosing to ignore that. As are you ignoring those that are saying your MIL ment no harm or to have a little word with her. All you are doing is repeating how dirty the cot was.

Telling the world that you MIL is a health professor and then going on to suggest she has endagered your baby by giving you an old cot isn't showing you are fond of her. It's haveing a pretty big dig at her and her professional capability.

I'm sorry if you feel I have been hard on you but the whole pont of AIBU is to consider all sides and and get advice to move forward, you are not doing that, you are just listening to the bits that match your current opinion and acting all holier than thou because you are following guidlines (which change so often they are hardly worth the paper they are written on).

Had you just posted what had happened and asked how to handle it I would of responded very differently to you, but you didn't you took the back handed dig at MIL in relation to her carrer and I'm followng the guidelines so I'm right approach.

Why post in AIBU if you are not even prepared to consider that you have over reacted and are being unfair to your MIL.

Rockbird · 18/08/2010 07:25

Carrie where have others suggested a quick wash? I can only see one other person saying it's no big deal. And why are you being so narky, are you the MIL? Yes the op should probably have brought her own travel cot but I wouldn't put dd in a cot like that and she's 2. No need for your attitude, you don't have to be nasty just because it is AIBU.

janajos · 18/08/2010 07:37

I have to say I think you are overreacting somewhat too. Do you really think it is likely that you and DH would have smothered baby if he had slep in the middle?!! I agree with Carrieboo, I'm afraid, I think you sound way too precious.

sickoftheholidays · 18/08/2010 07:43

I may have got this wrong, but doesnt the foam start to degenerate and let off toxic fumes after so many years?
YANBU not to have let your baby sleep on it.
Think you did exactly right in keeping it in the room out of politeness, but not using it.
You are also correct, when co-sleeping you are advised NOT to have baby between yourself and partner.

I dont know about anyone else, but I wouldnt want to sleep on a 35 year old stained dusty old mattress thats been in the loft for years, let alone my kids. And I'm not at all PFB.

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