To think my 30 year old Brother really needs to get a life

[teameric]

He still lives with my Mum and Dad, doesn't have a job, no girlfriend (never has had a proper relationship either), he does dote on my DC which is lovely, but he kind of relies on them and the rest of us (Me, Mum, Dad), he hardly ever goes out. Today my Mum came round for a coffee and as per usual he came with her, my Mum went home and he stayed, I haven't had a moment to myself today so logged on here, he started to get all stroppy saying he's bored and why am I sitting on a laptop, wtf? I got angry and told him that its not my fucking problem he's bored, I'm not here for his entertainment, and "stop being a bloody child your 30 years old for gods sake!! Get a fucking life"
He stormed off.
he is so immature its just not normal is it? He doesn't have any SN or anything, but he does severly lack in confidence.

has he been investigated for depression?

Both of you sound immature if that is the way you speak to him.

He sounds depressed.

scurry I don't normally talk to him like that,I just lost it with him today because this has been going on for so long.
and yes I agree I think he is depressed but we have tried to help him, I just don't think he wants to help himself.

I understand you probably get fed up with him but what incentives does he have to move out, get a job, etc? Maybe things are too cushy at home.

He might well be depressed, but I'm not sure you exploding at him would've helped with that! How stroppy did he get with you? If you have a guest in your house, even if that is family, I think being on your laptop is kinda rude. If he invited himself, you can always say to him that you need time to yourself, so would he mind going home. Tbh, I'm not surprised he stormed out, I think you're both in the wrong here, sorry.

Maybe talk to your parents, see if you can formulate a collective way to help him.

Yes my Mum does everything for him, I've told her so many times she's not helping him but she doesn't listen.
I worry about him so much because he's my little brother, and I would just love to see him happy, having a "normal" life.
Life is just passing him by though and he knows that and it depresses him even more.

You don't say why he has no job? Was he laid off or has he never worked? He is probably quite lonely and although, of course, he should take responsibility for himself a bit of understanding might not go amiss. If he was made redundant and is having difficulty finding work it must be very soul-destroying. I'm between jobs myself just now so I can understand. Does he have friends etc.? I feel a bit sorry for him and I don't even know him! I can understand that it must frustrate you too though. So YABU a bit maybe?

and Lucy yes I know what you are saying but he is always around here or I am at my Mums, so its not really as if he's a guest IYSWIM

must be younger brother syndrome - OH's "little" brother is the same as yours. In the olden days they would have been sent off to be priests wouldn't they?

I see what you mean, but perhaps your brother doesn't? The problem is, if no one tries to change the dynamic, it's going to continue with you thinking he's a pain in the ass, and him being one just by being around. Someone has to be proactive here, and it doesn't sound like your brother has the will to do it. Talk to your parents again, see if you can find some common ground on which you can all help your brother. Good luck.

no Mowiol, he hasn't worked for a few years, My DH got him some temp work at his company which my bro did for a month, then a few months later some more work came his way but he didn't want to do it. (He isn't lazy, like I said it is a confidence thing with him)
I feel sorry for him too and feel horrible for shouting but I have done everything I can to help him, It makes me angry when he takes it out on other people.

{grin] "sent off to be priests"

Sounds like he's in a real rut which can be very difficult. Almost like he's "frightened of life" to use an old fashioned phrase. Not sure how you go about shaking someone out of that though - sorry.

You've hit the nail on the head there Mowiol, yes He's frightened of life, and I don't think I will be able to shake him out of it and that makes me feel very sad.