to think this Mother should be ashamed of herself?

[MrsMoosickle]

AIBU? Saw Mum push her DS ( about 1) to the smokers corner area outside my local Tesco. Light up and enjot a good ole chinwag with her smoker friends. Baby in buggy under a fug of cigarette smoke.

20 mins later see same Mother administer an asthma inhaler through a plasic tube thing to same DS in the Coffee Shop. FFS, has the world gone mad?

Indeed, jack.

Of course it's not ideal, but none of us know whether she smokes in her home or not.

I'm afraid I'm a bit about some of the hysteria surrounding passive smoking, tbh.

I'd judge. I've seen parents take very sick babies outside in the middle of winter so they can have a cigarette.

My father smoked like a chimney, I was always ill with chest infections/coughs/tonsilitis. I rarely had the same illnesses when I moved out to go to Uni. I remember having a cough for 3 years, it was more of a bark.

I'd judge too - sorry JenaiM but passive smoking IS a risk. It's not like there isn't enough information out there these days - it's just plain ignorant.

On my way to college years ago, I saw a woman at the bus stop with a tiny newborn in a carrier strapped to her chest. She was puffing away on a cigarette and I was absolutely horrified and disgusted - and that was nearly 10 years ago.

When I was heavily pregnant with DS I sat down on a bench in the town centre for a rest whilst waiting for my aunt to meet me and a woman sat next to me and lit up.... the wind was not in my fav our and I got facefuls of smoke. I asked her if she minded and she just ignored me - I was livid! Ruin your own health if you like, but not mine or my unborn child's!

YANBU!

I would have been appalled by this too - its terrible. No one can claim to be ignorant of the risks of smoking for a baby (or for that matter, an asthmatic!), in this day and age.

I generally give people doing stuff like that an appalled facial expression - which makes them look uncomfortable and embarrassed, I agree with the poster above who says that if fear of being judged makes people like that change their behaviour then that can only be a good thing. I do the same to people who I see stuffing crisps/chocolate down the throat of their fat children!

That's horrible
Have you seen this?

YANBU.

I used to be worried about being a 'bad mother' and screwing up my child.

But realistically, there are people who make mistakes with their kids, and then there are people like your example OP, who are just awful. I think that it is actually abuse to keep a small child strapped in a pram and smoke around it, especially when it has asthma!

I've seen parents being really cruel to children, humiliating them in public etc. I don't mind seeing children smacked (wouldn't do it myself but if it is in the spirit of constructive discipline rather than anger I can put up and shut up) but ... cruelty is different.

YADNBU.

i have no tollerance for ignorant smokers, there truly is no need.

one of my closest friends is a smoker and she wont smoke for an hour before my dcs visit and wont again until they leave (i know if she can do that why cant she quit hey?)

but its about time more smokers were educated at the harm they can do.

Smoking outside can not be as dangerous (not that the specific claims for danger inside are actually proved). For those claiming it is as dangerous imagine getting the same child and putting it in a closed car with 4 smokers. Are you saying that isn't worse?

I'd have more sympathy for those saying "oh the poor child is within 3 feet of a cigarette" if the same people didn't completely dismiss any danger from car fumes.

To me that just means that they can't admit harm from cars because they own one.

Yes onagar, that scenario would be worse, but it doesn't take away from the fact that outside smoking can in fact be dangerous. I don't dismiss danger from car fumes but rarely feel the same effect, probably because any problems I have with cigarette smoke is when I'm forced to breathe it in directly, which is not the case with exhaust fumes. However I don't dispute pollutants from cars are not bad for people with lung problems. I guess you could come back to me saying I shouldn't have a car or travel by car, but in fact living life would be pretty impossible for me without. Smoking is in a different category, and no one can be ignorant of the dangers nowadays.

I think that people can hold quite extreme views regarding passive smoking these days. Although smoking indoors when there are children around is something I do not agree with, I do get a bit about people who post about their folks having a fag outside and not waiting for an hour or having a full change of clothes before touching their child. I thinks it's really sad for such grandparents etc, and I am not convinced that a wisp of cigarette odour from granny's cardi is going to harm a child, especially when you see the number of people who smoke during pregnancy etc, and have children that are fine.

Also, I wouldn't expect someone to move away from me because I am pregnant...I would move away from them - what's it got to do with them if I am pregnant, and why would I put the responsibility for my and my baby's health on someone I don't even know? As it is, I am not really bothered about people smoking near me, as it's usually outside anyway.

It seems we have gone from the extreme of pregnant people smoking and drinking with impunity, to the other extreme of avoiding even looking at a drink or fag, without stopping to do a risk assessment on the way.

"Also, I wouldn't expect someone to move away from me because I am pregnant...I would move away from them - what's it got to do with them if I am pregnant, and why would I put the responsibility for my and my baby's health on someone I don't even know? "

I didn't ask her to move away from me....I asked her if she minded not smoking next to me. She came and sat next to me - I wouldn't have chosen to sit next to her if she was there first. Why should I have to move (which I did anyway)? I was there first. Where does respect for others come into this? Should her wanting a fag break come first in this situation?

Tan, regardless of who sat where first, I just wouldn't expect someone else to move, unless smoking was banned in that area. As pregnant women, we are extremely conscious of our circumstances, but others probably don't even think about it, and inhaling a few wafts of secondary smoke is not likely to harm you, so she might just think BFD! This is not to say that it is not inconsiderate to let your smoke trail into someone's face, but as far as I am concerned, that applies whether pregnant or not.

I repeat,I asked her if she minded not smoking right next to me. I didn't ask her to move. The smoke was going right in my face - and yes, pregnant or not, that is really inconsiderate and unecessary, whether 'a few wafts', as you call it, are harmful or not.

onagar Sun 15-Aug-10 22:25:57
Outside is not a health risk.

Well not unless it's near a main road with lots of traffic fumes.

Makes me lmao when people say silly things like this. Car fumes are not within a parent's control, even if they never drove they can't keep their dcs indoors but they don't have to take them to a smoke filled atmosphere.

chochosan No one sees a pregnant woman and thinks, its no big deal if I light up right in her face surely? Everyone knows that it isn't cool, some people just don't care. I really wish that when it was raining all the smokers could hold off for the 10 minutes they have to wait for a bus rather than smoking in my face. Really pisses me off. I am not obviously pregnant yet, but I do hold hope that when I am some people will be respectfull enough not to do it.

Sanielle I don't think it's a big deal, and I am pregnant! I think it's unpleasant and a bit inconsiderate, but it's not a big deal.

I get much more annoyed by people dropping litter or driving badly.

It's not odd at all; people dropping litter attract vermin - don't you remember the fox that attacked twin babies earlier this summer? That's at least a big a threat to ChoChoSan's baby as inhaling a few wafts of secondary smoke if she lives anywhere townish.

Secondary smoke is harmful, it's packed full of chemicals. Just because some people choose to smoke why on earth should anyone else have to tolerate it? It won't be too long before smoking is banned in all public places and us non smokers won't have to dodge lit cigarettes and foul smelling toxic smoke whilst walking down the street.

As for people that smoke outside hospital entrances........

Just like the mother I heard calling her DS (aged around 3, I would have guessed) "a fucking idiot" before telling him to "stop fucking crying, I know you're tired."

You see some kids with their parents and you want to take them off them. Cunts.

Right so someone has had a cigarette and someone has said the f word? Last time I checked neither smoking nor swearing were illegal.

cupcakes do you know what it's like to go into care? How you can't form relationships and are far more likely to end up unemployed/mentally ill, along with a myriad of other problems?

yabvvu

btw the first 3 lines were quoting cupcakes and NOT my opinion

those few wafts pose varying degrees of danger/discomfort depending on who is inhaling them Oldlady. Someone with severe asthma fir example. And besides, the fox incident was a freak occurence. I don't have to dodge rats and foxes when I go into town, despite the litter. I do, however, have to try and hurry past people walking in front of me smoking, so that I don't remain in the fug trailing behind them. And find other places to sit with my children if someone comes along and lights up next to us.

Delude yourselves that it's not dangerous to breath in cigarette smoke, just don't force others especially children to do the same!

I smoked from the age of 12, the second I found out I was pregnant I knew I wouldn't ever smoke again - and I haven't. Simple.
It really pisses me of when people try and make pathetic excuses for subjecting children (and anyone else for that matter) to their damaging life choices.

Obviously being in a car with 4 smokers is more harmful than being outside, but, for an athsma sufferer one lungful of smoke can have an affect I used to go onto side streets to smoke rather than on a busy high street, I'd have never dreamt of subjecting others to my 2nd hand smoke and I got/get angry when others do.

Well done NicknameInUse! That is not easy (I know, I had to quit when I was planning to get PG and DH quit too).

OP - YANBU because I think you're judging a bit more than just that cig - you're judging the mindset that it's ok to smoke near children (as I strongly doubt this is the one and only time she's done it). It definitely isn't ok to smoke near kids.

Not judgy, IMO all a bit hysterical. Is this Tesco smoking area enclosed so as to enable babies to choke, or are we really talking about a mum and her mates having a fag outside?

I second the whole car thing-you all conveniently ignore the appalling impact of YOUR polluting ways on children's health and demonise smokers. Ridiculous witchhunt.