or is dp about payment for damages?

[cosysocks]

Mum was babysitting ds few weeks ago when he kicked her laptop. She is now saying it is broken however it still works but screen goes white if you move its angle.
She has asked for us to pay repair costs, I think fair enough not happy but my child has caused damage.
Dp thinks we shouldn't have to pay as he was in her care and tbh she has a history of laptops breaking.
So who is being unreasonable? As we can't seem to agree. Oh ds is four.

If she's left the laptop somewhere daft and he's tripped over and kicked it then it's her own fault, but if he's kicked it in temper or something then you should cough up.

How much are the repair costs? Can your Mum afford to pay?

Think you have to balance out whether or not you want her to keep looking after ds (obviously you'd have to pay a babysitter and don't have to pay your Mum), or whether you insist accident was essentially her 'fault' and responsibility for leaving the laptop vulnerable to such a young child.

Personally I would pay for an easy life...however if a friends/relatives child broke my laptop I would never ask them to pay, again for an easy life (although depending on circumstances I would probably accept an offer)

I guess if you and your DH can't agree it would come down to circumstances: where was lap top when it was kicked? How did DS manage to do it? Was he being supervised?

household insurance?

To be honest if my mum had something broken by one of my boys I wouldn't need to be asked to pay - I would offer the money without being asked!

Given that this clearly isn't the way it works in your family I think it is probably relevant how it happened as your Mum should really keep things like this out of the way of young children. On the other hand if he sought it out and broke it or damaged it in anger it is a no brainer that you have to pay it.

The fact that she has a 'history od laptops breaking' is totally and utterly irrelevant unless you think she is pulling a fast one

Yep - what nancydrewrocked said so much more succinctly than me (I also wouldn't ask for payment if this happened to me despite thinking you should have offered) - cross posted

I would pay to avoid bad blood, BUT to be honest I am surprised she has asked you to do so. I would also suggest she get accidental cover on her contents insurance in future. Children break stuff, and if your children visit she should be prepared for accidents.

I think you should pay, unless there were exceptional circumstances, such as knowing that the laptop was in bad condition to begin with and the damage caused by your child is not as severe as to be to blame for everything that's wrong with it.

I would always offer to pay in this kind of situation, especially if you are getting free childcare from your mum.

I would pay

I agree with your dp.

I'm sorry but if you are babysitting a child that young then you either move stuff out of range or accept that things may get broken/damaged.

My Mum would kick herself for being so daft as to leave it somewhere it could be kicked, and under no circumstances would she expect me/DH to replace it.

How does a 4 yo kick a laptop?

If she left it on the floor and it got kicked by accident then I don't think you should pay.

If she was sitting on the floor with him and he kicked it out of anger then you should pay.

I do think adults should take reasonable care of their items in the first place.

I would try and think of it in a different way. If she had left a drink on the floor that ds kicked it over (accidently) would she pay for ruined carpet/ accept blame if he burnt himself?

Your responsibility to pay, sorry

What make laptop is it?

You could try fixing it yourself by going to the manufacturers website. Sounds like it might be a loose connection, which I had with mine, and I fixed it myself with some guidance. I know nothing about computers so was quite chuffed!

I echo what Ali said.

I'm surprised she had to ask... IMO you should have offered to pay.

I understand a toddler kicking a laptop by accident but a 4 yr old? I guess you can brush a broken vase under the carpet but not a laptop, sorry.

A very difficult one!

I definitely think that if you, or your children, break something then you should simply pay - and I don't mean offer to pay, completely insist.

However, I would be very annoyed/irritated if this had happened whilst someone else was supposed to be in charge and I felt that it could have easily been prevented by the adult in charge.

At four...kicking a laptop? I would certainly expect a four year old to be responsible around a laptop. Unless it was on the floor (adult's fault) and he accidentally kicked it whilst playing.

If it was a deliberate act of vandalism on his part then, if your son had the funds in his bank account, I would withdraw it from his account. Yes, even at four.

agree with alicet.
if any of my children had broken something i would have immediately replaced it. or at the very least offered to replace it or given something towards the cost.

I'm a bit on the fence on this one.

On one hand, your DC has broken something so really its only fair that you offer to replace/repair the damage BUT if you think she's pulling a fast one, say to her to claim on insurance and you pay the excess

on the other hand, when you look after children, you put breakables away. Its her responsibility.

If she left it on the floor, it would have been easy enough for him to catch it with his foot thus kicking it. In fact, I did that to DH's.

But it didn't break.

However - the problem you describe - and I could be quite wrong but I had that happen to my previous laptop. I thought it was a connection problem between screen and rest of unit but it turned out to be a fundamental motherboard problem that ended up with me needing a new laptop.

Therefore, its really a tricky one because if it is something unrelated, which is possible, you could end up essentially buying your mum a new laptop for something which was nothing to do with DS which seems unfair.

I actually am of the opinion that if someone knows they are having a child around beforehand (so you didn't just "drop in" type thing) they should move things like this, depending a bit on age etc. Fine if they are on a table and the child is 4 but not fine on the floor as its a bad place to keep such things. Always depends on context etc.

If its a small repair though I would pay to avoid bad blood but beg request that she leave things like this out the way next time.

I'm going to my in-laws for Christmas. There will be lots of kids around, including my own. Some will be too young to really understand how delicate a laptop is. But if I leave it somewhere and one of the kids break it, I wouldn't dream of asking the parent of that child to replace it - particularly if they were not even there. So in a way I think your mum is out of order but depending on the circumstances I might pay anyway.

Thanks for all your replies.
Dp and I are still disagreeing, Don't want this to be aibu by stealth but was at work posting on phone last night.
Laptop was on floor leaning against wall... It's an Macbook, the computer works but the screen will go white with black lines intermittently.
Dp is seemingly adamant we shouldn't pay and has said he will speak to my mum.

I would immediately offer to pay as well. Especially if you're getting free childcare. I think your DP is being pretty mean about it.

And the screen on a laptop is integral. If it doesn't work, even intermittantly, then the laptop is broken.