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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not be able to let the DC's have a late night?

23 replies

spybear · 15/08/2010 17:51

I have 4 DC's. 2 DS's aged 5 and 7, 2 DD's aged 3 and 11m.

during term time the baby goes to bed at 6:30 and the older 3 go to bed at 7.

The boys share a room and are allowed to read/look at books for an hour.

When the holidays started I told them they would be able to stay up later, but I cant do it. By the time it reached 7pm I have had enough. Baby is in bed as normal at 6:30, but the most I can hold out for the older 3 is 7:30. the boys can still read in bed, and I know they sneak toys into bed and thats fine, as long as they are quiet.

I feel really guilty, the boys sometimes stay at their friends house, and he is allowed to stay up until he wants and I know they love it when they stay there and can do the same.

I think the main problem is that i live in a small house, we only have a small kitchen and a lving room, so one the baby goes to bed they have to play down in the living room and after 13 hours of looking after them, hearing their squabbles, I want them in bed for some peace....but its the holidays and i know im being a mean mummy.

OP posts:
YunoYurbubson · 15/08/2010 17:55

YANBU.

GypsyMoth · 15/08/2010 17:55

yabu

the older ones deserve some flexibility.....and you're just shoving them to bed because YOU'RE tired/had enough...

i'm on my own with 5 dc and still let them have some special time with me..

belgo · 15/08/2010 17:56

YANBU. You are not being mean, you need to think of your own sanity!

ChasingSquirrels · 15/08/2010 17:58

I think it is fine shoving them to bed, at bedtime, because you have had enough.

violethill · 15/08/2010 17:58

Can't you just put the baby to bed a bit later? It seems a bit rigid to stick to these times during holidays.

LadyBiscuit · 15/08/2010 17:59

It might be nice for the older 2 to stay up a bit later - could they maybe watch a DVD or something? They would sleep on too more than likely so that you would get staggered mornings

Original poster
spybear · 15/08/2010 18:00

IloveTIFFANy - We try to do something more grown up when the baby has her nap, we will play a board game, bake or get the felt tips out, surely thats special time?

OP posts:
Squitten · 15/08/2010 18:00

I don't think YABU - doesn't sound like they take issue with it either so don't see the problem

Original poster
spybear · 15/08/2010 18:02

Ladybiscuit-They tend to stay in bed longer anyway as they stay up later in their beds reading. i only really get to sit down in the evenings and cant stand the thought of kids DVD's being on in the background.
I know im grumpy Wink

OP posts:
Librashavinganotherbiscuit · 15/08/2010 18:03

i don't think you are being unreasonable in the slightest but then I am quite a strict bedtime person. I think letting them read later or play quietly in their room is fine.

GypsyMoth · 15/08/2010 18:05

nothing quite like being made to feel special when the babies are in bed in the evenings though.....like you actually want to have them around a bit longer....even just 15 mins. but if you can't,then you can't. no problem is it.

Original poster
spybear · 15/08/2010 18:08

Baby goes to bed at 6:30pm, they are up till 7:30pm so they have a bit of time..

At least there are no children playing out that they can hear like I used to when I was younger, that was horrible.

OP posts:
moondog · 15/08/2010 18:12

I think you sound incredibly and refreshingly on the ball. Parents are in charge. Not kids.
I bet having a relatively long peaceful evening is a lifesaver and I am sure they are up early (and well rested).

Original poster
spybear · 15/08/2010 18:19

Thanks Moondog. I also feel refreshed in the morning and ready for another day.

I start uni in September so wont be with them all day everyday and i suspect I shall want them to stay up longer to spend more time with them.

OP posts:
PfftTheMagicDragon · 15/08/2010 18:21

The kids go to bed when you say they do. We have children over the road out playing in their front garden until gone nine thirty in the holidays - small children as well. DS goes to bed at 7:30 (this is half hour later than his normal time) - he doesn't sleep later in the mornings and staying up late is not much of a treat if he's a zombie the next day.

I agree with moondog.

ArthuriaAugustaDArcy · 15/08/2010 18:22

YANBU. You need time in the evening without children around. I also send mine up to bed (slightly later than yours, but much earlier than they 'need' to go) just so I have a couple of hours to recuperate and face the onslaught the following morning. Grin

ArthuriaAugustaDArcy · 15/08/2010 18:23

Have just seen your new post, spybear. I'm sure you're right. I think it's SAHMs who are more rigid about early bedtimes!!

LadyBiscuit · 15/08/2010 18:24

Oh sorry - I misread your OP and thought it said that they only went to bed 30 mins after the baby. A whole hour is enough :)

pointydog · 15/08/2010 18:28

Do your boys wany to stay up later? If so, what exactly do they want to do?

If they are not terribly bothered I would certianly carry on putting them all to bed early. I bet they wake up darn early and you deserve some relaxation.

atswimtwolengths · 15/08/2010 18:29

I think you're right to be strict about bedtimes - they are much healthier and happier if they sleep well. I just wonder whether the 7 year old should go to bed at the same time as the 3 year old. Would the others create a fuss if he stayed up half an hour later than them?

jasmeeen · 15/08/2010 18:37

I think yabu. My eldest DS is 7 and 7pm is too early for him to go to bed. All 3 of my DCs are up at 7am but DS1 definitely benefits from staying up a bit later. He enjoys the privilege as DS2 (3.5) and DD (7 months) go up to bed earlier (together).

I might be influenced by my own childhood tho, as me and my two younger brothers went to bed earlier(and within an hour of each other) than other kids and in summer I could hear the other kids playing outside and hated it. As a consequence my DCs stay up longer in summer than any other time of year and I don't want DS1 to feel that he has to go to bed early because the other two have to.

Original poster
spybear · 15/08/2010 19:05

Pointydog-They do want to stay up later, and i tell them they are, an extra half an hour and they can read until they like, as its light outside i cant turn the lights out as such. they seem ok with this.

OP posts:
pointydog · 15/08/2010 19:20

If they are ok with it, you should enjoy your evenings, guilt-free.

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