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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that small children imitating breast feeding...

39 replies

invisibleink · 15/08/2010 16:13

...is totally normal and just them imitating women around them and all part of developmental role playing?

Or is it weird and make you uncomfortable as it does my friend?

And does it matter whether it is a boy or girl doing it and at what age does it become weird? (if it does, but at 14 I might be worried!! )

OP posts:

ChasingSquirrels · 15/08/2010 16:15

I think it is cute - ds1 sticking his small cuddly to his belly button to feed it when I was feeding ds2 - anatomically incorrect, but cute.

morejuiceplease · 15/08/2010 16:16

Yanbu. My dd 3.11 breast feeds her dolls all the time. I think it's great.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 15/08/2010 16:16

I think it is as normal as them playing mummies and daddies, or pretending to hoover, or cook. A great deal of children's play is them imitating what they see adults do. So what's different about breast feeding? You'd only be happy for them to pretend to clean up but unhappy for them to pretend to breast feed if you had huge ishoooos!

It becomes 'weird' at the same age as any pretend play would become weird. So at the same age as it would be weird to see the child pretending to hoover or pretending to mend the car.

LibertyGibbet · 15/08/2010 16:18

My dd is weird. She flings her doll at me and declares 'you bf it, I don't lactate'. She's 3 and good at delegating.

FerminaUrbinoDaza · 15/08/2010 16:18

YANBU. Surely it becomes weird at the same age as a child giving a bottle to a doll becomes weird?

AMumInScotland · 15/08/2010 16:19

Totally normal - they copy everything when they're small, and don't know that breastfeeding is different from brushing your hair or anything else. And no different for boys when they are 2 or 3 or so, as they aren't even clear yet that boys don't grow up to be women with breasts.

I guess I'd find it odd to see a school-age child pretending to do it still. Though 4 is still pretty much a baby yet and they do still play a lot of pretend games. Maybe by about 6?

Marjee · 15/08/2010 16:21

I think its lovely! It shows that they see it as a normal, natural thing which can only be a good thing imo. Your friend sounds strange, I'm guessing she either has no children or chose to bottlefeed?

Original poster

invisibleink · 15/08/2010 16:21

Thank you all!! I think it is totally normal and they will grow out of it when they grow out of pretend play, but my friend has a real thing about it. Says it makes her feel odd when she sees my (toddler) boys doing it. I think it is cute - they lift their tops and all and pretend to be mummies. They make the teddy cry and say 'ok darling, here I am!' and then feed it. The teddy then falls asleep

OP posts:

EdgarAllenPop · 15/08/2010 16:22

its cute. DD is doing it ....although she calls it 'baby eating mummy nipple'

i think its very sweet, she also tries to help with nappies, fetches babies hat, and has offered the newborn toys and shoes...(her most prized ones)

just standard copying, isn't it?

reallytired · 15/08/2010 16:24

I can't see anything wrong with a school age child pretending to breastfeed. Its not as if breastfeeding is dirty.

lol... My son pretended to breastfeed his doll at the age of 7, because he had a baby sister. It was funny but harmless.

Children learn through pretend. A seven year old who pretends to breastfeed will be less lightly to get sore from incorrect positioning when she has her own children.

Original poster

invisibleink · 15/08/2010 16:25

Also, pmsl @ Liberty!

Marjee - she couldnt breastfeed so bottlefed instead - do you think it would stem from this?

Also re the thing about them seeing it as normal, the eldest wasnt aware enough of the younger one to remember me feeding him, and they now both see me feed DD. Neither of them have asked if I fed them by bottle or breast and neither has asked why she doesnt have a bottle like other children, despite being around MANY bottlefed babies. Incidentally, I couldnt feed my elder two either although I tried and they were bottle fed! I guess they dont remember and it IS nice they see it as normal!

OP posts:

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 15/08/2010 16:27

DS3 would sit next to me and "breastfeed"his teddy whilst I fed his baby sister! Also in toddler group he would go and sit in a corner with a dolly with his back to everyone to"feed" a dolly!! He was just copying what he saw me doing at home he is now 6 and no longer lactates Funnily his DS who was BF til she was 2 only bottle feeds her dolly as she has probably never seen anyone breastfeeding.

LackingInspiration · 15/08/2010 16:29

YANBU

StarlightMcKenzie · 15/08/2010 16:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mousymouse · 15/08/2010 16:33

ds (3y) feeds his dolly. I find it adorable. sooo cute

EdgarAllenPop · 15/08/2010 16:35

i do also think DD might remeber being BF - i stoppd her at 15mo...but i think she has a memory of it (by the way she pulled my blanket down and made to latch herself on after baby...)

sapphireblue · 15/08/2010 17:06

My 2.5yo DD breast feeds her doll. And has been known to shove breast pads down her top

terryble · 15/08/2010 17:08

Young children copying breastfeeding is entirely normal. If you find it disturbing, that means you can't get past your own issues with breastfeeding, in order to think about it logically. Which is quite tragic.

maduggar · 15/08/2010 17:24

Mine have all done it, it varied between age 1 and 4. I have 2 DDs and a DS and thought it was cute when they did it!

MumNWLondon · 15/08/2010 18:25

Cute = small child trying to BF dollies or the baby.

Weird = my nephew and his 3 year old friend biting each others nipples!

CMOTdibbler · 15/08/2010 18:57

it's cute and lovely. My 4 year old shoves toys up his top, invites me to feel the baby in his tummy, it pops out, then he feeds it

corns1lk · 15/08/2010 18:58

lol at liberty's dd

Original poster

invisibleink · 15/08/2010 19:02

terryble - I would just like to point out that I DONT have a problem with it! My friend did!!

OP posts:

Wanttofly · 15/08/2010 19:04

YANBU.

2shoes · 15/08/2010 19:06

yanbu
dd's dolls had feeding tubes as a lot of her friends are fed that way, so no difference imo, (as long as you don't object to them pretend feeding with a bottle)

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