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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to object to my ds having a tattoo!

52 replies

pranma · 14/08/2010 21:57

My ds started wanting a tattoo on his 15th birthday and I said NO.I kept on saying no until he was too old to listen to me anyway.He kept toying with the idea but as he was 40 in April,is married,has a 10yr old daughter and a responsible position in a publishing firm I supposed it was forgotten.He lives in Turkey now and after a drinking bout with his ds-i-l's boyfriend he has got a ruddy great dragon on his arm!!!!
He emailed me a pic of it.I hate it,I really hate it!!1I know I cant do anything about it but AIBU to object?
He just laughed when he told me and dd thinks its hilarious too.

OP posts:
cupcakesandbunting · 15/08/2010 17:05

I might not stop caring but unless my son is doing anything illegal or harmful I'd like to think that I won't be still trying to exert control onto him.

diddl · 15/08/2010 17:29

Well, if it really is a "rddy great dragon", then itsounds awful.

It´s surprising that he´s bothered now-mid life crisis?

ChippingIn · 15/08/2010 18:14

'Guess who the dragon represents' Cheeky sod Grin

CCAB - she's not trying to exert control on him, surely she's allowed an opinion though??

cupcakesandbunting · 15/08/2010 19:04

Well, the way I see it is if you are voicing an objection, you are doing so to try and prevent something from happening. Of course she's allowed an opinion but he's forty, fgs. I opened the thread imagining it to be a mum attempting to stop an eighteen year old from getting inked. I actually laughed when I read "but as he was 40."

Also, the respectable job in publishing drip-in got my back up. Was that for the benefit of tose of us who might think that because he'd got a tattoo that he would be jobless? Don't get what relevance it had.

ChippingIn · 15/08/2010 19:28

CAB - just for the sake of debate you understand :) He's already had it done, so surely it's just an opinion now? It can hardly be 'exerting control' when it's already been done??

Yes he's 40, doesn't mean she has to like him getting a tattoo - he's still her baby :)

Ach - just a little scene setting - don't take it so personally Wink . A proud Mum who thinks he's done well, who can't see WFT he'd want to ruin his lovely skin with a tattoo :)

pointydog · 15/08/2010 19:38

yabu. He is a very grown up adult.

LynetteScavo · 15/08/2010 19:40

YANBU. It's your prerogative as a mother to objuect.

At least he's laughing about it, I guess that's the important thing.

pointydog · 15/08/2010 19:41

I can easily believe that I will still care just as much for my children when they are adults. But I have seen my parenta and the ILs treat one or more of their very adult children as if they were small childrne on more than one occasion and it makes my skin crawl.

I will try my hardest never ever to do that.

FakePlasticTrees · 15/08/2010 19:48

oooh, I'd be worried, sounds like a mid-life crisis - still, a tatoo is far cheaper than a sports car or a divorce for a younger woman... Grin

And he men of his age don't tend to have their arms uncovered during the working day, so it's not like that many people will see it.

Can you check if a local tatoo removal place does gift vouchers? Would make a great Christmas pressie...

proudnsad · 15/08/2010 20:00

Oh you're not being unreasonable! He's still your little boy. But there's nothing you can do, so swallow it and try and find the fun in it if you can.

Original poster
pranma · 15/08/2010 20:25

Thanks everyone-I am indeed giggling about it.By the way I am exceedingly proud of him,my dd and my step dc too.What great people they are-tattooed or not.Yes I am glad he has a good job.His dad died when ds was 16.Ds worked washing up at weekends and gave his little sister pocket money-to help me.The three of us sat up in bed the night dh died and he made hot drinks and we played board games till 3am to try to stop dd having nightmares.He accepted a step father with grace and love.He took a gap year but worked-using a qualification achieved by hard work.He met and married a lovely girl and has never lived in the UK since.He is a proud father and a devoted husband.He flew over to be with me when I had my cancer surgery and supported dh.He gave his sister away on her wedding day.Ptoud-I burst with pride for my dc.I just dont care for tattoos and I think 40 is old enough to know better.

OP posts:
cupcakesandbunting · 15/08/2010 20:32

So he is a fantastic son? Indulge him a little then!

pointydog · 15/08/2010 20:33

aw, pranma. Your family sound slovely.

bottyburpthebarbarian · 15/08/2010 20:41

pranma - your DS sounds lovely and your whole family sound lovely.

FWIW I am 40. and Female. and the only girl in my family. and have wanted a tattoo for about as long as your DS.

Both my brothers have tattoos. My mum thinks they're lovely

My Sis-in-Law has tattoos, my mum thinks they're lovely

I got a tattoo a few months ago.

She hates it. And its on my bum so can't even be seen

ChippingIn · 15/08/2010 21:24

BottyBurp Grin

poshsinglemum · 15/08/2010 21:28

Aw Bless- yabu!

Original poster
pranma · 15/08/2010 21:35

I know-sigggghhhhhh!!

OP posts:
bottyburpthebarbarian · 16/08/2010 11:59

chippin - I really don't get it. The boys have about 4 each sis-in-law has 2 both of which can be seen one on her wrist, one on her back

so why does she hate mine? its on my bum. and its a scorpion, so it MEANS SOMETHING its not just a random blob.. oh i dunno

Original poster
pranma · 16/08/2010 15:52

I guess its a mum thing-my dd has two tiny ones one on her foot[octopus]and one on her shoulder[Chinese character]she had them done in Thailand while on her gap year.The only reason I didnt freak about them is that as she showed me she said casually,'Oh and I was bitten by a stray dog too!'By the time I had taken her to hospital I had forgotten the tattoos.

OP posts:
Jamieandhismagictorch · 16/08/2010 15:57

Maybe it is to do with the sullying of the peachy skin you once kissed and bathed ...... ( eew - the thought of it in a 40 year old)

YABU to object

YANBU to not like it and to come and tell us all about it.

Jamieandhismagictorch · 16/08/2010 16:00

pranma - I am 40 so shall have to remember to ask your opinions on things from my mother's POV in future (not that I'm saying that you and she are necessarily of the same opinion about things, but it might help ...)

YunoYurbubson · 16/08/2010 16:00

Roffle - I have been meaning to click on this thread to see how old the ds in question was.

How wonderful that he is 40!

upahill · 16/08/2010 16:07

Hi Pranma, I too thought your son was going to be 15 when I started reading the post and did think 'Oh for God's sake he is 40!' However your responses have made me laugh!!

You have a nice family!! Grin

petisa · 16/08/2010 16:20

Lol at 4" x 2" being a "ruddy great dragon" Aren't you exaggerating a bit? Grin I was imagining it covered his entire arm! Pranma yanbu to object but of course it is his body and his choice.

Megatron · 16/08/2010 16:58

My MIL only realised DH had tattoos when she saw one peeking out from under his sleeve in a photo. She had a major hissy fit and told him he looked 'common as muck'. Cue 36 year old man shuffling his feet around staring at the floor while I nearly burst a blood vessel laughing. Bless her.