bit mad this, I know.

[StuckInTheMiddleWithYou]

Everybody wants me to have children. My Partner, my family...(aka my mother) also a million pregant friends.

We were TTC but stopped due to money worries.

AIBU to give in to many sides of pressure, despite being dirt poor? I'd like to, but pride is stopping me. This is a head vs heart situation. Do your worst Ladies, I need your AIBU honesty!

I sometimes think, would would I to say to a daughter of mine. The answer is simple, "Go for it My Child".

Heart and head currently at war in so many ways.

Should I follow all my female ancestors and bring up children on no money, again? As we always have?

Fuck it, aye! But keep hold of your dreams too.

Birthday of fun, you sound like my Dad.

Maybe I'll be wonderwomaan.. or write about the imposibillity (sp?) of that?

Doubt that anybody would want to read it though!

Thank you anyway

You wouldn't necessarily be bringing up a child with no money, just starting out with not very much. You can still write when you have a baby. If you got an amazing job in the next few weeks would you really want to take a break shortly after starting out in your career or would you find yourself at 33 considering waiting a few more years?

Children are going to interrupt your career, either now or when you've become more established. Neither is ideal but on those terms you could put off having kids forever.

Money wise we spend far less per month now we have DS (10 weeks) as we go out far less and just have different priorities. If you have a large family you'll probably find a lot of the setting up expenses covered with gifts/hand-me-downs.

I second the previous poster

There is never enough time
There is never enough money

Taking the plunge is scary but at some point the desire outweighs the fear!

I'd go for it but then again I had to live on IS, CTC and child benefit for a few years when I left exdh and coped very well. I'm ultra careful with cash though. You sound as if you have your head screwed on so I'm sure you'll be fine. Having family support is a big plus. Surely they'd help out with babysitting so you could write? Also you have 9 months of pregnancy so can get some writing done then. Good luck whatever you decide

Having a baby is so much bigger than anything else you could ever do. The most important thing IMO is to have a solid relationship with your partner. Everything else will work itself out if you work towards it.

Regret re not having a baby, I imagine could consume you in time to come.

If you are DYING to have a baby then have one. But suggest you spend some real time with friends with young babies first. Don't just go for coffee! Move in for a day or two and see what drama unfolds. It's easy to have rose coloured glasses about babies - bottom line is they are lots of work and as the mother the responsibility falls on you 99.9% of the time.

Money is important. If you are concerned about your financial well-being now, it will become so much more of an issue with a baby. Frankly I would say wait until you are more comfortable with your financial situation. Don't bring a baby into the world if you can't support it financially. You also don't want to resent the baby for constraining you financially.

Babies have more hidden costs than anything you could ever imagine. It's not just nappies and clothes. There's a world of things you will need that you have never even heard of. For eg, we had a baby with reflux who needed special, more expensive formula, drops for colic costing 10 quid a week etc - it all adds up.

Then there's the glasses he needs...he's only 6 months old! If we bought him the cheap frames and cheap lenses he would look like the kid with coke bottle glasses so instead we are forking out loads for a nicer pair with thin lenses that won't make his eyes look enlarged. And he'll need to change them at least twice a year. Do you see what I mean? EXPENSIVE. Ashamed of the cost so I won't divulge it!