to think dh is a total selfish twat?

[Norfolkbumpkin]

Dh was admitted to hospital in March with Septic Pneumonia, crashed on us twice and was in intensive care for a spell. He has had two follow up appointments at the hospital since to check the scarring on his lungs, the seond oof which was yesterday. It wasn't the total all clear we were expecting, and he was reminded that he was very ill at the time, so not totally surprising that he has issues as a result. Dh was a smoker and stopped the day he was admitted to hospital, and I honestly believe he hasn't smoked since......until about 10 minutes ago he exclaimed 'You're not going to like this but I am now going outside to have a smoke as I was given a little bit of hash yesterday'. I got up and walked out as I am totally fuming/upset, why can't he just eat the stuff in choc brownies or something rather than smoke it! Am I being a tad sensitive or justified in being narked?

He's been given a second chance with his lungs, he's an idiot to run any risk whatsoever of ruining it.

You seem more angry about the smoking itself as opposed to the fact he's smoking drugs ?? Plus the drugs will not be helping his fertility one bit, in fact its more likely to be hampering it.

I'm ashamed to say I probably am focussing on the smoking situation rather than the drugs, it hadn't occurred to me that it might affect his fertility.

Proudnsad - Where did I say curing an addiction was 'that easy'??

He hasn't smoked in 5 months, he has cured any nicotine addiction, what he hasn't cured is the desire. Different thing entirely.

If someone wants to stop smoking they will - in his condition he should accept that he has to stay a non smoker - which he had been for 5 months, until yesterday.

Your DH is having a 'health scare' like that - you just can't see it yet.

NB The occasional bit of hash wouldn't bother me, the smoking would be a deal breaker, especially after what you have been through. I don't know how much of an affect on fertility hash has? MiniBMW2010 do you know?

Saying 'You HAVE to stop smoking/drinking/drugging or (insert threat) doesn't work'. That's the same as saying it's 'that easy'.

It's an addiction.

No one is 'cured' of nicotine or any addiction.

My dh loves me and the kids to the ends of the earth. He can't kick his habit.

He keeps trying though, bless him. I am hoping this time ('after the summer holidays' ) he'll do it. Not that hopeful

YADNBU

proudandsad - he had already stopped!!! If he chooses to go back to it he is choosing to start again. Nicotine is only physically addictive for a short period of time.

I also disagree - smoking and being an alcoholic are not the same.

Your DH can kick the habit if he wants to. Yes it's hard - it's not impossible, it's a period of time getting the nicotine out of his body, after that it is simply a habit he enjoys. He has to want to do it.

ChippingIn.. Do you have any posts that aren't men are horrid? I've tried to give sound, unbiased advice but that's apparently wrong in light of your sensationalism.

I have read articles where it definitely talks about how smoking normally and smoking hash affects male fertility ...

See here www.buzzle.com/articles/marijuana-effect-fertility for some examples

Maybe showing this article to your DH will help him understand why you are so stressed about it all ??

Sorry, I don't think that link will work, hopefully this will:

www.buzzle.com/articles/marijuana-effect-fertility.html

Thanks mini for the link. Will tentatively broach the subject.

he was 'given' some hash?? you sure he didnt buy it??

and who by? a 'friend'?