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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To tell all the people who keep commenting unfavourably on the size of my pregnancy bump....

24 replies

MassiveBumperlicious · 13/08/2010 19:32

...to fuck the fuck of for fuck's sake!

I'm so sick of it. I've had it almost since about 25 weeks, and I still have 6 weeks to go. Colleagues do it all the time, some in a benign way, but comments I am getting are 'oh, look out, it's getting dark in here', 'it's an eclipse!', 'pull up a bench'. I am also getting colleagues who literally just look at me like this when I walk past their desk, and then there are those who just point and snigger as I walk past.

Now every man and woman thinks they are a bloody midwife and confidently tell me that I will not make it to my due date, that I am having a big baby, and that I look like I am about to drop any day now. Well you fuckers, I've seen the actual midwife and every time I see her she tells me I am bang on size for my dates!

I am 5'2 so, yes, chances are I am going to look a little bit bigger than some women, but for god's sake do any of them think they are making me feel good about myself. And the worst thing is I have a family weekend this weekend so I will have to put up with similarly tactful comments from my mum and various aunts and uncles the whole fucking weekend and I will have to smile and nod and take it. Oh yes aunty, I do know twins run in the family, but having had 3 scans I think they would have picked it up by now. And then there is the other aunty who when I said we were having another girl said 'oh now' quite seriously. Oh god and then they are going to start on names aren't they. Please someone shoot me now, do it before I do it to someone else. I'm teetering on a knife edge of sanity here...

OP posts:

thesecondcoming · 13/08/2010 19:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

vinocollapso · 13/08/2010 19:50

I had this, too - not with size, but with the world and his wife giving their opinion on what sex it was, how they didn't like the names, how I shouldn't have a home birth...on and on.

Sod 'em - your body, your baby, just relax, smile sweetly and comment that at least you have a reason for your lovely, blooming shape!
x

Odysseus · 13/08/2010 19:56

Oh tell them all to NAFF RIGHT OFF!

I had this from about 3 months. Culminating in my boss telling me that at 7 months she was still in her ordinary trousers (bitch), and introducing me to interview candidates as "having a layer of blubber to keep warm".

Tell them to NAFF OFF.

shandydrinker · 13/08/2010 20:04

just say ...errrrrrr "yes, thats cos i have a baby growing inside me"and look at them like this

Giggle78 · 13/08/2010 20:06

Hi,
I am only 5 foot and had this all the time.

I was big and it hurt to stand up by the end but I did not want anyone to comment on it. Also each time I saw the midwife they told me I was bang on with my dates and size.

I too wanted to tell them all to f the f off. I completely understand.

However three weeks and one day after ds was born and I look normal. It must have all been water. He was only 6lbs 8. I am back to being ten stone already and was 9 1/2 stone before I was pregnant. (I know that sounds big but I was very fit and wasn't fat).

I hope that happens to you too - then every one can marvel at your amazing transformation! xx

HumphreyCobbler · 13/08/2010 20:07

snarl something vitriolic at the first person who mentions it

do it really loundly and it will put off the rest of them

I can personally guarantee that this will work, I tried it myself.

domesticdiva · 13/08/2010 20:08

YANBU! I've had this a couple of times, off complete strangers too! It really does my head in! The last was a particular annoying work colleague whom commented on my size at 28 weeks, to which I replied "at least I have pregnancy as an excuse for my size, whats yours...?" She soon shut up

Original poster

MassiveBumperlicious · 13/08/2010 20:18

Thanks all, unfortunately I won't be able to snarl at my family (my colleagues on the other hand...) but just venting on here is enough!

That's good to know giggle, I'm pretty sure a lot of it is ice cream and cake too, so we'll see how it works out! I'm not too big all over, it is mostly bump, that's and my swollen feet and hands.

Still, after I finish work next week I can hole myself up for 4 weeks and not talk to anyone else!

OP posts:

HumphreyCobbler · 13/08/2010 20:24

Sounds like an excellent plan

MrsLevinson · 13/08/2010 20:33

MassiveBumperlicious I feel your pain. I'm 35 weeks and am measuring just right for my dates too - but get told regularly how 'huge' I am. I wish I could smile politely and ignore it but the hormones won't allow - on occasions I have produced my growth chart just to prove how 'average' my bump is, or otherwise eloquently told them to eff off (while on the verge of tears). At least the end is in sight eh...

rachelfruitloop · 13/08/2010 22:23

MassiveBumperlicious I know how you feel, I also got this ALL THE TIME when I was pregnant with DS2 who is now 12 weeks old (some huge bump pics on my profile). The comments and looks were endless and very tiresome. One supervisor actually sent me home from work early saying he didn't want to deliver a baby at work that day, I was 32 weeks pregnant (going home early actually wasn't too bad! ) I also was measuring bang on for my dates, however DS2 was 11 lbs 2 oz! Don't want to scare you - the birth was actually not bad!

Floopy21 · 13/08/2010 22:56

I got told my face was filling out lots too today (as well as the obligatory "you're only halfway through? my god, you're massive!) Makes you feel really crap, sorry it's happening, but people's stupid comments will soon pale into insignificance.

Marjee · 13/08/2010 23:10

Yanbu, people feel the need to say the most stupid insensitive things to pregnant women! I remember colleagues telling me my bump was huge, then other people saying it was tiny. I was quite sensitive about it as I was measuring 3 weeks behind all the way through. Its like they think you haven't noticed you're pregnant ffs

echt · 13/08/2010 23:21

YANBU. As I've posted elsewhere, the only comment suitable to be passed to pregnant women is: "You're looking well." Especially if they're not.

echt · 13/08/2010 23:23

I realise that sounded sarcastic, as if the Massive's embonpoint was awful. Not intended at all. :)

prozacfairy · 13/08/2010 23:25

YANBU. I found the "I'm due in X number of weeks. And when are YOU due?" threw them a bit and didn't make many friends but worth it!

zipzap · 14/08/2010 00:34

Make sure you choose a couple of completely outrageous names (but with a hint of plausibility) for the baby that you can't decide between... Ermintrude LaaLaa or Dilly Dolly Dandy or Cleopatra Buttercake for example, I'm sure you will come up with something much better.

Just for the entertainment of watching everybody either be polite and try to stutter that they like one or other or both of them, or to try to persuade you out of them whilst you can protest that they are being very rude for ignoring your choice.

Will completely distract them from trying to get the 'real' names out of you. But do make sure that you choose at least two so that down the line you don't get some enraged great aunt who's just spent the previous 3 months embroidering the outrageous name onto a welcome home sampler or a BIL who's had it engraved on a whatnot because they really believed it was going to be the one!!

siilk · 14/08/2010 09:19

I hear you. However, I get the opposite - 'You're so small, are you sue you're xx weeks?' ahhhhhh. Shut Up!
I am measuring right and scans are bang on.

Why do random people who don't know me think it is ok to comment?? Grrr

imissredwine · 14/08/2010 09:23

I had this constantly. As soon as you are visibly pregnant the world seems to feel that unsolicited advice and comments are fine.

'OOh, aren't you big?'
'Ooh, you're not very big, are you?'

Several times per hour! It gets very boring.

Unfortunately, once they're born this then slides into, 'When are you having the next one?' and 'Oh, you can't just have one!'

People probably mean well; doesn't mean you don't want to tear their throat out.

Best thing? Fuck them... Most of it is them making a comment because they think you want to talk baby constantly...

Tell one or 2 to 'Fuck off# and it will make you feel better. It won't stop it happening though

Alicetheinvisible · 14/08/2010 09:26

Bump - i sympathise. Being only 5ft3(and a half) the baby has to go somewhere! I have people asking me from about 35wks "Have you had that baby yet?" strangely, now that i am 40+5, no one seems quite brave enough Apart from the MW at the last appointment "Ooh, Alice, oh dear, this is going to be a big baby" twat

With the names, we have chosen Frederick (it goes back quite a fair way in both families) but DH's Aunt (who has always been lovely) was totally aghast "Oh no, you can't call him that, goodness no"

Meh, my body, my baby, now fuck the fuck off and fuck off again!

imissredwine · 14/08/2010 09:32

Agree with Alicetheinvisible 100%

Sometimes it was fun to make names up.
Sometimes if people commented on my size, I would do 'pouty lips' and say, 'Really... Oh my God... do you think there's something wrong? Oh no!' and look very upset... Nice to headfuck people

ZacharyQuack · 14/08/2010 10:50

I said once "But enough about me, what about the size of your gut?"

Lizcat · 14/08/2010 11:12

Everyone's got an opinion when I was pregnant I worked in a very physical job to 36 weeks and consequently my bump was very small. Every one had an opinion.

ethelina · 14/08/2010 11:20

Tell them all to fuck off. Then blame the pregnancy hormones. Actually don't blame the hormones, just tell them all to fuck off.

I get the other problem. The blind fitter this morning asked where we'd put the baby as it was so quiet in the house. DH had to tell him it was still cooking - I have 3 weeks to go.

Fucking moron did not notice - he obviously thought I was just a bit fat. Bastard.

(Oh good, that feels better!)

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