Bit of history, have ds and dd (7 & 9) ds has severe autism and very severe allergies and dd is nt.
Dh family have nothing to do with ds, they take dd out occassionally for the day and I speak to them probably every couple of weeks on the phone, organise birthday presents for them and the wider family and let them know how the children are.
We used to see them alot more until ds was diagnosed with a cat allergy, they were not able to understand why ds could not be around their cat. So we stopped visiting, regually invited them to our house or tried to organise meeting up elsewhere. They did'nt seem interested in this.
Anyway their cat sadly died, they got a new one which basically meant ds would not be able to visit them again.
They appear on the surface to be so interested in their gc, photos on the mantlepeice and always keen for us to attend family functions with the wider family. We always do our best to do this for them.
Anyway one of the great aunts has a big b'day coming up party to be held at one of the other siblings house. Ds does not attend,not safe for him plus very stressful for him and us. So we arrange respite for him and paln to go with just dd.
I phoned dfil tonight to ask if it would be ok for dd to bring a friend with her to the party, no other children in the family, plus their are always other guests at the party,so not exclusively family.
He said no, did'nt feel it was appropriate.
So dd will be bored yet again.
Am I being unreasonable to think that it is no big deal for her friend to go, bearing in mind party is not at pil's house and we bend over backwards all the time trying to make them happy?