To be hurt and angry?

[deemented]

Two years ago today my husband died.

No one has remembered.

He has three brothers and none of them have bothered, nor have any of my family. Not one message from any close family on either side to say they remember what day it is and were thinking of me and the children. I went up to his grave earlier and no one has been their either.

I feel so sad that he obviously meant so little to them that they can't even be arsed to ring on his anniversary. They forgot his birthday last week too.

Deemented, that's so unbelievably crap. Family should know better. I'm sorry.
X

I am so sorry for you, it's so hard isn't it ? You have my sympathy.

I sort of understand what you feel like - I lost a child some years ago and after the first couple of years found I was the only one who remembered the date.

I cannot comprehend what it's like to lose a spouse because I haven't been through it. However I made a decision to remember her myself and not get too caught up in how anyone else behaved. I am sure my family and friends do remember but sad though it sounds time and life has moved on.

I have had other children since and although they know about their older sister I haven't involved them too heavily in remembering her.

My daughter is still with me because I remember her and that's what matters to me. I planted a little rose bush for her in our new garden when we moved house and chose one that flowers around the time of her anniversary. My other children know it as Charlotte's roses and for me it keeps her as part of the family.

Although it may be hard do try and stay in contact with your family - they don't always behave as we'd want but I'm sure your children will be grateful for it in later life.

I'm so sorry for your loss, and of course it's reasonable to be hurt and angry. I hope you have other people in your life who can give you the love and support you need.

YANBU, very sorry x

Really sorry for you. Sounds horribly tough. In their defence, maybe they just don't take so much notice of the anniversary as you do. Your husband was obviously a massive part of your life and so it is totally natural that this would be really significant for you.

I think its a shame that none of them have got in touch though, and I do hope you;ve had some good friends around. Even more of a shame is that you obviously don't get the support you need from your family. Sorry - nothing helpful to say at all really, just want to wish you all the best for the future.