to feel deeply hurt by my family?

[livingthehighlife]

My sister lives about 100 miles away and we don't see her very often, but we are quite close.
She's getting married on Saturday. Its supposed to be a 6-person ceremony because they have very little money. In order to prevent any hurt/anger/arguments they kept every member of either family out of it so its friends doing the witness thing.
She asked me to come help my dad watch her daughter overnight as they are going for a meal afterwards and staying in the hotel for the night with the 4 friends.

On her hen weekend a few weeks back i forgot about the secrecy of the wedding and put a comment on my FB about "dinner and boogie tonight for sisters hen", which some of the grooms family saw. They then told the grooms family, who were all happy for them.

Now she's telling me that they have invited about 12 of thier friends and all of the grooms sisters and his parents to have drinks with them in the evening of the wedding, after the meal etc. My parents, my brother, nor I have had this invitation extended to us, but she still expects me and my dad to come down and sit and watch all this going on whilst they all go off and celebrate the wedding.

Now i know its ultimately up to her who she has at her wedding, but i can't help but feel incredibly used, particularly because my parents and i have very much helped financially towards this wedding.

Then to top it all off my dad said to me today that i only have myself to blame because i put my sister into an awkward position where she had to tell people about her wedding...ok fair enough, but i didn't put her in a position where she had to invite her mates and in-laws and exclude her own family :(

AIBU to be very hurt by this?

You have also mentioned that you helped out financially with the wedding - all sounds very hurtful to me. Yes, I can understand that she might be miffed about FB thing but the fact that his parents were ALWAYS going and yours weren't?? Frankly I think she sounds very selfish, never mind ungrateful if you have helped out with money.

Why are you your dads carer if he is able to look after a child on his own for 4 days? Sounds to me like your whole family is taking the piss out of you, esp as you say your dad mopes about when he is with you,but is all sweetness and light, living it up when he is with your sister. Doesn't sound like he needs a carer tbh.
Think I'd be inclined to cut them all loose or at least start putting my own needs first, were I to be in your position

If my sister did this to me, I would most certainly not be acting as her childcare. What a bitch. FB thing was clearly a genuine mistake, she's weird, very weird.

Thanks everyone for your very honest comments...

Yes, i know there are major issues around me acting as my dad's carer and him playing on his mental health issues when clearly he is perfectly capable of functioning on a normal basis when he is with my sister :( This i know i need to deal with.

Trust me, i have a very messed up family and i've always been the one they all turn to, the glue that holds them together if you like. And yes i've allowed them to use me as a door mat many many times.

However i've decided that now is the time to draw the line. But somehow, because they are so used to me being all sweetness and "yes, no problem i'll take 7 days annual leave and come mind your child" etc etc, they now think i'm being selfish for saying "sorry but you're asking too much of me" (diplomatically might i add).

Yes, OP, although I was a bit tough on you about the FB thing, I think you are getting a very crap deal. And as for your Dad's 'mental health issues' that mean he needs a ou as designated carer, but can be left with a small child for several days and thrice

I want to say all sorts here, but I haven't got the stomach for it today.

Hmm. You aren't the glue that holds them all together you are the person that they all dump on. All pretty horrible for you really. And saying "sorry but you're asking too much of me" is very diplomatic in your situation.