to be dreading my best mates wedding next friday

[superv1xen]

i am bridesmaid, she is marrying a feckless, controlling, no-prospects cocklodger who everyone can see is an arse apart from my friend. so i have got to sit and smile in my fucking horrible bridesmaid dress and watch her make a stupid mistake.

also they have decreed no kids at the wedding (other than my mates 3 YO dd who is flower girl, she is the exception ) so i have had to beg my mum to take the day off work to have my kids. my mate and her DD are staying at mine the night before (the whole "not seeing her hubby to be on the day" crap) and i know i am gonna get no sleep as my DS and her DD will be up pissing about all night as they have gotta share a bedroom plus my youngest is teething and not sleeping through, so i am gonna feel and look like shit the next day.

plus i hate dont like weddings at teh best of times (when me and dp get married we are going to vegas) but she is my best mate and i have got to grit my teeth and get through it for her...

[[[[[sigh]]]]]]

Could you do a general, in the absence of your mum if yu did want to changte your mind it's ok type convo?

Poor you - YANBU - I posted something similar recently. View here seems to be 'don't say anything, but be there for her when if it goes tits up' - I have to reluctantly agree, but there are subtle questions you can try (i know now thanks to the people who replied to my AIBU) - how about 'You seem a bit quiet when he's around - why is that? Is everything alright?' or 'Tell me all the reasons why you love your big fat loser hubbie to be - he must be great for YOU to be marrying him, so let's have a girly sharing of the fun stuff'.

That was meant to be bigfatloser obv...

I am of the don't say anything camp too.

My best friend has also made a big mistake. 2 kids and 10 years later I am still waiting for her to wake up. I feel the support she needs now and when it does (hopefully) go tits up outweighs the saying something now and losing her and then her not having the support to leave him. I have phonecalls every three weeks or so with her in tears and how crap he is, then a call 10 mins later saying all is ok because he is getting a chinese and a bottle of wine on his way home .

It's hard to watch but there must be something that keeps them together.

It's not in Hemel Hempsted is it????!!

hahaha no, brightandcheery it isnt, why do you ask? :o

Yeah, suck it up seems the best advice. A mark of a true friend is one who stands by their friend when they're doing something you don't agree with.

Perhaps some kind of mouth-guard to save on the teeth-grinding would be sensible..?

omg omg its TOMORROW

and i have just been in town buying their wedding present, card, etc with tears in my eyes for all the wrong reasons.

:(