To be annoyed at the classroom assistant?

[Smash09]

DD is 5 and in year 1. Yesterday she was a bit sick at her desk, not a massive one, just over her own bit of paper and her lap. I know that she is only 5 and can't explain the details but from what she told me, this is what I assume happened:

DD suddenly vomits during quiet drawing, sits there and starts crying (obviously shocked!).. all havoc ensues with surrounding children fascinated by said sick, classroom assistant is sent to deal with her and rather than discretely scooping up the sicky paper and taking DD out, she grabs DD and half carries her to the toilet (just outside the classroom). Then leaves her standing there and goes off to get dds PE kit to change in to, doesn't help her but instructs her to put the sicky clothes back in her pe bag with no carrier . Then takes her to the office where they are HELPFUL and give call me to pick her up. She had some sick still on her hands and face when I got there and wasn't a very happy person all in all!
I don't know if there is a "protocol" as such for dealing with this but I expect it happens fairly often with the little ones and I'm just a bit annoyed that she was dragged off crying and covered in sick and then had to get herself changed and stuff the clothes with no plastic bag into her PE back, so it was a bit of a cleanup mission later.
I don't expect them to spend their days mopping up bodily fluids and nursing my child, but how would a 5 year old know how to sort herself out?! I feel that the CA should have been a bit more helpful really. DD is fine no btw but seems to think CA is not very nice! I think I agree! Am I being unreasonable to want to mention it to the school?

yanbu, i'd complain

Hmm, they might be getting a phone call then...

'Protocol' is usally to avoid touching a child unless necessary so I've no idea why she needed to carry her out. However, I don't think a distressed 5 year old would be able to get sicky clothes off without getting it in their hair, etc. so I would help (I was a teacher before children came).

The sensible thing would be to clean hands and mouth, get PE kit and a carrier bag, help the child to undress and get into clean clothes. Bag up clothes, a hands wash for all concerned and down to the office. Lots of reassuring noises throughout.

Had the CA been hoiked out of another class or was she already there?

I think YABU, TA went out with your child, went to get her some clean clothes and told your child to put her clothes in her bag to take home!
what more was she supposed to do?

YANBU,I would certainly mention to the school.

Teachers have a duty of care IMHO of the children they are in charge of and making sure they are clean and confortable after being sick/wet themselves is certainly part of that especially with infant school children.

A few years back, DS2(reception at the time) wet himself because the teacher did not think it was a good idea to let him go on his own from the playground to the toilet and she could not go with him (longer story but not essential here). He was left crying and wet until all the children went back in. Then, he was given dry underwear to go and get himsef changed in the toilet. He was distressed and put the dry underwear on, on the top of the wet one, nobody checked. I only realised when I saw him walk very uncomfortably on the way home.

I first went to the teacher to ask what the circumstances and she was still sure that not letting him go to the toilet was the right thing to do and that she could not hae known DS would put the dry one on top of wet one (agreed but did she not wonder what had happened to the soiled one?)
I had to then take the next step up and ask the HT what was actually the school policy WRT toilet. HT was at some of the teachers answers to my questions.

I understand the policy about not touching little ones etc. unless absolutely necessary but sounds like maybe the CA was not as helpful as she could have been. If you child still had some vomit on her hands and face it sounds like a none-too-thorough job of helping her clean up. And if she was crying and upset the surely some milk of human kindness would not have gone amiss? She's only 5 after all.

YANBU. Your child is 5 and was clearly unwell. I'd want the adults around her to act a little more sympathetically and helpfully than they did.

Ring the school and ask to discuss it. There's no need to be shouty or outraged but I'd certainly want the incident reviewed.

It sounds like the CA didn't want to to anywhere near a sick covered child (and I know it's not nice) so dragged her away asap, ditched her, didn't help her change or deal with her things and then ditched her again on the office to cope with. Was she even given a glass of water? Not fair to your daughter at all.

CA is in the wrong job if she doesn't want to/can't deal with a small child being sick. It's semi par for the course with infants and she should know and be able to deal with that appropriately.

themildmanneredjanitor - guessing Scotland where school comes out end of June/beginning July then goes back in August (depends on LA)

Thanks for the replies. The CA was already there but I guess was told by the teacher to deal with it. Yes, I was a bit surprised that she would have pulled dd by the arm to get her out but I suppose maybe she wanted to remove her quickly and maybe my dd wasn't moving fast enough?! I guess if she was just sitting there crying it felt sensible to get her up and to the loos.
Maddy68 - yes I know it's not her job to nurse my child or anything but I think it's not very helpful to just get a 5 year old to get the sick clothes off and into her pe kit without helping at all and I know they aren't allowed to 'touch' them, but if it was neccessary to 'help' dd get out of the classroom then surely it's necessary to give a bit of a hand getting sicky tshirt and trousers off without them spreading sick over dd! Then not give her a carrier bag to put them in to avoid it getting all over the bag etc. Yes, she did take dd out and fetch her kit for her but it's the manner that she went about it that bothers me, as if its dds fault for being sick. DD told me: "I would have gone outside but it came out too fast" poor thing but lol - we've all been there...

Can't tell you where we live but she is at a summer school program

actually yes it is her job to "nurse" the child The school has to look after the pastoral care of the child. In this case that would mean lots of assurring words and lots of aid. To get a 5 year old to sort out her own change imo is not ok.

My dd1 (now 12) had a moment in reception where she suddenly felt really sick at school dinners the head was by her and when dd1 said I am going to be sick head said can you get to the toilets dd1 got up and tried to get there when she started throwing up head reached out and caught it in her hands.. (I WOULDN'T have done that lol) she told me later it was sheer reflex one arm round dd1 the other catching the sick.

dd1 was sat down on the toilet with a bucket whilst head wiped her down then got her clean clothes (they always kept a small amount of spares there) helped her get washed down then I was called to come get her.

I would not expect them to catch the vomit but yes I would expect them to help her into her clothes and to do lots of soothing comforting words telling her of how we would get this sorted and get her into her pe kit so she would feel fresher and then take her to the office to call mummy and everything would be ok she was not to worry.

I work in a school, though not as a CA, but obviously know our CA's well. There have been days in the past where one particular woman has had several children, one after the other, throwing up and on some occasions has suspected that parents have sent their children in to school that morning, even knowing that they are not feeling well, some children even saying things like "I was sick in the night last night". (I realise that this is not the case with your daughter, Smash09).
Of course classroom assistants should be kind and helpful to the children, but it is not a very easy job at times! (BTW, it is really important that all school age children should be able to dress themselves and change their clothes when necessary - this would save a massive amount of time for school staff at PE time as well as sick incidents - it is astonishing how many can not. School staff are not nannies).

"(BTW, it is really important that all school age children should be able to dress themselves and change their clothes when necessary - this would save a massive amount of time for school staff at PE time as well as sick incidents - it is astonishing how many can not. School staff are not nannies)"

Agreed but surely when a child has been sick they can be less able to do so than when they are well?

Being able to get dressed etc. is one thing but "negotiating" your way out of sicky clothes yourself when you are 5 is a bit different.

Agree completely - lots of clothes pull over head - a child needs help then if she has been sick down her front.
I am not a TA - surely they can help a child wash and change?
And a plastic carrier for wet soiled clothing is a very basic bit of help.

Can you imagine how difficult it is for a classroom assistant to be touching sick, not just once but several times a day?? What are the chances of her then becoming ill, no matter how carefully she washes her hands, and then very likely passing the illness on to her own childern?? Not nice for a child to go home with a bit of sick still on them, but they will live. Have a bit of sense!

Disposable gloves are surely worn, like for first aid? Aren't they provided in schools?

I really think sick could be wiped off a child's face.

I do think that a TA of young kids should expect to come into contact with a bit of sick or wee at times. They could have disposable gloves for such times.

I have to mop up sick and wee from people on a daily basis at work and have never become ill because of it.

But horridhobo, by leaving a child alone to do a job like peeling off clothing covered in sick you are probably risking germs being spread around even more - and "having a bit of sense" extends to how you deal with the situation. School can probably run to rubber gloves tec. and some disinfectant, antibacterial handwash. In fact I'd say "have a bit of sympathy" for the poor little mite.

Horridhobo I cannot actually believe you think that!

Are there disposable gloves provided? I thought schools did, because of HIV etc.

TBH the facts of what the CA did seem fine to me - the manner and attitude have all been deduced from your child retelling this story so it's not necessarily the most reliable account. ISounds like CA was just trying to sort it out as quickly as possible, which is fair enough. I am sure dd was genuinely a bit shocked and upset by the whole incident but I am not convinced that the CA did much wrong .....

except, that at the point where dd was ready to go into the office to call you, I would then have expected them to check she was clean everywhere and then comfort her once the cleanup and drama was over.

Blimey, I know other children's sick (or anyone's sick actually) is not very nice, but surely anyone with any sense of humanity would wipe a child's face if it had sick on, and be a bit more helpful.

I too would be pissed off. I don't know if I would actually complain about it though, but i would feel sad for my child.

OK - I am not advocating leaving a child alone to change - I didn't express myself very well as I was a bit irritated at the general tone of the thread. I have never known one of our TA's not help a child; what I was trying to say really was that I can understand if the woman in question seemed a bit off hand as she may have had several incidents like this to deal with during the day (it is not uncommon for children to wet or even poo themselves at school) and no one has limitless patience. If I ever see a TA irritated in this sort of a situation it is generally not because of the child but because of the suspicion that a child has been sent into school even if not 100% because it is easier for the parents.